July 12, 2010

Anonymous Posts

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

Before he left, Chris Purcell made me the administrator for the Duke Center for LGBT Life Facebook page. This is a WEIGHTY, overwhelming position that I nonetheless humbly accept. I'm down.

But currently there are only 139 fans? Huh, Community? Let's put this in perspective:

Sarah Palin: 1,858,320 fans
Toby Keith: 342,783 fans
Homework: 35,461 fans
UNC Chapel Hill: 39,006 fans
Carpe Noctem Quarterly: 128 fans

Get it? You get it. We can all do better. Join here.

Aaand anonymous posts, y'all.

"Bilakoro" - In the Wolof language of West Africa, it literally means un-purified but has come to be a slur for uncircumcised women. Some of the reasons for perpetuating the practice of female genital mutilation is the belief that being a "bilakoro" is incompatible with being clean and healthy, feminine and beautiful, modern and sexually healthy.

I didn't really understand this train of thought, but circumcision (both for males and females) has been a contentious issue for me all my life. I've become so comfortable, almost proud, of being an uncircumcised male, realizing once I became sexually active that I was in the minority among American white males.

That being said, in every sexual encounter I've had with a circumcised male, there has been quite a little outward surprise with my uncut penis. It never really had an effect on me, but last week, I had a one-night stand with an (uncircumcised) male who, hopefully jokingly, expressed disgust and racial superiority about circumcision. He made it seem as if uncircumcised penises only belonged on men of color, that he was somehow better because of his cut penis. He said it was dirty and weird.

Now, I'm not trying to say that I know what it feels like to be an un-mutilated woman in a society where FGM is the norm and I'm not trying to make a direct comparison between FGM and male circumcision performed by an American doctor (at least not today), but for that moment and in the days since I felt like a bilakoro. A part of my body that I was comfortable with, even proud of, became stigmatized and racialized.

This is the only time something like this has ever happened to me, and I can only hope that it is uncommon, but I just can't believe that such a backwards way of thinking can still exist among seemingly smart, "with-it", college-educated men.

Exciting News!!! (link)

i wonder if it's a good idea to date a woman on a different, but close, campus? Keeping things in the Duke, State, UNC triangle i mean. hmm... thoughts?



  1. Louis CK is one of my favorite stand-up comedians. His unabashed honesty on many issues (especially on how dumb children are) is really funny.

    But this is wayyyyyyyyyyyyy off. I mean, acting alone is atrocious, but this forced, misguided dialogue just misses the point. smh.

    And what's worse is that some are treating this as a victory? Uh.


  2. #1:I hope it's uncommon too... I'm going to assume that you didn't know a whole lot about your one night stand (seeing as he was such) but I reckon that he's a tool. Even college educated people can have serious personal flaws like that, it just depends on how they were raised.

    Always be proud of your differences, no matter what. It is all a part of your bigger persona, and I always maintain that I'd rather be accepted for all that I am than accepted for everything but "one little thing."

  3. Hi Community! I'm the person who wrote #1, and I just wanted to clarify one thing that I realize I mis-wrote. This one-night stand was with a circumcised man, not an uncircumcised man. Not that it really makes that big of a difference, but I just wanted to be as clear as possible. Thanks!

  4. Response to the responder: Swati, I loved your quote about "Always be proud of your differences...I'd rather be accepted for all that I am than accepted for everything but "one little thing." This is so great! =)

    #1- your last line really made me smile. good for you! I'm excited that you took pride in this.

    #3- 'm pretty interested in this comment. I could be misinterpreting your comment, but it seems like you might be suggesting that it is easier to date outside of Duke than within it. I'd be interested to hear more about what you have to say...and if it has to do with reasons relating to being LGBT, being at Duke, or a combination of the two. (Shamless plug-consider expanding on this in an article to Womyn?) It'd be fascinating to hear more of your perspective though, regardless of where you decide to discuss it. =)

  5. It is funny how some Americans are ignorant of the fact that the vast majority of white guys on the planet are actually uncircumcised. Circumcision is this dirty little American fetish that needs to stop because it violates your right to your own body. Type 'penis' into wikipedia and it shows you a normal penis, not a circumcised one. More expectant parents need to Google or YouTube circumcision or foreskin so they aren't peer pressured into robbing their son of his full sexuality at birth.

  6. Number one, this is a very interesting issue...I am writing this in a cyber cafe in a country where homosexuality is illegal, sooooo I am pretty much putting my LIFE on the line...just kidding...anyway here it goes.

    In America, it is true, circumcision is seen as a right of the privileged and wealthy. You will find in cities more men are circumcised, while those who come from rural areas are not...that of course, is a generalization, and there are plenty of both in both areas.

    On that note, it is not only an American thing to find uncricumcised members to be related to poverty and race (see bathroom shower scene in Y Tu Mama Tambien for a Mexican reference, for instance). However, yes, in most parts of the world, including Europe, it is very much the norm to be uncircumcised, and circumcised men are in fact, looked down upon...soooo, move to Europe?

    In actuality, you will always have things about you that others don't like or perhaps, that you don't like yourself. But like you said, you like who you are, own it, and if someone judges you for a piece of anatomy that you are BORN with...then fuck em. I have overheard plenty of people say how gross it is to be uncircumcised (i am circumcised myself), and it is a stigma that needs to be removed (also, there was an article in newsweek i believe that said less than 50% of male babies would be circumcised by around 2012...there are many movements, including reform Jewish movement, that are against circumcising children as it denies the person a right to their own body. I'm happy as a circumcised male, but i'm sure I'd also be happy with my parts intact. (althouh, on a side note, there are many movements in africa to circumcise children because you are 4x less likely to contract HIV, perhaps the biggest reason why I'd want my child to be circumcised)

    Now on a personal note, I have never been with someone uncircumcised...but I await the day. I am interested to see what that experience will be like :) enjoy! hope this was helpful

  7. ^ Anonymous, I would also point to HOOP as a leader in this movement.