Anonymous Posts(1.25.10-1.31.10)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

For the second time since we launched on November 9, we've gone a week without receiving any anonymous entries. That is not a bad average, and pretty impressive when you think about it.

But okay, Readers. Just these two times. Let's get something sent in by next Monday, alright? Alright.

In lieu of the posts, here are links to our columns and features from last week that may not have gotten the LOVING (comments) that they deserved. Let's fix that!

Anonymous Posts (1.18.10-1.24.10)

Aliza: Can we all be friends?

Summer's Interview of Gordon: "I do identify as a gay man but I don't let it define me"

Tyler: Homosexuality vs. Religion

What We've Got

Let me preface this post by admitting that I am still fairly bitter about the fact that Duke, in all it's wisdom, decided to NOT cancel classes today. That's not to say that I can't deal with a little snow, but the problem is that DUKE can't! 11am this morning and still nothing paved and hardly any roads plowed, all of us left to fend for ourselves to get where we need to go. It's times like these when I wonder at the reasoning of the Powers That Be. What exactly is going on up in those lofty heads of theirs?

On that same token though, I suppose I count myself fairly lucky. For while I can't always decipher the logic behind some of Duke's policies and decisions, for the most part I can feel fairly certain that they have the best of intentions (if not a little misguided). I feel as if there is at least some blurred sense of fairness and justice that guides many of these resolutions. This is no more apparent to me than in the manner in which Duke administration has approached LGBT issues. Has it been perfect? Not nearly. Has it always been informed and just? Probably not. And yet, in terms of policy, I would bet that the Duke of today would shock and surprise that Duke built off the grease of nicotined donations.

Unlike some schools with conservative and religious backgrounds, Duke has surpassed these modes of thought to open its policy (if not its atmosphere) to more liberal endeavors. We are recognized here as a community, as a protected minority. Duke's policy is striking in it's commitment to at least maintaining the semblance of acceptance. The same cannot be said for all our American Institutions. The struggles of the students at Notre Dame University to gain even this modicum of recognition reminds me of what Duke could be. As an institution founded upon religious understandings, Duke certainly had the potential to remain mired in conservative religious thought.

Just last week students marched to the President's office to demand that Notre Dame allow a gay/straight allowance on campus AND add sexual orientation to the nondiscrimination policy. It is so relieving to know that if I were to go to Notre Dame (which isn't completely improbable, as I come from a deeply Catholic family and attended nine years of private Catholic school), I wouldn't be granted the basic rights that even our national government is starting to recognize. Not to mention, Notre Dame is amongst the top 20 of our American universities and yet LGBT students and their allies are still not allowed the freedom to gather as a recognized student group.

Regardless of religious doctrine, Notre Dame is first and foremost an educational institution. And when religious doctrines start to impede the safety and the learning of its students, a university is obligated to address this discrepancy. So while at times I am disappointed with the manner in which Duke chooses to respond to our needs, I find that I must continue to remind myself how far we have come. Lack of Snow Day and all.

Interracial Lesbian Relationships: A Swell Endeavor

Hey yall! I'm Veronica Ray, the newest addition to the roster of bloggers at Our Lives. I play rugby, do HIV counseling and aspire to be a power lesbian when I grow up. My future posts will probably deal with race, economics, business, international news, fashion and art.

“Wouldn’t it be cool to have interracial friendship cards? Like a little white girl kissing a little black girl on the cheek and inside it says something like “Thanks for being such a great friend!” ?

Race is a popular topic at Duke. I feel like any post about race can quickly fall into the trap of rehashing the same ideas and grievances without really getting anywhere. With that disclaimer I hope I can begin an article that offers a personal perspective on my experience with race in the gay community.

My preference for black women has become a running joke with my friends both in and outside of the center. If I innocently tell a friend that I met a cool girl named Chantel, chances are she’ll reply “Oh….you WOULD be friends with a girl named Chantel.” If I tell you I’ve met a girl “of the hue that I seek” it means I’ve met a special African-American and I won’t be surprised if you joke that I’m mess for getting so worked-up. Though I am currently flamboyant about my love of black women, I didn’t acknowledge my preference till after I graduated from high school. I never wanted my interest in black women to be simply “jungle fever”- objectifying women as exotic objects who I thought fulfilled certain sexual stereotypes.

The first time I told someone that I was interested in black girls she replied “Hmm…I can’t exactly agree…black girls are so ghetto.” I found this comment strange because I have always been interested in educated, accomplished women regardless of their ethnicity. Where I grew up many people, including me, were mired in ignorance of the black community. Some friends in high school would throw around the N word in an attempt taunt my best friend, who is part black. After she went off on me for asking what part black she was when we were 14 I considered race an off limits topic. I secretly looked down on her for not fighting back against racist comments. I felt like I could tell her anything about my sexuality and I hoped she wasn’t keeping any of her thoughts from me. I realized after telling my best friend about my preferences that race was never an off limits topic for us. When I described race relations at Duke to her, she revealed that she identified with white culture. It was then I realized that our whole life I had put her in a box she never felt comfortable in.

Though I had “come-out” to myself about my preferences, I was still intimidated by the prospect of approaching an actual black woman. Before I left for college a friend scared the shit out of me by saying that she didn’t think black lesbians dated white lesbians. It seems ridiculous now, but I spent a lot of time finding examples of interracial lesbian relationships to prove my friend wrong. I thought no black girl I met would want to date me. I now know that some people are equally worried that I wouldn’t be interested in them because of their race! The many revelations I’ve experienced are a testament to how naïve I was when I entered Duke. Even after growing up among Mexican Catholics and with a family full of different ethnicities black America was still a dark continent. After being at Duke for a few months my interest in black woman remained theoretical. It wasn’t until I started telling the queer black women I met that I was interested in black women that I started getting the attention I was looking for. It was not as difficult as my friends back home led me to believe! I don’t think indicating my preferences was necessary, but it took away the lack of confidence and tension I felt due to the myths I heard growing up.

I am still sometimes amazed at my own ignorance. I read the book Hair Story at my girlfriend’s recommendation and afterwards we watched the hilarious Chris Rock documentary Good Hair. When it comes to black hair, instead of a dark continent I now see a dimly lit path. I don’t need to be a black hair expert to know that doing my girlfriend’s hair is bonding time that I look forward to each week. It’s not like my girlfriend and I talk about race all the time (though we might talk more than usual due to my academic interest in ethnic conflict, international relations, and urban studies); she just can’t help noticing things that I don’t. We joke about how a PDA-loving interracial lesbian couple is a unique sight on Duke’s campus and a rare one in the media. In addition to making interracial friendship cards, I’ll expand my business to interracial relationship cards. A simple drawing of a short white girl kissing a tall black girl is all I need. So I can say “Look! That’s us!” and mean it. As I like to say: when it comes to people, ghosts, chocolate, clothing and tea, black makes everything better. The only thing that black doesn’t improve is tenting.