August 1, 2011

Anonymous Posts (7.25.11-7.31.11)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks, hate speech, or express or insinuate that one is at risk for hurting themselves or someone else. Please read this for an explanation of this policy and seek help if your or a friend find yourself in that position. With those exceptions aside, please feel free to submit your thoughts and questions. :)

Wazzup? This past week I went on a camping/creek saving excursion with a brief detour to the Great Sand Dunes and Zapata Falls. Such a good time. Have you ever seen 100 square miles of sand dunes!?!

Our second set of campers are leaving today, along with a bunch of staff. Our community is breaking up, which I guess is a little like the end of the school year. We have a third and final session of kids arriving on Wednesday and then I'll be home/Duke bound! SO EXCITED!

Hello all. My aunt works for Visa and recently shared this video made by Visa in support of the Trevor Project. Even as a straight woman at Duke, I found it incredibly moving and inspirational, and I just wanted to share it somewhere it might be seen by someone who needs it. Feel free to pass it along :

Onion article Mom and Dad I'm Gay and Also Stronger than Both of You

I'm in an open relationship by distance. It's been this way the entire time we've been dating, which has been over a year now. He goes out of his way to do thoughtful things and say he misses me when we're apart, and we're planning on finally living together about six months from now. My problem, though, is that it's actually come close to driving me crazy before, trying to fall asleep on nights when I know he's with another guy. He has a way of getting into, beyond just fuck buds, what he considers real friendships with sex involved. I don't have a problem finding guys to hook up with myself, but unlike him, it's rare that I actually enjoy sex outside the relationship, and even rarer that I meet a guy I actually want to spend time with. I've said this to him many times, and he's been sensitive up to this point. I don't know how to talk about jealousy with him though. He's been impatient about the subject when I've brought it up in the past, and I'm worried about pushing him away. He's told me that relationships of mine have made him jealous in the past, but based on the way he expresses it, I don't know if he experiences the feelings as strongly as I do. Tonight, for example, he mentioned in a text that he had driven to a city 80 miles away to spend time with a guy he'd been emailing. I want to give him space, since he complains to no end about being lonely when we're not together. But I wonder if he knows how much effort it took for me to say "have a good time" and try to put it out of my mind.

Can I just say how awesome UCLA is for doing this? Now, if only Brodhead, the Duke administration, and the Duke community could make a statement as bold as UCLA's chancellor's and the rest of their community.

Please remember that there are a number of resources available on campus and in the local community. These resources are available over summer, too! If you or a friend are experiencing thoughts or urges to harm yourself or somebody else, please reach out to the following resources: In an emergency, please don't hesitate to call CAPS at any time, including "after hours" at (919) 966-3820. Ask to speak to the advice nurse and tell them you are a Duke student. You may also call the Trevor Project, a national hotline specifically for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer and questioning youth (college students included). Their number is 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).

1 comment:

  1. 3 - Sounds like you're in a tough place. I've been in an open relationship, but due to choice, rather than distance. To my mind, the reason I could say "have fun!" and mean it, is because I know exactly where I stood with my sweetie. I tend to feel that jealousy is really just insecurity about the primary relationship, but transferred on to another party.

    In other words, jealousy is a warning sign that there's something not too solid about your relationship. In your situation, I'd try being monogamous for a little while to work things out. Hopefully you'll be able to feel really secure about who you're coming home to, and then going out with other people should be more fun. (Coming home from a great date and gushing to a partner is awesome.) But it may also be that you're always going to want monogamy, which is equally valid.

    I love nonmonogamy. I could never be monogamous. But it's not for everyone. And sadly, it's about as hard to compromise on as sexuality. If you ever want to talk, my netid is leg9. I wish you the best of luck.