My Boring Life

My mother (how I do love her so), recently told me in a text that she enjoyed my roommate's post, and was wondering if I was going to post at all this year. I told her, "Meh, my life really isn't interesting enough to warrant a blog post." To which she responded, verbatim, "how about the joy of having a boring life!...How many closeted kids out there do you think would love to have a "boring" life?" So, I'm going to take a departure from the usual heart wrenching stories posted on this blog (which are some of the most amazing stories I have ever read. If you're new to the blog, seriously, take a look through the archives. "Our Lives" >> Math 103 homework). I know the prospect of coming out and discovering who you are can be quite daunting. I remember thinking that coming out would shake my world as I knew it, and that I would never be able to lead a "normal" life. I hope to prove to you that some of Our Lives, the lives of out men and women at Duke, are quite...average.

Weekdays are pretty much all the same. I wake up at about 9 every morning. Eat breakfast on the way to class. Sit through class. etc, etc. We're all Duke students, we all know what the average weekday grind is.

Weekends are also pretty normal. Most Saturdays are currently taken up by band. I usually spend one night a week hanging with the same old people (either Round Table or band friends). Sundays are usually spend in Perkins, catching up on the work that I should have done earlier in the week.

President Broadhead sent us (the sophomore class, I'm not sure if Juniors or Seniors got it) an email at the beginning of the year telling us to break our molds and try something new. But, to be entirely honest, I love my mold. Call me boring if you want, but nothing brings me more joy than going through my routine.

I am single and content in being so. This is a post for another time, but because my sexuality is very low on the list of identities and labels with which I align, I delight in all of the other "boring" aspects of my life. In fact, the "gayest" thing about me right now is the flag outside my window, but that isn't even for me. That is for You. So that You can hopefully feel comfortable on this campus. I fly that flag with the hopes that You can, like me, find a mold in which You feel comfortable. And I certainly hope You know that You can be openly LGBT identified individual and still lead a perfectly normal, "boring" life.

Number 28

[In addition to all of our awesome visible and identifying columnists, we also have some awesome anonymous columnists that for one reason or another must use a pseudonym (and pseudopic?). Details on anonymous columnists here.]

Last Friday afternoon I finally had my pride flag installed. I was feeling a bit apprehensive about it.

I signed up for a pride flag because I had always promised myself I’d come out in college and I was going to do so my Freshman year. I’d never been one of those people who flaunt their sexuality (because I don’t make it a habit to flaunt anything) but the flags around campus always put me at ease, and I like seeing them—why not add to the numbers?

Still, I was apprehensive.

I wasn’t ready for a flag. I had all sorts of scenarios about what would happen when I put my flag up. One scenario I imagined that didn't seem completely farfetched was that my relationships with others—the other girls on my hall, my friends, everyone—would change drastically when it was finally up.

I had originally planned to have my flag put up the day of or after Coming Out Day at Duke. It would be the ultimate culmination of my assimilation into the queer community. However, after putting it up I realized doing so on Friday was the best thing. When students come back from Fall Break it’ll just be there. They’ll probably disregard it; maybe think about it for a moment while unpacking from visiting friends and family. They’ll realize that they already like me for me and this extra factor isn’t all that monumental. To them, it’ll be something that can be actively disregarded but passively reminding them that I deserve respect too.

Regardless of how much I try to allay my anxiety with positive probabilities, I’m still apprehensive. I know it seems silly, but this is the first time I’ll be “out” to a group larger than 6. I have a few worries about my flag sending the wrong message and of my parents seeing it when they come around, but I’ve already grown fond of it and I’ve decided it’s not going anywhere. Flag number 28 will be displayed proudly from my window for the rest of my freshman year. With such a strong and supportive community (which this blog and the many posts that make it up serve as a reflection of) I can confidently say that regardless of what happens I won't remove my flag.