May 28, 2012

Anonymous Posts (5.21.12-5.28.12)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks, hate speech, or express or insinuate that one is at risk for hurting themselves or someone else. Please read this for an explanation of this policy and seek help if your or a friend find yourself in that position. With those exceptions aside, please feel free to submit your thoughts and questions. :)

Hey everyone! It might be summer, but Anonymous Posts keep on rolling. Be sure to submit whatever is on your mind. Summer isn't always easy--whether it's being home or in a new environment--and we're here to support each other as we all navigate varying obstacles. Today's memorial day, so we want to recognize the women and men who've given their lives so that we can have the lives we do. We would like to especially honor those who were forced to serve our country and lose their lives while in the closet under Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

Now we've got two posts for you from OC:

This is an interesting article.

This isn't necessarily LGBTQ related, since I'm sure you could replace "gay bar" with "bar" and straight folks would have the same experience...but I didn't know where else to go for advice. See, at Duke, I never felt unsafe hooking up with a random student at a gay bar and I never felt unsafe going back to someone's room with them/bringing them back to mine. But now that it's summer, I don't know what precautions I need to take to keep myself safe. And I don't just mean sexually safe--condoms, dental dams, asking the right questions--I get that part. But how do I know if this random person I just met at the gay bar is a safe person for me to hook up with on the dance floor? I used to stick to hooking up with other students and felt like that did a good job of eliminating the super creepers. But now? And how do I know this person is safe to go home with, and/or bring back to my place? I'm sure what I experienced at Duke was a false sense of security. A Duke student can just as easily be a creeper and/or take advantage of me in their dorm room or Central campus apartment as a random person can in their real-life apartment or house, etc. But I can't help but feel that in the "real world" there are more risks. How do I navigate those?

Please remember that there are a number of resources available on campus and in the local community. resources are available over breaks and throughout the school year. If you or a friend are experiencing thoughts or urges to harm yourself or somebody else, please reach out to the following resources: In an emergency, please don't hesitate to call CAPS at any time, including "after hours" at (919) 966-3820. Ask to speak to the advice nurse and tell them you are a Duke student. You may also call the Trevor Project, a national hotline specifically for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer and questioning youth (college students included). Their number is 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).


  1. Hey #2:
    Honestly, this is something that you should do with people regardless of the location, but I can understand that you feel there is a filter at Duke. The only thing I can tell you (and this goes for when you're back at school too) is to have much more conversation before you decide that you'll go home with someone or visa versa.

    For me, if I feel like I know them a little better, I'll be more comfortable doing anything. Period.

    It's not just about asking the "right" questions (like: Are you/have you ever been a serial killer?) but just asking any questions at all. It might seem a little bit too attached for someone who's just hooking up, but you may find that a little more information will make you feel safer. Also, a stable hookup with someone is a lot safer/fulfilling for me, personally.

  2. aaahh the christoph guttentag seal of approval