April 12, 2010

Anonymous Posts

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

You guys!

This week we had a blog meeting, and tons of people came! It was pretty much The Most Fun and We've got lots in store for the rest of the semester.

Also! I have to plug the production of RENT here at Duke because I am responsible for keeping you up to date with Duke LGBT news. And this is Duke LGBT news because duh. The production is nothing short of amazing, and we were all blown away. I'm going again next weekend, come with me!

Anyhow. We got one anonymous post this week!

I have the most traditional values. I am a Black female who has been straight all her lives with straight friends and straight boyfriends. I have memories of experiences with 2 girls from my childhood. I am so attracted to other women that even talking about 2 girls kissing gets me so aroused.. it's not the same when I discuss heterosexual couples. Nobody I'm friends with would ever think I was anything but straight. But the truth is, I'm questioning. I don't know if I want a relationship with another woman, or how I'd handle it, but God knows that I really want to FUCK another woman. I put up an ad on Craigslist for someone like me... and I can't wait till I find her... so I can experience bliss: my dream of having sex with another woman using a strap-on.

[Ed. Note: Oh, hey, #1. I think all I can offer is to be careful on Craigslist. It can be kind of sketch. But so long as you stay safe, by all means you do you.]


  1. I just want to let you know that there are other women out there interested in what you're interested in. I'm in a committed relationship and I love both black women and strap-ons. I hope that your search goes well.

  2. #1 - I think you bring up some really interesting ideas when you describe your background of growing up in a largely hetero-normative world. [Quick plug: Try the Center! It's not hetero-normative!] As for other parts of our world, yes, it's frustrating, and I can completely relate.

    You mentioned that none of your friends would ever think you're "anything but straight". Hey, I can totally relate there. Every time I come out to someone, they're surprised. Only one of my friends "got the hunch" and she's just that amazing. =)

    But I hope that doesn't stop you. Do you feel that they wouldn't suspect because of your traditional values, and lack of stereotypical behaviors? Well, do we even all want to conform to that? I would say no-we couldn't, even if we tried. LGBT stands for a community, not a stereotype. Maybe you coming out would change a lot of people's views on these issues. Did you ever realize that maybe you're the impactful change our society needs? =) That's really empowering! :D

    Lastly, you mentioned also that you kind of just want to "do it". I can't speak for you, (only you can do that), but I know that I wouldn't feel comfortable with anonymous sex because I would want to practice safe sex, both emotionally and physically. "You do you", as Chris said, but at the same time, take care of you too. =)

  3. So this has generated some conversation in the Center. I think there are definitely some double standards when we talk about anonymous sex. I also think that this blog has (so far) been lacking some direct and honest communication about sex in general. It is important that we don't ignore this side to our community. As others have mentioned, practicing safe sex is a good habit to get into--and unfortunately it seems as if women with women safe sex doesn't get talked about enough.

    But it also seems like you don't really want advice on how to have safe sex. It seems like you want to have sex, and that you've already taken steps to making that happen. To piggyback on what Veronica said, these people are out there. If you live in a heteronormative world, I would first and foremost encourage you to begin meeting those with a different sexuality than what you've been used to. In fact, there is a Women Loving Women meeting this Thursday if you'd like to meet some of us. (Info is on the LGBT Center website).

    I do want to support your honesty and clarity in knowing what you want. That's a quality I definitely appreciate in a woman, or in anyone for that matter. Good luck on your search!

  4. HOT HOT HOT. It seems to me that you know a lot about yourself. And I guess my response will be a little different from those above... I'm glad you're going for what you want. And I want to offer the opinion that you don't have to 'change' your identity or anything of the nature if that doesn't feel right or natural to you. You can fuck women in your spare time, have some of the hottest sex ever, and return to your friends and the rest of your everyday "straight" experience if that's what works for you. It may not- a lot of people feel the burden of hiding something and need to have a coherent 'out' identity, but there are people who like to have kinky or same-sex sex and treat that as a completely separate sphere. There's nothing wrong with either of these approaches. You can have as much or as little connection to an LGBTQ identity or community as you want.

    Have fun =) I'm pretty confident that you'll figure out the right balance for you- you're quite a go-getter! Its pretty refreshing to hear someone talk so frankly about what they want on this blog, I'm lovin it.

  5. I agree with all of the above comments. It's completely up to you how connected you ever want to be with the LGBTQ community and whether or not you ever feel inclined to identify. It's no biggie. Like others have said, just be you and take your time doing what you need to and what makes you feel comfortable. I would just reiterate being careful about being safe while doing so(both through safe sex and being fully knowledgeable about anyone you might meet on Craigslist). :)