June 11, 2012

Anonymous Posts (5.28.12-6.10.12)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks, hate speech, or express or insinuate that one is at risk for hurting themselves or someone else. Please read this for an explanation of this policy and seek help if your or a friend find yourself in that position. With those exceptions aside, please feel free to submit your thoughts and questions. :)

We were always falling. Groundlessly. Freely. Continuously. You and I came from two different parts of the picture, yet somehow our paths crossed for a little while, during which we kept on falling with the company of each other. Our energies exchanged. You transformed me. I transformed you. We both changed. Forever. Then our parting came, as it was always expected. I struggled with all of my power to hold on tight to you. I could not just let you go like that. While I was grasping you, I hurt you without knowing it. I tried everything I could. Yet, our distance kept growing. You were falling fast. I was falling just as fast. But we were pulled into two different directions. Suddenly I realized there is now a void in my being that wasn’t there before you showed up. You took a part of me with you when we parted. I cried so much when I realized your figure was becoming smaller and smaller in my eyesight, until you became a dot and vanished. I decided to close my eyes, letting myself falling while quietly hoping that a miracle will bring us back together again. We are still on our way. The ground is nowhere to be seen.

This is what a proper and constructive apology looks like.

I am gay and haven't been the most sexually active person ever outside of actually dating someone, but I kinda want to have a few casual hookups over the summer. Does that make me a bad person?

Consider this a post from your uncommon member of Duke's LGBT community. I'm a male who's actively involved with Duke's SLG/Greek life, works in finance, is from a conservative southern baptist background, considers himself quite masculine, and is hugely in love with his boyfriend. I'm here to say to those who are most constrained by their families, backgrounds, friends, and affiliations, that life will eventually GET BETTER. I often think of the anonymous poster a few months ago who spoke of the self hatred he has endured. I'm here to say that (although I recognize that all walks of life are different and nuanced) life improves. It may take a while. It's scary. You may need a special person (or people). You might find yourself in need of saving because you feel that your life has spiraled out control. After reading so many posts about men who have found themselves in situations similar to my own, I feel like that I should reach out and tell you that life may be hard for now, but it does slowly get better, little by little. Your anxiety or depression doesn't always have tonlast like a dark cloud, preventing you from beong your true self, or living your life to the fullest. No matter what you may think, you're NEVER alone...at all, and there are people who've found themselves in situations similar to yours and found a way to come out of it as a better person. There are people who love and support you, regardless of your place in life. I know that life hurts now, but if you can one day summon the courage to reach out to that first person, the burden of your secret, your shame, or your disdain will eventually begin to lift. Hell, life is too short to spend it upset and disliking such a lovable quality of yourself. If you don't believe me, talk to me anytime, as I wish that someone in my situation had spoken to me. I never thought I'd love someone of own gender so strongly, or miss him so much. In short, please understand that your time on this earth won't always go well, but life has a funny way of going on despite your circumstances, and you should embrace that, knowing that despite what's going on right now, it does and WILL get better :) #offmypedestal

Please remember that there are a number of resources available on campus and in the local community. resources are available over breaks and throughout the school year. If you or a friend are experiencing thoughts or urges to harm yourself or somebody else, please reach out to the following resources: In an emergency, please don't hesitate to call CAPS at any time, including "after hours" at (919) 966-3820. Ask to speak to the advice nurse and tell them you are a Duke student. You may also call the Trevor Project, a national hotline specifically for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer and questioning youth (college students included). Their number is 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).

1 comment:

  1. @#3 - I don't think it's appropiate or true to say it always gets better. Life CHANGES. We are usually not in the same space/mood/situation 100% of our lives. However it is not "always" getting "better"-there will be change. No one here can predict what that change will look like.

    -becarefulof"it gets better"/no assumptions