April 25, 2011

Anonymous Posts (4.18.11-4.4.24.11)


Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks, hate speech, or express or insinuate that one is at risk for hurting themselves or someone else. Please read this for an explanation of this policy and seek help if your or a friend find yourself in that position. With those exceptions aside, please feel free to submit your thoughts and questions. :)

IT'S LWOC!!!!!
I personally could not be more excited. Really, classes? Yeah, I've had enough of you. SummeRisa (she's her own person, you know) is so ready to come out and play...So, say say oh playmate, come out and play with me? Hit me up if you want to try the hand clapping version .

Friday was lav grad, which made me sad sad (I'm apparently in a rhyming mood right now) because the class of 2011 is really terrific. But, in case you missed it (don't let it happen again), BDU Blog has got your back.

Speaking of really terrific 2011ers...the BDU Blog is going to be running a series on y'all from now until the end of summer. Email or facebook me (Risa) if you are interested in writing a post in which you reflect upon your experiences or anything else you want! It can be as long or short as you'd like and you can choose how your name will appear, so don't fret about coming out to the internet if that isn't your cup of ginger and peach tea.

The Women As Leaders class has really taken campus by storm these past few years, spearheading Women's Housing Option and Develle Dish. They're now working towards decreasing sexual assault on campus by mandating minimum bystander intervention training to all incoming first years (Hi 2015 readers!). Consider signing their petition here 'cause sexual assault is bad and you know it.

In the words of Porky the Pig, Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-...That's all, folks!

Anonymous posts, below!

#1
Can we have an honest discussion about this? What Quinn Matney did was unequivocally wrong, and made us all look like attention seeking fools by association. The fact that this forum even HAPPENED after Matney was discovered to have self-inflicted his wounds is an absolute JOKE. Sure, maybe Quinn felt the need to hide the fact that he hurt himself, but did he have to come out and say "Someone attacked me and branded me because I am gay"? Absolutely not. He could have easily said it was an accident. To quote a comment on the above article: "I think the LGBTQ community needs to take a step back and review their culture. This entire “bleeding-nose-looking-for-a-fist-mentality” is completely embarrassing to fellow gays like myself. Half the time the group looks childish and really alienates people." Right now, I am embarrassed to be gay. And I am angry that GBLSTA and BDU did anything besides flat out stating that what Quinn did was wrong, and that the community does not support him in the least bit. There are counselors and mental health professionals for people like Quinn, but our political representatives need to do what is right for the community as a whole. Thank you.


#2
Why is it that whenever I feel most upset, lost, alone, deflated or forgotten, I go to this website? I'm straight as a ruler but the accepting community aspect of BDU is what I love the most and crave from my other friends and "communities." Keep up the posts, the good work, and the love. God knows we all need it.



Please remember that there are a number of resources available on campus and in the local community. If you or a friend are experiencing thoughts or urges to harm yourself or somebody else, please reach out to the following resources: In an emergency, please don't hesitate to call CAPS at any time, including "after hours" at (919) 966-3820. Ask to speak to the advice nurse and tell them you are a Duke student. You may also call the Trevor Project, a national hotline specifically for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer and questioning youth (college students included). Their number is 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).

6 comments:

  1. Hey #1, I'm going to go ahead and take this head on since you're kind of addressing me (as a board member on the GLBTSA). First of all, no one on the board is your political representative. We are campus representatives and more importantly we're your peers. Now, I'm not going to deny that what Quinn did in automatically labeling his injury as a hate crime was pretty terrible in regard to my own personal mental state as well as many others who were afraid to go back to their dorm (in Craige). I know that lashing out is probably the easiest and most cathartic path to take, but I don't think that it's the best. Also to quickly state, Quinn will most likely be charged for falsifying a police report. Probably not enough action for you to feel satisfied, but we are going to go ahead and not cater to schadenfreude.
    Self-mutilation, however, is something that needs to be addressed in the LGBT community and we're all still in the process of what caused Quinn's mental depletion. The last thing to do to someone who has caused themselves 3rd and 4th degree burns is to alienate them and make them feel more alone. I had to tell this same thing to a close friend of mine on campus and I'll go ahead and tell you: Whether or not you like it, Quinn Matney is a part of your community as a LGBT college student. Deal with it, you can't pick and choose.
    Also, I don't think he could have "easily" done anything after being caught self-mutilating. You can say that you would have done differently had you been in his shoes, but you can never really know. On the off chance that you think his actions may have been malicious and pre-meditated, I'm going to go ahead and tell you that it wasn't. I don't know why he made up the story that he did, but the best way to deal with it is not to ostracize him.

    Think about what you said also. What Quinn Matney did by feeling so isolated that he branded himself, got caught by a friend and told this lie [the last part is the one you probably think you're addressing] is unequivocally wrong. I don't know whether or not you know that you appear to be saying that self-mutilation and self-harm is wrong, even slightly.

    Lastly, the forum was to address mental health and instability in the LGBT community as well as move forward with the administration on information dissemination. We felt as if we had to address this issue and make a statement to show how we were responding to the various problems associated with this. It wasn't just to talk about how great Quinn is and how he made just a small mistake or something like that. We wanted to approach this with caution, not anger.

    Lastly, and sorry if this is totally too long and might seem slightly antagonizing, but that quote you pulled out of the article is hyperbolic and childish as well as alienating. So really no one in this situation is in the right, everyone did something wrong and continuing on anything but a progression to campus unity and healing as a community is only exacerbating the fragmentation that is constantly taking place in the LGBT community as people try to stratify themselves in to different groups.

    I appreciate your thoughts on it, and I want to just let you know that a lot of the angry FB messages, emails and phone calls from friends and others that not only I have received but that I know others on the board have received have assured that you're not alone in your thoughts and you're not the only one being vocal. We do hear you and we are talking about what you have to say.
    I just have to say that, as a pragmatic individual intimately involved with this issue and with a lot of information on it, I respectfully disagree with your assertions and your recommendations.

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  2. #1: I personally am conflicted about the "incident," for lack of a better word. I am personally glad that there isn't an individual going around with an object that's capable to inflicting three/fourth degree burns on a person so "freely" perhaps. On the other hand, I share your sentiments. As the article noted, those who actually are victims of such crimes will be less willing to report them, and that worries me. But making a statement that the "LGBT community does not support him the least bit" would contradict the whole notion of a community. A community (theoretically speaking) consists of individuals supporting and looking out for each other. Within the LGBT community, looking out for other individuals going through LGBT related issues(relationship issues, hate crimes, political, etc.) would be the bare minimum. Yes CAPS and similar is important, but to cut Quinn off that way is simply cruel, and will merely worsen the issue. Furthermore, it will chip away at the accepting community aspect that Anonymous Poster #2 highlighted, (of course I'm assuming that this aspect does exist, which I hope does. Even if it doesn't, it still furhter ruins the chance of the community ever obtaining this vital aspect). Should the BDU/GLBTSA groups make a statement specifically discouraging reporting false hate crimes and explaining consequences of such actions? Absolutely. But, stating that the community does not support Quinn, or others who do similar, is only slightly above the level of unaccepting/ignorant parents shunning (or similar) their LGBT identified children in need of help and support.

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  3. #2 - =) =) =)

    Couldn't agree more.

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  4. i really like what you had to say swati. as someone who has self-harmed in the past, i know it isn't something a lot of people don't understand. i think what you said was very fair, empathetic, and supportive.

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  5. dear...whoever approves posts!

    i think i sent my last post unanonymously on accident. it says something along the lines of "i like what you had to say swati as someone who has harmed in the past you were very fair, empathetic, and supportive."

    PLEASE DO NOT POST IT UNLESS I SUBMITTED IT ANONYMOUSLY :)

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  6. Thanks Anon at 12:42. At least being able to make one person feel comfortable was totally worth getting in trouble for writing that post in journalism. As for Brandon, we have said that it hurt the community and many of us personally that this entire thing that took up quite a bit of my Hell Weeks (and probably others' too) turned out to be false. I think it was along the lines of saying that what Quinn did in reporting a false hate crime was really hurtful but we want to let the community (inside UNC and out) that we DO take these things seriously and that we can mobilize in under 48 hours.

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