Crying Victim

The congressional debate over women’s reproductive rights has highlighted a recent shift in conservative rhetoric that has worked surprisingly well. This is the clever new tactic of playing the victim. I’ve wondered for a while why this strategy is working so well, and I can only think of one more I’m not questioning why people who already agree with the hyper-conservative opinions on these issues fancy the rhetoric, I’m just curious how that rhetoric sways moderates. The rhetorical shift I’m referring to is the new strategy of twisting issues where the goal is to undermine minority rights into issues about a lack of respect for their beliefs. Essentially, playing the victim. To use the example of contraception, those opposing the right of women to have coverage for birth control call it an attack on their religious liberty, and dub it a war on religion and so forth. The only reason I can think that this strategy works is that we as a people do not have an adequate understanding of privilege.

I think it’s an important thing for us as a culture to learn how privilege works. When a group is institutionally elevated above others; that is privilege. I’m sure most people reading this have heard this before, but I just wanted to be really clear. I actually think the rhetorical shift is a good thing. What it indicates is that privilege is starting to slip. As privileged groups like Christians, men, whites, and heterosexuals start to lose some of the privileges they’ve grown accustomed to, they see it as an attack on their liberty. That’s probably because once a privileged group gets used to a privilege, they start to see it as a right. So let’s be absolutely clear, constitutionally every person has the right to their personal beliefs unless their beliefs involve restricting the liberty of others. So now that we’ve got the basics of how the constitution works when it comes to civil liberties, maybe we can get on to same sex marriage…

As a note, I kept my definition of privilege deliberately short to show how simple it really is.

Catching Up

[Editor's Note: Don't forget! There is a blog meeting tonight at 9:30pm in the Few FF first floor common room! We'll have cookies :)]

Hello, everyone - it's been a while since I've posted, which is awesome. It means that the Blog has a healthy crop of writers with important points of view and experiences to share. I've not done anything super-interesting in the LGBTQ world lately, mostly because I've been focused on some other things.

For example, some of you know that I got an offer of admission from UW-Madison's French PhD program at the end of January. I hope this will be the first of several offers, but let me tell you, I'm so excited about the program. It pretty much has everything I want - excellent scholars, a focus on interdisciplinary studies, a strong teaching program, and an awesome music school/local music scene. Wisconsin also legalized domestic partnerships, which means that LGBTQ couples could get some (not even close to all, but it's a start) of the protections and benefits available to straight, married couples. I could feel safe and accepted there, and that is hugely important to me. Because, y'all, I get tired of fighting and arguing and asserting that yes, LGBTQ people deserve the same rights as everyone else. I also sometimes get tired of the infighting that happens within Duke's LGBTQ community (and the greater community as well) - some people aren't as activist-oriented, or even out; some are out, proud, and raring to go, and sometimes it feels like these two general groups just can't say anything nice about each other. I love all of y'all because you're such great individuals, and you make up a community (whether you're out or not, involved or not) that seriously can't be beat. But sometimes I just get psychologically and mentally and socially exhausted, and I don't think I'm alone.

Another thing that's happened recently is that I broke my foot.* It's not an interesting story, I swear, but it is my first broken bone, so I'll tell it anyway. I was walking, and I fell. Duke EMS, Student Health, and Duke Urgent Care all originally thought it was a sprain, so from last Wednesday to last Friday afternoon, I was walking on it, albeit gingerly. The doctor called Friday afternoon to say it was actually broken, so I spent the weekend in a splint with strict orders to avoid putting any weight on the foot. I finally got a cast yesterday morning (it's kind of awesome - you should sign it), and I'll be in it (and on crutches) for 4 more weeks. This injury has made me hyper-aware of just how much I'm used to doing for myself. Suddenly I can't carry anything in my hands, or open doors, or move quickly. I get random cramps in my hands, arms, and shoulders, so I have to stop multiple times on my way to class or back to my room. Stairs are hard to navigate, and they're everywhere - I live on the second floor, and there's no elevator in my dorm. I'm physically tired all the time. I've had to ask for a lot of help from my friends and my girlfriend, who has been taking care of me since Friday. I hate asking for help. But the more I try to do on my own right now, the harder everything becomes. So this is a learning experience - it's made it clear to me that I can only do so much by myself, and that sometimes it is okay to stop, or go more slowly, or ask for help.

I don't really have a pithy message, other than to remember that sometimes people get tired, for various reasons. And sometimes you have to accept it and respect it.

*Just to be clear, I recognize that I'm coming from the point of view of extreme privilege. My intent is not to whine, or to compare my experience with anyone whose everyday challenges are greater than my temporary injury. Like I said, it's a learning experience for me, because some of those challenges have become mine, and I've gotten a glimpse of how much harder my life could be.

Cisgender Privilege (Part I); Qualities of A Transgender Ally

[Note: Cisgender (adj). - 1. to describe those who identify with their biological sex, and (a simplified definition) 2. not transgender.]

As a white woman I have white privilege.As a cisgender woman, I have cisgender privilege.

I know the issues are both very different, but for me it is helpful to connect the two in my mind to help guide how I educate myself and how I react in situations. I didn't want to try and tackle cisgender privilege all in one blog post-so I'm starting this off with a part I that focuses on general privilege in my experience.

Privilege is an uncomfortable issue. (I'm interested to see how people respond to this post.)

It's so natural to be defensive and even in fact, actively defensive in order to pretend that privilege doesn't exist. As a white woman, I will be the first to say that many white people constantly create fabrications or remain oblivious (myself included) to mitigate this guilt. "Reverse racism" and "post-racial" society are both false terms that help mitigate white guilt about privilege; even though there is no such thing as "post-racial" anything and reverse racism can't exist, these terms are totally popular even among the most liberal and progressive circles.

Instead of defensiveness with privilege, developing myself as an ally was a better reaction to start forming in the past few years. Below is a combined summary of blogs (citation below) I've read lately. The first is a list of some possible traits of a white anti-racist ally that I particularly liked as I've read them online recently The second is using this first list as a good starting point to think of cisgender privilege/being a trans ally:

Qualities of a White Anti-Racist Ally:

1. "Is responsible for self-education about privilege, racism, and oppression; does not expect people of color to always teach them."

2. "Does not require people of color to prove the truth of their racial experiences or injuries."

3. "Responds to racist statements even when a person of color is not present or does not object."

4. Does not expect recognition or gratitude; addresses racism because it is personally offensive.

5. Recognizes that allies will always fail, and when they do should remain non-defensive, apologize, correct (if possible) and self-educate (see #1).

6. Recognizes that their other minority identities don't erase their white privilege. (And to quote another tumblr article, "do you think white privilege is ever erased, period?")

7. Recognizes their white privilege and actively works to maintain that awareness and act in response.

[Citation: #'s 1-4: Quelola (Tumblr) and #5: What Tami Said (Blogger)]

For me thinking about ways to be a white anti-racist ally is a good starting point for being a better cisgender ally, which I have only begun to seriously consider this year. Here it is modified a bit for possible qualities of a transgender ally:

Qualities of a Transgender Ally:

1. "Is responsible for their own self-education on transgender topics and does not expect transgender people to teach them."

-I've heard trangender friends tell me that they recieve questions about extremely personal and sensitive topics, like genitalia; it can't be the responsibility of the minority individual to constantly educate those with a privilege status.

2. "Does not require transgender inidivudals to "prove" their transgender identity."

3. "Responds to transphobic statements even when a transgender person is not present or does not object."

- Including using correct pronouns (which I will be the first to admit that I have definitely failed at sometimes), including when the transgender person isn't there, etc.

4. "Does not expect recognition or gratitude; addresses transphobia because it is personally offensive."

5. "Recognizes that allies will always fail, and when they do should remain non-defensive, apologize, correct (if possible) and self-educate (see #1)."

6. Recognizes that their other minority identities don't somehow "erase" their cisgender privilege.

-I think this one is so crucial. I can't tell express how many white gay men dominate entire conversations, never listen/acknowledge women or people of color, only to claim they are "feminist!" or "progressive!" or "gay!" and therefore able to erase the possibility of being an "-ist".

7. Recognizes their cisgender privilege and actively works to maintain that awareness and act in response.

I know this is only a brief list and that it also might be common or first-hand knowledge to many reading this blog, but I hope it sparks dialogue and that others feel comfortable adding to the list with experiences (as identifying with or being an ally of either community). I'm constantly blown away by how little I've known for such a long period of time when it comes to confronting privilege, and I'd be excited to hear what everyone else thinks about ways to recognize privilege and becoming better allies.

More links:

-The Cisgender Privilege Checklist.

-"White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisble Knapsack".

Let's Queer Up

[In addition to all of our awesome visible and identifying columnists, we also have some awesome anonymous columnists that for one reason or another must use a pseudonym (and pseudopic?). Details on anonymous columnists here.]

If you had a chance to wander around campus yesterday morning, you may have noticed a new addition to the extensive expanse of event and party flyering that regularly papers Duke. All over campus, "Got Privilege?" and "Heterosexual Privilege Checklist" flyers have sprung up, covering advertising boards, academic buildings, bathroom stalls, and bus stops (rumor has it that James B. Duke himself was found adorned with an appropriately pointed "Got Privilege?" sign).














Let me just throw out there right now that I think that this is awesome. This kind of action addresses one of the most insidious ways in which our society (including Duke), silences LGBTQ experiences. Through the perpetuation of an implicitly accepted hierarchy of worth, we have become desensitized to all the little things that tell LGBTQ persons every day that their experiences are "other" or invalid. For example, I can count the number of times I have seen an LGBTQ couple showing affection in public on campus on my two hands. However, when I walk around campus I am bombarded by heterosexual displays of affection everyday, to the point that I don't notice if a heterosexual couple is holding hands or kissing in public. But if an LGBTQ couple were doing that? You bet I'd notice! I think it's safe to say that most of us would. LGBTQ love still exists within a theoretical, rights-based understanding ("I'm not homophobic! You can be gay, just don't be gay in front of me,"). We have yet to embrace, as a society, a space wherein LGBTQ experiences are given just as much credence as straight (or cis-gendered) ones.

And that's completely normative bullshit.

The flyering campaign seems to be especially relevant in light of an upcoming event that is specifically aimed at addressing these pervasive issues of privilege. Today, from 12pm-3pm on the Duke Plaza, there will be a flash hand-holding/PDA mob, wherein participants (gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual, etc) will hold hands with/cuddle/make-out with a same-sex partner. There will be no posters, no flyers explaining what we are doing. But just by being there, publicly displaying same-sex affection, we will be pushing our peers' boundaries and their perceptions of what is and is not "normal" to see.

If you too can count on two hands the number of times you have seen LGBTQ couples who feel comfortable and safe enough to display affection on the Plaza, Main Quad, in the dorms, at the bus stop, etc., then imagine how affirming seeing tons of same-sex affection (between men and gender-nonconforming individuals as well as women) would be. Now stop imagining that reality and come take action. It is up to us to push our peers to confront the crap that is the status quo. It's time for us to queer up.

Facebook event for the hand-holding/PDA flashmob here.