December 7, 2009

Anonymous Posts

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

You totally stepped it up this week with the anonymous posts, Readers. Good work all around!

But don't forget that we also have a responsibility to respond to our anonymous contributors! See you in the comments :)

"They Don't Understand"

They don't understand the injustice they cause
Nor do they mind passing unequal laws.
They don't understand the sadness they create
Nor do they see that what they're spreading is hate.
They don't understand that their vote matters
Nor do they care about the lives it shatters.
They don't understand the lies they tell
Nor do they realize we're not going to hell.
They don't understand the reason we fight
Nor do they know of the anger they incite.
O God I pray
That you show them the way
Because I am gay
And it's okay.

[Ed. Note: Oh hai, ORIGINAL POEM. Best. Readership. Ever.]

Absolutely amazing video by one senator during the vote in the NY Senate.

[Ed. Note: This video definitely made its way around the interwebs since this anonymous poster sent this in to us and we've already posted it before, but it's totally worth putting up again (see: "duh"). Let's all share about how many times we said "yes!" the first [eight] times we watched this. Tell her, Artie:

As I'm getting older, and closer to graduation and the real world, I've been thinking a lot about the possibility of having a family in a few years time. This raises conflicting emotions in me - as a gay male, obviously I won't be able to have children of my own with my partner, the child will only be biologically related to one of the fathers. There is, of course adoption - there're far too many kids out there without homes and families right now. I'm not really sure how I feel about all this, I'm not sure I'd make a good father, or that I'd be able to provide the right environment for a kid growing up.

What I want to know is, how do all of you in the openly lgbt community feel about this issue?

[Ed. Note: This is most definitely a topic that we've all thought about, right? Right. Let's throw a Comment Party for this one.]

I stumbled upon this website today (literally, = AMAZING). Anyways, the picture shows a fantastic campaign that promotes AIDS awareness and prevention in a super creative way. This was done in Rio Grande do Sul in Brazil, and they totally have the right idea.

Check it out [here].

translation: "Take your condom and help in the fight against AIDS" - as more people take condoms, AIDS begins to disappear. Genius? Absolutely.

[Ed. Note: Great find! It is difficult to inspire us desensitized Millennials, and it is always interesting to see the amazing [by necessity, almost] campaigns that Good organizations come up with.]


  1. in response to #3, that's why we have fag hags. (they don't know it, but the only reason we keep them around is for their childbearing skillset).

  2. #1&2: Thanks so much for sharing. The poem was moving, as was the video. I sent the video out to my family, but I still get the feeling some of them will never change their minds (after a couple of four-hour talks with my sister and brother-in-law, he said something to the effect of, "Well, personally I still don't believe it's not a choice." I was livid and just ... what's the point after that? Why keep wasting my time on them?)

    #3: I certainly have similar feelings--I'm not sure my genetic material is really worthy of being passed on, honestly, but even more so, sometimes I get a little emotional about it. Accepting that I wouldn't be able to live what I saw as the American dream was one of the hardest things for me when I came out.

    #4: It's certainly a striking campaign, and while I understand that simplifications are sometimes necessary to get the point across, I'm just a little bit concerned about the specific message, because condoms might help prevent the spread of HIV, but they won't get rid of AIDS, which is more or less what this is saying... but I'm a literalist.

  3. to quote matt, I have to agree that I have some reservations about having kids too: "I'm not sure if my genetic material is completely worth to pass on.." etc. I think I have reservations just in general, but mainly because I'm lesbian. But it has a lot to do with career aspirations too.

    So right now in my life, I think I won't have kids unless my partner desires them. In which case, I will fully and whole-heartedly ENJOY raising them with her and loving them with my all. =)

  4. Well, considering all the straight people who reproduce left and right, I really don't think you should be worrying about the quality of your genetic material or your parenting abilities. As long as you love your kids, you'll learn to be a good parent. If not, there are books about it ;)

  5. what's with the self abusive banter about genetic worth? if you made it into duke, you're at least intelligent. get over yourselves and grow a pair.

  6. Agreed, there are *much* dumber and less worthy people out there who have kids. Providing a good upbringing for a kid is far more dependent on the character and nature of the parent than their sexual orientation.

  7. Good points all around :). I guess--if I end up in a long-term committed relationship someday, I'm definitely going to be open to adoption. I guess that's how I see it happening, if I do become a parent.

    I guess I would just want to have a very good understanding of how I want parenting to fit into what I want to accomplish during my life. I know it will change me in more ways than I can predict or account for, but I don't want it to become my sole purpose--I want to stay focused on the other things I want to accomplish and not lose sight of them. And, honestly, I'm sort of worried about that--maybe it's so many suburban housewives that I see (or media images of them) who don't seem to have goals or ideas of what they want to accomplish besides raising good kids. And I'm not even saying that's a bad thing--if you want to have an amazing family, that's great--but from my point of view, you should just be sure that that's what you want before you enter into it.

    I guess I'm really shooting for a moving target, because I'm trying to not involve emotion in an inherently emotional decision-making process. But I want to know exactly why I want to raise children and what my other goals in that process are before ever I attempt to do it.

  8. #3: Thanks for your thoughts. I'm an alum and have thought about this quite a bit. There are 107 million orphaned children in the world. 6 million children die each year of starvation. YOU could make a huge difference in the lives of some of those children through adoption. What a beautiful thing that could be! I see that not passing on your specific genes may feel difficult, but remember that (depending on how you calculate) we all are ~99.9% alike in our DNA. Humans have remarkably low genetic diversity overall as a species. The world will not lose that much by your not passing on your genes, but some children in need could gain the world by your adopting them.

  9. but if he doesn't pass on his genes, he may very well be contributing to the extinction of homosexuals. wouldn't want that on your conscious.

  10. as a gay female, I don't think I would want kids unless my partner did. Right now there are a lot of other goals I have that would conflict.

    To get back to the question asked, being gay presents extra challenges and blessings to the child rearing proess. Your kid is probably going to grow up to be really tolerant which is awesome. As for being specifically gay parents, it's good to keep in mind that kids love their parents. Period. It takes a lot to screw that up. They're generally accepting and loving of their parents. All that matters is that we provide unconditional love and support.

    As for being gay (lesbian) and how that all plays in for us, I see it as a challenge in that one parent is perhaps related to the child but the other is not. I'd personally want my partner to be the one to be related to the kid; simply because I want to see my kids be related to the woman I love. I think that would be really special.

    I hope you arent't worrying about this too much though! It's a blessing we can even HAVE conversations like this, where in a lot of countries this still isnt possible. Good luck!

  11. #3 It's a very important issue to be educated on. Granted--there aren't many undergrads who are thinking about having kids yet, but I went to the Equality North Carolina conference a few weeks ago and went to the info session on adoption. The laws are very complex, and within each state they vary by county. When it comes to adoption issues, it seems to get very messy...and even more complex if the couple doesn't stay together. Anyway, I would encourage anyone who is looking to settle down and buy/rent a house/apt and start a family to research the issues that are important to you because they would surely have a lasting impact on your quality of life.

    Educate yourselves always! That's the most important thing you can do to make informed life decisions.