A Queer Survival Guide to Duke University
Well first year queers (gayby’s? queerby’s? q-frosh? We
should work on thinking of a cute name for queer first years) first and
foremost, I am absolutely delighted to welcome you to the Duke family. You’re
in for four years of excitement, confusion, frustration, anticipation,
fabulosity, learning, and fun. As a senior, former President of Blue Devils
United, and current Vice President of Equity and Outreach for Duke Student
Government, I’ve been around the block a few times, so I wanted to provide you
with some quick advice on how to survive at Duke as a member of the queer
community. Here are a few tips.
1.
Know that
there is no such thing as “the Duke Queer Experience”: Our community is
vast at Duke, and everyone experiences this place differently. For many people,
particularly gender conforming gay white men (although this category itself can
be problematic and rife with discrepancies), Duke can be pretty great. There
are tons of queer people at Duke who feel completely welcome here from the day
that they set foot on campus and never experience any form of marginalization.
If that’s your experience, that’s fantastic! Just try to keep in mind that many
queer people at Duke still feel very marginalized, alone, isolated, etc. There
is no way to define “what it means to be queer” at Duke. Trust me, I’ve tried.
2.
Know that
you’re welcome everywhere, even though it won’t always feel like it: In
your first few weeks of school the heterosexuality of campus can be absolutely
overwhelming. I remember my first Duke party during orientation week. People
were totally cool with the fact that I was gay, but I still felt pretty alone
because heterosexuality was blantantly and unapologetically the norm. This is
not true of all parties at Duke by any stretch (#roundtable #brownstone #nexus
#ubuntu #pegram #coffeehouse
#you’llunderstandthesehashtagswithinthreeweeksIpromise), but it is of a
significant portion of them. When you encounter those spaces, it may feel
lonely at first, but there are always other queer people there. I promise.
3.
Know that
Duke can be terrible: While Duke has made great progress towards being a
queerer campus in the past few years, it’s not perfect. As a queer person, you
may have some awful experiences here. When I was a first year, I hung my
rainbow flag out of my window in my dorm and proceeded to have it torn down on
three different occasions. Because Duke can be terrible, don’t be shy about
reaching out to others when you need support. The Center for Sexuality and
Gender Diversity can be a great resource, CAPS is vital, and a good group of
friends helps too.
4.
Know that
the queer community, like any community, isn’t perfect: At Duke, not all
queer people get along. Not all queer people even identify as queer. As a
gender non-conforming person, there are some people even within the queer
community who don’t like the way that I dress. There’s drama that can fracture
things, especially on a small campus. There can be rifts between activists and
non-activists. We have a robust and healthy community here, but it has its
flaws.
5.
Don’t
hold too strongly to identities:
You are queer, and that is great, but please don’t think that’s all that you
have to be. You are never reducible entirely to your queer identity, no matter
how important it is to you. Branch out beyond just those in the queer
community, because straight allies are plentiful and incredible at Duke.
6.
For the
love of God, be an activist: Note here that I didn’t say be a queer activist (although you should
consider it). As a queer person, you don’t have to do all of your work around
queer issues, but please please please be engaged in social justice issues
during your time on campus. After all, the
white-supremacapialist-heteropatriarchy won’t overthrow itself.
7.
Know that
you’re indebted to people you don’t even know: Duke hasn’t always been a
great place for queer people (be on the lookout later for more activism about
queer history on campus!), and it has only changed as a campus because of
people who came generations of students before you. The first queer group on
campus started in 1971, and since then, hundreds of people have worked to make
Duke the school that it is for queer people today. Never forget how much you
owe them, and never take your community for granted.
8.
Lastly,
keep your head up, no matter what anyone says.
I can’t tell you how excited I am to meet each and every one
of you. If you see me walking around campus, please say hello, introduce yourself, and let me know something
cool about you. I may only be here for another year, and I might be a little
bit busy with my senior thesis, but you should know that the day you set foot
on campus, you already have at least
one queer friend in me.
With love and solidarity,
Jacob
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