August 20, 2012

Anonymous Posts (8.13.12-8.19.12)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks, hate speech, or express or insinuate that one is at risk for hurting themselves or someone else. Please read this for an explanation of this policy and seek help if your or a friend find yourself in that position. With those exceptions aside, please feel free to submit your thoughts and questions. :)

Well, the beginning of the Fall Semester is right around the corner, and so LGBTQA Life on campus is starting off with some programming very soon. This Sunday the Center for LGBT Life will be holding its orientation reception. If you're around campus for that, be sure to come for some food, fun, and friends. Then that Thursday, August 30, the LGBT Center will be hosting OUTstravanganza together with Blue Devils United on East Campus. This event will be a lot of fun with ice cream and music right inside marketplace. What more could you want? 

Now, notes from OC:

I'm out of an open relationship, and it's such a relief. We were together three years; I had fallen in love with him right away; but looking back on it, I can't get over the arrogance that came with his thoughts on non-monogamy, or the things I would put up with for the sake of accomodating his self-described "dominant" personality. Like, EVERY DAY he would find a reason to criticize monogamous/"straight-conforming" couples, and he was seriously incapable of walking past a guy who was his "type" (I, despite being his "love," was not) without eyeing him up and making some comment. If I would get into a funk, and ADMIT to him that I was jealous of someone, the anger and criticism I got in response was insane. "WHAT?" "Why don't you understand that my 'type' doesn't have to do with love?" "Why are you trying to control me?" "If you love me why do you want to limit what I do?" "This is how gays men date." And, maybe most annoyingly, "Why are you making this a big deal?" Don't get me wrong, I understand why (most) of these points can make sense in the right context. But at the same time, don't get on a soap box and preach. It drove me crazy how he would turn sluttiness into a bonafide virtue. No, I am not overjoyed to hear everyday that you love fucking short blonde boys, and no, that does not make my love inferior. We did have a good relationship in some regards, at some times. But damn, am I glad the jealousy/discomfort/shame/awkwardness/etc are finally over. It's hard to put just how good it feels to simply say, "Open dating is not for me." I feel like I wanna go to Disneyland.

Please remember that there are a number of resources available on campus and in the local community. resources are available over breaks and throughout the school year. If you or a friend are experiencing thoughts or urges to harm yourself or somebody else, please reach out to the following resources: In an emergency, please don't hesitate to call CAPS at any time, including "after hours" at (919) 966-3820. Ask to speak to the advice nurse and tell them you are a Duke student. You may also call the Trevor Project, a national hotline specifically for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer and questioning youth (college students included). Their number is 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).


  1. yay good for you!! ^^

  2. to me an open relationship has always seemed invalidating, like i'm not good enough to deserve your sole, undivided attention. call me traditional, but i think you made the right move. you go to disneyland :)