February 8, 2010

Anonymous Posts

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

At the moment I am sitting in my concrete class, which is a real class that I am taking in real life. I am the only one with a computer open and there is really no legitimate reason why I would need my laptop, but I feel as if the professor and I have a mutual understanding where we both agree that this lecture is about concrete and I am any human with an attention span.

Anyhow! You all met my challenge to send something in this week, which is so awesome. These are some really interesting posts, too. The Community's girls are certainly stepping up :)

I've been out to everyone in the universe as a lesbian since I was 15, but yesterday I came out to one of my friends for the first time... as possibly trans. I was so terrified and miserable leading up to it, but she was amazing, and I woke up this morning feeling happier than I have in years. I feel like I want to tell everyone!

I can't, of course, for a lot of reasons. First off, I'm not even sure what I'd be coming out AS. I still have trouble figuring out where I've going. All I know is that things as they stand aren't right. I've been binding while I do my homework in my room, and last week I even ate dinner with friends boob-free. With my friend to support me now, I think I can cut my hair soon. Every step I take is so exhilarating!

I just wish there wasn't this undercurrent of terror. Most of my friends already thought I was weird as a lesbian. And I wish I didn't feel like I was making everything up as I went along. I can't be the only one! Right? Where is everybody?

[Ed. Note: Wow, this is pretty much the coolest thing. Thanks for sharing! The trans community is severely underrepresented, and we don't here from them nearly enough. I think we all are undereducated on trans issues (if you haven't watched this yet, do so now). You cannot be the only one, you're right, and hopefully Everybody shows up in the comments section below. Keep us posted on everything!]

I've identified as a bisexual girl/woman for years--out to my parents, out to my friends, happy to argue with strangers about LGBT issues, everything. But I've only been in relationships with men. I'm about to enter into another one (I think?), and I can't help feeling like I'm somehow betraying the community. I don't know what to do about this guilt.

[Ed. Note: Thanks for the entry, Anonymous. I think that people who identify as bisexual or feel that they don't fit into the much-accepted binary model of sexuality aren't heard from enough, either. I don't think that you should feel guilty at all, and you should simply do whatever feels right (look at Captain Obvious Advice over here). Whuddya have to say about this, Readers?


  1. A Friendly StrangerFebruary 8, 2010 at 12:50 PM

    Both of these posts are very empowering. Although you may not see it this way, both you are strong, independent individuals! You are who you are, regardless if there is a strange vocal concoction (a word) to describe you.

    Humans are so obsessed with labeling and defining EVERYTHING, and to be truthful, nothing (and noone) truly fits any mold. It is comforting to us, as humans, to be able to define ourselves. I identify as brunette, even though I have a few blonde streaks. I identify as kind, even though I say mean things to my family when I get upset. I identify as honest, even though I am guilty of the occassional white lie. I identify as straight, even though I would totally hook up with Shakira if I had the opportunity (she moves her body in such mysterious ways!). Nothing is concrete.

    I urge you both to continue on your paths of being you! Try not to get mixed up in the language of it all, and just do what you feel is right! You have both already made brave steps for youself, being who you are with family, friends, strangers and, most importantly, to youselves. #1 - rock on and 'do your thang!' I sincerely hope every morning is as liberating and happy as the one before! #2 - being who you are is not about keeping a tally and evening the score, you love who you love, like who you like, and feel what you feel to find genuine happiness! In your case, this happiness does not come with a predetermined sex or gender label - so like #1, just 'do your thang' and live your life the way you'd like!!

  2. #1 - I just hope you know that as a member of this community, I support you and am standing behind you.

    #2 - I think the 1st commenter said it best-just be you, and the rest of the labels can be ignored. ;)

  3. #1--I think your courage is admirable. And I'm so happy for you that your friend was supportive and embracing.