January 25, 2010

Anonymous Posts

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

Aaaand we're back :) Today marks the beginning of the BDU Blog semester (a real thing in real life that appears on real calendars). We'll be back full force (and some!) with all of our columns and features. We've got a bunch of more people who have signed up to add to our already awesome staff, including three WOMEN. I think that few would argue that LGBTQ women are not largely undervisiblyrepresented on campus, so the XX point of view is something I really look forward to.

Anyhow! Let's get it started! (Topical! Because clearly it's 2004!) We only had one entry this week, but I'm guessing that now that we've RELAUNCHED the site for the semester, we'll get back up to our regular 3-4. Right? Right.

Alright BDU family: I had an awkward moment this week with my employer. I am usually honest if a person asks me about my sexuality, but I won't volunteer that information otherwise. I feel that it isn't something I need to proclaim. Tonight my boss hosted a bbq with some friends of his. I was the only person from the office that was invited. One of his friends brought his girlfriend and her friend. From the moment they arrived, I felt pressured to "talk" to her. She was flirting right and left. I didn't want to shut her down because she was a friend of the boss. Any similar experiences out there?

[Ed. Note: Thanks for the contribution! As someone who is constantly being flirted with, I completely empathize. It is a tough life we share, Anonymous. Hopefully the Readers will be able to share their own experiences!]

[EDIT: OH. Okay. I am one for full honesty and disclosure when it comes to mistakes I've made no matter HOW STUPID THEY ARE. So for some reason I thought that Anonymous was a gay female? Yeah. Really confusing when you see it from that (completely idiotic) angle. This is now an infinitely more relevant and interesting story. While I stand by my comments that people are ALWAYS FLIRTING WITH ME (UGH. Am I right?), I feel bad for having misunderstood.

With this in mind! When this does happen to me (in all seriousness this does happen sometimes) I am careful with how I return these signals. In general, I act like a complete idiot (something that we now know takes little pretending) that does not notice advances and just bite the bullet for however long. I think that how we treat our sexuality in the workplace is equally discussable; at what point do you get close enough to an employer or coworker that it's appropriate to come out?]


  1. Honestly, in a situation like this I find the best option to usually be to just shrug and nail her. Afterwards, don't call and your boss will just think you're a player. Not a bad thing. Good luck!

  2. Interesting edit - I assumed the writer was male but for no reason given in the post itself... Reading it as if the writer were female presents different kinds of social pressure to the whole thing.

  3. Why not drop hints that you're not currenty available? In other words, if she invites you somewhere afterwards or acts very friendly, she doesn't neccesarily need to know WHY, but just let her know that you're off limits to her. ;) Ideally you'd just tell her the truth (because I think being gay would be the easiest way to let her off), but if you're not comofortable saying something like, that you're involved with the LGBT center (which I think is a BIG hint), then I would just mention you're currently involved with someone or something else. She doesn't need to know that it's actually just a life-long love affair for the same sex. ;)