January 18, 2010

Anonymous Posts

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

Welcome back, Everyone! It's been so great to get back into the swing of things.

Of course the new semester means blog meetings and the relaunch of our site. Our first meeting will be tomorrow (Tuesday, January 18) at 9pm in Kilgo J216 (my room!). As always, there will be cookies. Everyone's welcome!

Also, the blog will relaunch (sort of! We were never really unlaunched) this Monday, January 25.

I'm a little late in posting the anonymous entries today, forgive me. Summer chastised me plenty on behalf of the entire Readership, so don't worry.

This isn't very personal and therefore doesn't need to be anonymous, but I wasn't sure how else to submit it. I've heard people talk about bromance before, but coming across a facebook group entitled "Petition to Make Bromance a Relationship Status on Facebook" made me think about it differently. I'm wondering how members of the LGBT and Ally community feel about the word. To me, it seems like another "no homo" deal. It's not overtly homophobic--that is, it's not like calling someone "the f word", or refusing to be friends with someone who is gay, or not hiring someone for a job because of their sexual orientation--but it still doesn't feel right to me. Anytime guys feel the need to proclaim their heterosexuality--lest they be assumed to be gay--it seems like a slap in the face. Why can't two guys be best friends or really care about each other without adding the disclaimer that "we're straight" (which is what bromance does, in my opinion)? I hope I've articulated this well. I could go on, but really I'd like to hear what some other readers/writers of this blog have to say. I posed the question, about whether bromance was homophobic, to a few friends today and they didn't flat out reject my idea that maybe it was but they weren't really convinced either. As a community who is more in tune with the subtleties of homophobia (you know, we recognize that "no homo" or "that's so gay" is actually homophobic whereas the general public may not): what do you say?

[Ed. Note: Hey, good question. I'll reserve opinion, but I will say that Duke itself is the probably the birthplace of the bromance and I can think of few other campuses that could better comment on the broculture.]

Great website that contains inspiring Coming-Out stories: http://iwanttheworldtoknow.org/

[Ed. Note: This is really cool and well done! Hopefully we can keep our own coming out story feature going this semester :)]


  1. As far as the "no homo lol", I've actually seen that posted online at places such as Facebook between my friends. As a LGBT identified person, I have to admit, for some uncontrollable reason, seeing "no homo lol" actually did make me a little sad. It seems silly, right? But I did find that it hurt, because I thought these were forward-thinking friends who wouldn't feel the need to add that kind of after-comment. But they weren't.

    It may have been just the hurt of being let down in my expectations of my friends than the term itself actually, now that I think about it. But what it implies-"don't worry", I'm not gay...well, the "don't worry" implies being gay is something to worry about. And it shouldn't be. :-/

  2. I've asked people when hearing it what it means about them that they feel the need to say "no homo". I never really get a response. Just awkwardness.

    And weirdly, I'm actually fond of the term "bromance" because whereas "no homo" might be said in a situation where guys might talk about how much they care about each other to deny any sort of homo anything, it seems like "bromance" acknowledges and encourages close relationships between guys w/o the implication that one's sexuality might be threatened by being extremely connected to another guy...

    I'm not sure if I explained my take on it well but in short: to me, "no homo" belittles any kind of relationship between men. "bromance" embraces it.