Utah's Perfect Little Ally

So, Thanksgiving was pretty great. You don't hear this enough in the LGBT community, but I love my family so much. Yes, like all families, there was a bit of discomfort around the time of my coming out, but we've moved passed that. Whenever I'm home, I know I am around people who love and accept me for who I am. It is a rare occasion that people see pure, unadulterated Dan. But he rears his head quite often when I'm around my family. This is meant to be a short, uplifting post to help Us get through finals, and it goes out to my sister, Maddie.

Just a bit of background. When I came out to my Mom, I was an emotional wreck, and wasn't exactly quiet about it. Maddie overheard me telling my Mom some pretty earth shattering news. About 30 minutes later, I see a note slipped under my door:

"Dan. I heard what you told Mom. I'm totally ok with it. I still love you no matter what."

-Maddie

How adorable is that? She's pretty much the Greatest.

Do ya'll remember taking those required "comp-tech" classes in middle school? You know, the ones where they sit 30 kids down in a computer lab and try to teach kids about the Interwebz, when really all they are doing is trying to hack your site blocker and get onto addictinggames or facebook? Yeah, well Maddie is in one right now. One of their assignments was to make personal blogs. They were required to list some of the blogs with which they kept up and about 8 of her friends listed the BDU blog as their favorite. Yeah, thats right. Not only does Maddie (and my entire family for that matter, thanks Mom) read the blog, but her friends have started to read it too.

I brought her home a Love=Love shirt for a Thanksgiving present. Her eyes were beaming when I showed it to her. I could tell she couldn't wait to wear it around, not only repping Duke but repping LGBT equality. I also found out over break that Maddie has become a confidant to one of her LGBT identified friends, and I could not be prouder. My sister is pretty great.

I hope that the Duke loss and finals aren't keeping ya'll down. Put your heads down, #occupy Perkins, and power through. We're almost there.

Throwback Thursdays: Where We've Come From

[Editor's Note: Hey Readers! Welcome to the second installation of "Throwback Thursdays." Every first Thursday of the month we'll feature a post from the BDU Blog, Version 1.0. As a student group that is more or less all about social change, it can be overwhelming to look forward at what there is still left to accomplish. Hopefully this blog post from 2.5 years ago will allow us to take a break from only seeing the flaws in the world and will shed some perspective to help us to realize how far we've come. It also asks us to consider just what we want from this blog and what battles still need to be fought, both of which are important questions as we approach our 2nd birthday (one week from today!). So, what do you think, Readers? What should this blog be? What's the next 'battle' on your agenda?]

February 23, 2009

I just got through most of the posts on the blog as its existence has somehow escaped my surfing habits. I can say that I'm rather proud of the idea but as I see it now it is lacking in that it caters almost exclusively to the LGBT crowd. While I understand that it serves as means of self-help in between us, it would be of much more help if the greater public and our allies would benefit from reading our insightful and somewhat revealing experiences and ideas. Maybe if we advertised the blog more? or somehow include more people in it I believe it could become a good vessel of peaceful discussion, without it becoming an LGBT version of the metoo blog.

I am certain we have many allies in our student body who are either unaware of the adversity we face everyday, even with what some might deem minor lingual kinks, or who see them happening everyday but do not know how to cope with them. What if we could somehow reach out to them and give them the background information they need?! Think if every day just a couple of people back-lashed when someone uses the word gay or fag?! I think the reason why this social phenomenon has been rampant is exactly the lack of response from everybody. This in turn has lead to what the previous poster described as, the terms becoming part of "habitual-daily speech", a mass-desensitizing phenomenon.

As part of my coming-out process I've tried doing my best to kindly correct any people I was talking too if they ever used any terms associated with LGBT or any other minority or group for that matter. While some viewed it as me beeing a "party-pooper" and taking things "too seriously" I remained adamant and I hope that if not all, some realized that it was something that really mattered to me and have stopped using it.

Trying to cut my late-night stream of conciousness blurb, I want to end by saying that I have great hopes for the LGBT community and Duke and that if we work at our full potential there is room for great change. We have the raw materials and the tools, we need just be the catalyst for change.

Blog Meeting Tonight!

There'll be a This Blog Meeting tonight in my room (Kilgo J210) at 9. While new writers are more than welcome, anyone who just wants to help out or has ideas to share should come! Everyone's invited. These are also consistently just The Most Fun.

See you tonight!

Anonymous Posts (10.18.10-10.24.10)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa your boat. So much is going on this week. The Most is going on this week.

Tonight is the second LGBT Discussion group at 7 in the Center. The first one was, uh, freaking awesome and a ton of people came. Let's do that! Let's do that again, Readers. Tomorrow night there's a blog meeting in my room (Kilgo J 210) at 9. Don't worry, it's right after Glee. This is also consistently an awesome time that more often than not devolves into a dance party/movie night by 10 or 11. Come! Come. As always, it's a great way to meet people and get involved (or not get involved! Whatever. The more the merrier (lol)).

Cookies will be served at both events because duh, cookies will be served at both events.

Tomorrow night before the blog meeting and before Glee are the drag show auditions. (Which I may be auditioning for? To emcee? I have not auditioned for anything since the Wizard of Oz in 5th grade and we all know how that turned out.) Aaaand there's a BDU meeting on Wednesday night.

Personally, my academic trainer and extraordinary woman Laila Sharafi (double majoring in Civil Engineering and Keeping Chris in School) made me go to her room at 8:30 AM today (as in, 8:30 in the morning. Just to clarify) to do the steel homework that I've been putting off in order to make the greatest Excel spreadsheet ever to streamline the process of installing 250+ pride flags that've been requested all over campus (if you signed up for a flag, fret not! We're just figuring out the best way to put these up/replace any that may be stolen). Anyhow. I just did Steel for 8 hours. That is so many hours! Not to mention more than zero hours doing Steel.

So I'm a little tired and loquacious and rambly and need to eat my peanut butter and nutella sandwich and get my life together before the discussion group. Mhm.

Anonymous posts, yo.

#1

I can't take it anymore. If one more gay man I know overlooks the women in our LGBTQ community, I'm going to just stop coming to events.

#2

I've been open and out as bi for approximately forever, and I'm so glad the Center exists here. But at the same time, I'm a shy and awkward person and I feel like every time I go into the Center, I'm out-socialed by everyone there. How do I talk to people? How do I not sound like an idiot? I've figured out how to do casual conversation, I think, but I can't stick to that forever. I don't get how social glue works. I want to make friends, but I don't know how. Okay, so this isn't exactly gay-related, but I feel like the Center is the sort of space that would be safe to learn in--and I so desperately want to learn.

#3

Anyone struggling/coming out? This is a great story, and really cute. Don't tell anyone, but it's a soap opera (But german, so that makes it acceptable. Did I mention I'm glad this is anonymous :-P Fear not, it has english subtitles.) It's now 5 15 am, and I have to be up in 2 hours, but I've been watching it for like 4 hours. First third or so, especially... (link)

Not sure it's what's supposed to be what we post on here, but it's a really nice happy reassuring story... Enjoy <3

#4

My heart goes out to all of Duke's closeted/semi-closeted gays who remain that way out of fear that their parents will stop paying tuition if they find out. We understand your struggle and we feel for you. Stay strong <3

#5

Where are all my queer Asian women at? (And, yes, Asia covers more an East Asia, y'all)

Blog Meeting Tonight!

If you don't think that making these posters is the best part of my week, then you clearly don't know me. This one is my appeal to the more artsy crowd (Ari), so I'm hoping my pointed advertising works.

Anyway! It's already been a week since there was a trillion people in my room for the last meeting. That was so many people! Things got a little squeezed in here and we had to get a little comfortable with one another. With this in mind, I've decided to have the meeting here again this week because duh, that is how families should be.

Maybe bring blankets and pillows and stuff? I don't know.

Tonight we'll be going over a lot more concrete things - setting up people to write, when they're writing, what they're writing, etc. A timeline for advertisements and such.

Again, no matter what you're involvement's been so far or what you want it to be in the future, you're more than welcome. Come visit!

My Room

Kilgo J210

Tonight, 9PM

Blog Meeting Tonight!

So our first blog meeting is tonight, y'all. This is pretty much The Event of The Year where we'll discuss goals for the year and divy up responsibilities. Obviously everyone's invited, whether you plan on writing for the site or not. The more the merrier! Two heads are better than one! If the shoe fits!

This doubles as a Cookies From The Lobby Shop Enthusiasts meeting, too. Just saying.

My Room

Kilgo J210

Tonight, 9PM

Anonymous Posts (8.16.10-8.22.10)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

Being back on campus is, like, totally great. The LGBT Center student staff (Michelle, Megan, Jack, Justin, and I) and Janie went on a retreat this weekend to discuss fall programming and responsibilities and such. As you can imagine, it was more or less (more) The Most Awesome Time. In addition to the standard events (Chocolate Fountain Social, Welcome Reception, Fab Fridays, The NC Parade, Coming Out Day, etc.) we've got a couple other things up our sleeve which are obviously going to be tons of fun and interesting and insightful and tons of fun. I'm in charge of Transgender Day of Remembrance this November, which I'm excited about. I'm looking to mix it up a bit this year and, you know, just make Duke the most PROGRESSIVE school ever.

The NC Parade (which Justin Harris is in charge of) and Coming Out Day (which Megan Weinand is organizing) are going to need a lot of help, so let them know if when you're free.

First-years move in tomorrow! Supercool. If we extrapolate the trend we've seen with incoming classes over the past four or so years, the Class of 2014 is 97% LGBT.

And by boat, he means HUGS.

#1

Just thought you guys should know that this blog is part of the reason why I chose Duke. <3

#2

You're a beautiful man. You're so talented; your soul runs deep. And you ain't hard on the eyes either. I'm glad I knew you.

Love,

MP

PS-Come out, come out wherever you are and get happy!