Let’s get something straight. Just because I gave you a
friendly back rub does not mean that I am hitting on you. Consider the context
for a moment. We’re eating out (at a restaurant) and I’m going around the table
touching everyone, because we’re a touchy bunch touching each other and that’s
okay. Well, except for you. And I respect your personal bubble and I’ll keep
that in mind now, but hold on a moment my man - you thought I was hitting on
you. I hate to burst your bubble but…
I am not bursting your personal bubble with the intent of
popping your cherry. You’re a plenty handsome guy, but I am not trying to
proposition you at all. There is a difference between showing affection and
conveying that I fancy you.
You and I are both guys, and that’s why there’s that
tension. While this does not apply to all males, it certainly seems like many guys
are particularly afraid of the physical contact and proximity with guys who
seem as if they may be gay. Why? Fear and pride – these two things drive all
the problems in our relationships with people. Fear: it is the manifestation of
ignorance, a lack of understanding. Many LGBT individuals are perfectly normal
in their thoughts and feelings, yet the LGBT community is stereotyped as
promiscuous and sexually deviant. By no means is this the norm, so understand
that in the end we are all humans, not threats. Pride: don’t be so quick to think
that someone is into you. Not every gay guy automatically fancies you, so don’t
assume that. You’re not good looking enough for that and even if you were, your homophobia makes you uglier in my mind, I'm sorry to say.
I feel like there’s a sort of macho
thing going on here that makes guys throw up the defenses a lot more strongly. Luckily, I don't hear "no homo" at Duke that often. Can someone comment on the extent to which this kind
of thing might be true for females?
So man up and tell me if I’m making you uncomfortable. But
before you do that, think about why you’re uncomfortable.
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