May 2, 2011

Fairy Tales

UM. Long time no talk, Readers. Risa has been doing a great job since she took over about a month ago. It's actually been pretty easy giving over control of This Blog that had been part of my daily routine for a year and a half knowing that it's in such good hands. I mean, there've been moments:

Me: "That disclaimer at the end of every anonymous posts post is a really smart idea but kind of long, Risa."
Risa: "Really? I disagree."

And that's that. Haha. But if that's the biggest complaint I have a month in, I think This'll be alright :)

I've been focusing on, uh, graduating on time. It's been rough, y'all. But I'm also, like every other senior, realizing that my time left here is minimal and assessing what I have yet to do. And since I finally went inside Biddle last week, my biggest thing now is that I've never written a real post on this site.

That is kind of weird! That is kind of weird. I mean, I've written close to 90 posts, but they weren't very personal (as impassioned as my outing of Bert and Ernie was). I've watched 38 (!) other columnists share their thoughts and experiences since November 2009. And they've gotten rrreeeaaallll while I've just sort of complained about Steel.

So that's my goal for the next two weeks or so. My story is far from The Most Compelling, but maybe it'll resonate with someone. Who knows. But if you know me, you know that I can't fit all of It in one post, so I'll just start with this one.

* * * * *

In the summer of 2009, Carpe Noctem, Duke's comedy magazine, came out of dormancy and I was asked to write something for it. I wrote the following piece on my childhood (and quickly mocked up this layout) and sent it in, only to get it back with about 4,000 edits. Meh. I'm not very good at being edited, so I just rescinded the thing and it's been sitting on my computer since. (If you've ever read Carpe Noctem, you also know that my story wasn't nearly sexist, homophobic, racist or transphobic enough to fit in anyway, amiright?)

Click to enlarge:

I guess while I'm at it I might as well post this video, because it fits in with the story. I was one of the first grandchildren born in our huge Italian family and they just loved putting me in front of a camera. This is another great example of classical conditioning, where I'm not quite The Gayest Thing yet (I'm three? four? years old) and there's still a bit of straight in me (see: Power Ranger moves, gun miming) but I'm discouraged from expressing it. "Are you gonna sing or what?"

I feel as if it is important for me to say that my mother is my best friend no doyoyoyoy and no matter how much of a pageant mother she sounds on this video or how much I tease, she really is The Greatest. She drove down here from LI for Lav Grad, y'all. That's love. And pretty fuckin awesome.

I literally can't even watch this video anymore, haha. Let this be a big thanks to Everyone for so courageously baring themselves on This Blog for the past year and a half :)


  1. This entire thing made me laugh, continuously. Really, the magnets... lmao.
    The video was cute! All of your faux Mariah Carey screaming (can you hit those notes irl? :P) didn't fail in making me smile; which I really needed after my final exam today.

    I sat behind your mom at Lav Grad, and I can tell she really loves you. I was super touched by how emotional she was getting. :P

    Anyways, thanks for sharing this!

  2. It's a picture of you coming out of the coset!! <3

  3. We're gonna miss you Topher.

  4. i laughed so hard i cried. that was great!

    if you don't mind answering...when did you come out (to yourself or others)?

  5. Just saying, after this, I also just had a vision of love. This video is, as you would say --The Best Ever.

    Same with the story, but I've also read it before =)

    Prepare yourself, I'll be making that gun gesture at you when I see you. Too cute.

  6. I love that you're in a picture behind you (as a baby) with a hat on. The hat has always been a staple. I respect that.