August 2, 2010

Anonymous Posts

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

It is August, y'all, which is pretty scaryexciting. This is my last week at the HRC before I return home to Long Island for a bit. I'll be at Duke the 18th for The Center staff retreat :) I spoke to Janie the other day, actually, and I can't wait to get started. She says they got tons and tons of applications to fill Chris' position (which is impossible, but w/e), and they'll start narrowing things down soon. I'm trusting you, Student Committee On This.

Another HRC intern sent me this article, "Disco-Ball Dresses and Spandex: A dispatch from transgender camp for kids" today. Hmm. I mean, wow! What a very cool, progressive camp! It is basically the movie Camp, just more comprehensible and without the worst character of all time, Ellen (I HATE Ellen, ugh). But as my friend puts it, "It's an interesting idea, though it's obvious that the author still sort of sees her child's being transgender a novelty ("her long-haired, cis-gendered (that means normal) sister" YIKES "she/he" OOPS etc.)." It is sort of cringing at parts. However, the author defends himself in the comments. VERY interesting.

Anyway. What a week on the blog, y'all. Whoa. The anonymous posts were very ! last week and matched in !ness by the comments. And then AJ was like, "let me write something that is awesome myself." And then he did.

Speaking of! With all the traffic this week I felt like it would be nice to quick see if new comments have been posted. (I get an email and if anyone else would like an email alert, let me know!) So I wrestled with code a bunch (and lost, for the most part) and came up with this widget on the sidebar. Meh? It'll do, I s'pose, for now. But anyhow! Just the heads up. It works.

Posts for this week!

Hello again! So lately I've been wondering why it seems in the "game of romance" everyone seems to want to play the part of the chased. We all seem to want to be the one being chased after by love sick others. We all wish that person we are secretly crushing on would do more than just smile at us in passing and I would be lying if I said I just take a chance when I find someone I'm interested in. In fact for the better part of my romantic, if you could even call it that, experience I have been the one who was too shy to say anything to my crushes. Even if I was able to build a semi-friendship type relationship with said crushes, it never got past that. Just recently, I did a little growing up and realized that love wasn't going to just appear out of the sky and knock me off my feet like I had believed for so long. I've decided to take a new, more bold approach, and can now honestly say that I am willing to make the first approach.

I guess I don't seem to have been going anywhere with most of this post but if you will allow me, I'll divulge what I believe is still wrong with my new found approach. I've realized that even when you stop playing the damsel in distress and you don your knight in shining armor outfit it may not get you far because your damsel, feminine or masculine as he/she maybe, in distress may be in wayyy more distress than your shiny armor can handle. I guess what I mean is that not only do we want to play the chased but we get so lost in this role that we are not willing to "give a dog a bone." Ok ok enough metaphors. What I'm saying is, I think we all need to try to be a little more straightforward in our approach to romance. You see that cute guy standing over there, ya the one you've been eyeing all night? Go over and introduce yourself. See the lovely lady sitting down reading that book you think is hot, get your own book and sit by her. More importantly, when all the awkwardness of first time meeting is said and done and you two crazy cats are chatting more and more and getting comfortable with each other, make sure you communicate where you are and what you're feeling and where you see "this thing" going.

It's been a long rant, thanks for staying for the ride if you did! The moral of the story is, or just my opinion, don't be afraid to put yourself out there; it may be the one thing keeping you from find your right person.

Whoops! I realize that my rant would be sorta contradictory if the whole thing was anonymous given the whole sieze the day attitude it took. With that said I'll sign this post as a means of standing firm with my post. ~Olamide


  1. Oh Olamide, I love you ever so much and you deserve a giant hug for this.

    I always find myself wanting to be the chased and always have to have that mental argument where I verify that nothing awful can come from being a little aggressive and going up to a guy I like. It's tough, but I think it's because I just really don't like to be rejected.

    I'll be playful and flirty with so many guys and never be remotely interested, but that guy that I barely ever talk to and who probably thinks that I hate him will be the one that I'm crushing the most on. What a crisis...All I can say is that being more vocal and going after what you want is something that will take a bit of self-coaching and I'll be more than happy to be there in order to push you toward that guy, physically or through words =)

  2. I HATE being chased. I prefer someone that doesn't necessarily "need" me. Don't get me wrong, I want them to like me (and I certainly do not want to get strung along), but when i feel chased i get turned off. I hate admitting this, but I like the challenge.

  3. being chased, chasing someone far as I'm concerned it's all amazing if they're the right person for you. also, I think a good balance with one person participating in both sides of that equation signals a healthy relationship.

  4. i feel like i could never just approach someone with out for sure knowing their sexuality

  5. I've told myself the same thing so many times before. Being chased, in my opinion, is the easier role to play. It's less active and you can just wait for someone else to make the first move, never risking your own pride or dealing with rejection. But I've also learned, that life should not be a passive act. The only way for us to enjoy it is by being active players and doing what we can to shape our own lives instead of letting the actions of others make our world for us. On the other hand, I still haven't found the courage to be as aggressive as I want to be. But hey, it's a work in progress. Swati and all of the above anonymous commenters are right and raise great points, especially the second and fourth anonymous comments. It's important to realize that everyone doesn't like to be chased. You have to get to know the person enough to realize what they're more comfortable with. And I COMPLETELY agree with the comment above mine. If I don't have at least some reason to believe that I'm not barking up the wrong tree and making a complete fool of myself, then I usually just walk away with my tail between my legs (I decided to keep the dog analogies going lol). But I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor!