Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)
Super Bowl XLV was last night, Everyone. Is it just me or was it very zzzzzzzzzzzzz? Granted, I am from Long Island and have absolutely zero invested in a game between the Steelers and Packers, but even the commercials were especially lackluster? I expect lazy objectification of women in beer commercials (although also eek, GoDaddy.com. Eek.) and non-sequitur car commercials, but there's usually at least one other funny meme. And this year it was just slapstick and men getting hit in the groin. Hahaha, that had to hurt! Great work! 2011!
But then, of course, we were saved.
MMM. You know me too well, Glee. What're you doing "Whatta Man" next week? #amiright? This was a solid episode, if not clearly tailored to the residual Super Bowl audience that has never seen Glee before (the "there can only be one extra-curricular you're involved in because of how high school works" conflict is kind of tired). But OH MAN, Karofsky. That kid. So exhausting! And yet so Awww (he's in Stage 3 :/). I don't want to give away any spoilers, but I'm really hoping that Karofsky soon realizes he was Born This Way.
Valentine's Day episode tomorrow, You Womens, which will certainly feature a song with Blaine and Kurt. RIP Me, I guess. Good knowing you, Me!
Anyways. Other quick hits:
- We're looking to get photos of BDU/Center events online (like, on the FB pages), but don't want to picture anyone who's not comfortable with this. So I'm keeping a running list of people who are willing to have their photo up - email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) if this includes you?
Mhm. Alright! Anonymous Posts! #yessir!
From a slightly advanced vantage point:
Four years out of Duke I was surprised when I saw a reference to this blog while browsing The Chron, procrastinating crunching numbers for a bank. The funny thing is that while I never would have guessed that such an infrastructure existed at Duke, I was not at all shocked to read the linked posting in which a closeted frat star verbalized the internal conflict that he was experiencing while trying to balance liking dudes and his self perception as a "normal guy" (nay, a badass).
I look back on my time at Duke with no regrets, and the thing is, Duke is a weird place. As a homo who can pound a handle and who predates a well known gay KA who actually opened up a lot of peoples eyes, I feel compelled to post and offer some perspective, because my life changed when I graduated (for the better). Gone were the booze fueled, drug induced late night section romps with a select few (some of whom, to the discredit of Duke and broader southern culture, are now married). I struggled with those, not knowing what to think or feel or why I valued them or how to make myself blase about the possibility of another, and another, and another. Although it seemed like it at the time, I was not the only one who was actually into it, and certainly not the only Dukie who felt alone because I and everyone I hooked up with were to cool to care, to scared (of themselves, but really of others) to be honest, and too wedded to an ideal to acknowledge the possibility of others. Its not trivializing anyone's experience to say that at 25 in NYC, in a crowd of gay bankers and consultants and lawyers, many of whom can bench press you before drinking you under the table, its kind of a running joke how macho and closeted and hollow a lot of Duke experiences are.
Like 99% of the population, you have to adjust, and you have to make choices. My choice has been to stop hanging out with all the Dukies, to make friends with guys who went to *gasp* BC, to put myself in positions where I never thought Id be and that aren't 100% comfortable, in order to maintain an identity of someone who is smart, cool, good looking (OK, Ill stop), and private. And a 'mo. And you don't believe it now, but trust me, if you compromise your Duke indoctrination which is largely based on insecurity anyway, open yourself up to being friends with people from different schools, places, and industries, you will not have to compromise your masculinity, your interests, your friends, or your level of comfort with your own sexuality. I promise. And thats an easy promise to make, because organic self development will take care of half the battle anyway.
I hope Duke changes (and while the freshman Dukie in me says its lame, this blog is an awesome start), but that embarrassing conflict is its challenge. The things that make Duke great are the same things that drive you crazy. With respect to social culture, I think thats fairly unique. My Georgetown LAX friends, my homo Chicago and Williams friends, my Australian athlete friends are in NYC and have no problem with whoever you want to love (or just bang). So four years out, my unsolicited advice to the individual in question: get over it, and get to it. The world you hate yourself for wanting, the promise youve already dismissed, the social circle youre too scared to hope for exists, and is waiting for you. Maybe not with open arms, but since you're a rockstar with the balls to post on this blog while there are 20 more like you just lurking, something tells me youll be just fine.
Well, I just got back from Wednesday Night Shooters. Funny thing is, I had the option to go back with either my sort-of-boyfriend-ish-person or my roommate, whom I'm in love with. I picked her. She's now asleep, and obviously doesn't give a shit that I picked her. Or maybe she does; I just would never know it, and probably will never know it. He doesn't know it either, but he'll probably always play second fiddle to her. Neither of them knows. This is my own little secret, and I'm worried I'll carry it to the grave.
All guys want is sex...that's it. I thought I was a gay girl for the past two years but then I started falling for this guy...until he told me he wanted to be fuck buddies. No feelings involved at all. Me being my dumb self said no but the next day I still went to hang out with him at his room. "Maybe he'll still fall for me" I thought. We made out and did other things and at the end he said "Now don't let your feelings get involved." It seems like all guys are like this, I can't handle it. Girls are different, right? Or am I just fooling myself. I don't want sex, I just want love.
I've only been out for about a year, and I'm already frustrated at being gay at Duke. The number of gay men here on campus is so small. There are a few guys I'm attracted to, and a few I've hooked up with, but all they're interested in is sex and the superficiality of it all makes me want to dissociate from romantic endeavors entirely. I know it's unfair to expect to find my soul mate within a population that hovers around 75, but I don't know how to expand into the triangle other than by signing up for some sketchy site online (which doesn't appeal to me). Only a few people from unc and ncstate visit duke, and as far as I can tell only a few people are involved in the lgbt club at unc, so attending their events isn't too enticing. The gay clubs I've been are always relatively empty or frequented by the same people each night. I know UNC has to have more options for me--it's almost 3 times the size at Duke--but I have no idea of how to engage with the less mainstream gay population there that hovers under the radar. I suppose I could just hop on the roberston, find a corner on Franklin street, and gaydar each guy as they pass, but that seems inefficient. Anyone else out there feel constrained by how small our community is, and anyone have some tips? I would really like to be in some sort of a relationships at least by next semester...