Kind of a Senior Post; or Who Really Knows Anything, Anyway?

Y’all, I kind of don’t know what to write. I’ve entered that point in the semester where I don’t have enough time to sit down and go over all the things I have to do because I have so many things to do. I know I’m not alone in that – so many of my friends are writing theses, or applying for jobs or study abroad, or rehearsing for recitals, or preparing furiously for yet another round of midterms. (Seriously, though – what is up with multiple midterms? It’s my senior year here and I still don’t understand the point. But I digress.) In addition to all of that, those of us who are nearing graduation are starting to think about what we’ll be doing after college, when we’re not trying desperately to forget that there is life after college.

I actually have it pretty easy: I know that, barring something apocalyptic, I’m going to graduate school next year to eventually earn my PhD. But everything other than that hard fact is in a scary state of flux. I don’t know where I’m going to live – there are no Room Picks for apartments, and I’m not even 100% sure where I’ll be, geographically speaking. I don’t know anybody at any of the schools to which I have applied, and I’ll be leaving most of my friends – and my girlfriend - here in North Carolina (or wherever they’re going after graduation). I don’t even know what my place will be within the LGBTQA community at my future institution. A good deal of my sense of self and personal growth is due to my involvement, however much or little over the years, in Duke’s LGBTQA community. I know where I fit at Duke, and now, just as I’ve gotten comfortable, I must leave to make a new place for myself somewhere else. So, given all of that uncertainty, is it any wonder that I don’t know what to write for this blog?

Catching Up

[Editor's Note: Don't forget! There is a blog meeting tonight at 9:30pm in the Few FF first floor common room! We'll have cookies :)]

Hello, everyone - it's been a while since I've posted, which is awesome. It means that the Blog has a healthy crop of writers with important points of view and experiences to share. I've not done anything super-interesting in the LGBTQ world lately, mostly because I've been focused on some other things.

For example, some of you know that I got an offer of admission from UW-Madison's French PhD program at the end of January. I hope this will be the first of several offers, but let me tell you, I'm so excited about the program. It pretty much has everything I want - excellent scholars, a focus on interdisciplinary studies, a strong teaching program, and an awesome music school/local music scene. Wisconsin also legalized domestic partnerships, which means that LGBTQ couples could get some (not even close to all, but it's a start) of the protections and benefits available to straight, married couples. I could feel safe and accepted there, and that is hugely important to me. Because, y'all, I get tired of fighting and arguing and asserting that yes, LGBTQ people deserve the same rights as everyone else. I also sometimes get tired of the infighting that happens within Duke's LGBTQ community (and the greater community as well) - some people aren't as activist-oriented, or even out; some are out, proud, and raring to go, and sometimes it feels like these two general groups just can't say anything nice about each other. I love all of y'all because you're such great individuals, and you make up a community (whether you're out or not, involved or not) that seriously can't be beat. But sometimes I just get psychologically and mentally and socially exhausted, and I don't think I'm alone.

Another thing that's happened recently is that I broke my foot.* It's not an interesting story, I swear, but it is my first broken bone, so I'll tell it anyway. I was walking, and I fell. Duke EMS, Student Health, and Duke Urgent Care all originally thought it was a sprain, so from last Wednesday to last Friday afternoon, I was walking on it, albeit gingerly. The doctor called Friday afternoon to say it was actually broken, so I spent the weekend in a splint with strict orders to avoid putting any weight on the foot. I finally got a cast yesterday morning (it's kind of awesome - you should sign it), and I'll be in it (and on crutches) for 4 more weeks. This injury has made me hyper-aware of just how much I'm used to doing for myself. Suddenly I can't carry anything in my hands, or open doors, or move quickly. I get random cramps in my hands, arms, and shoulders, so I have to stop multiple times on my way to class or back to my room. Stairs are hard to navigate, and they're everywhere - I live on the second floor, and there's no elevator in my dorm. I'm physically tired all the time. I've had to ask for a lot of help from my friends and my girlfriend, who has been taking care of me since Friday. I hate asking for help. But the more I try to do on my own right now, the harder everything becomes. So this is a learning experience - it's made it clear to me that I can only do so much by myself, and that sometimes it is okay to stop, or go more slowly, or ask for help.

I don't really have a pithy message, other than to remember that sometimes people get tired, for various reasons. And sometimes you have to accept it and respect it.

*Just to be clear, I recognize that I'm coming from the point of view of extreme privilege. My intent is not to whine, or to compare my experience with anyone whose everyday challenges are greater than my temporary injury. Like I said, it's a learning experience for me, because some of those challenges have become mine, and I've gotten a glimpse of how much harder my life could be.

Nerves

Hi, everyone.

I've been nervous all week. I'm a nervous kind of person - introvert, type-A, perfectionist, you know the drill. The first week of classes every semester never fails to magnify my usual jumpiness or uncertainty, even though I've had a first week of classes every year since I was four. Y'all know that I'm a senior, so this is my last - and arguably my most important - semester. I graduate in May, but in the meantime I have to write a thesis and get into graduate school, so I'm already feeling the pressure. However, it's not just school that has me a little unbalanced right now.

In case you haven't talked to me for more than ten minutes, I'll let you in on a little [not-so] secret bit of information: I'm a TOTAL choir geek. Now, when I say that, you probably think of the 200 high school girls who descended upon the Chapel to sing last semester, when Eric Whitacre came to visit. I was not there, but I'm told there was much swooning and sobbing during the actual performance. I cannot say that I've never cried during a performance, but the music that moves me is usually around 400 years old. I'm lucky enough to be in an ensemble (Vespers) that regularly sings this repertoire, and it just so happens that we have a concert today, at 8PM in the Chapel (SHAMELESS PLUG: BE THERE IT'LL ROCK, I SWEAR!! And it's only 50 minutes long.). So, we've been rehearsing all week to prepare for it, and it is definitely one of the things that has made me nervous this week.

My parents, who are incredibly involved in my life, will be there. And so will my girlfriend. My parents know about her, but they haven't met, and I haven't told them that she will be there. Meeting parents is so stressful, and I didn't want her to feel that I was pushing her to meet them. So, she may or may not decide that she wants to. If she does, I have to admit that I'm also going to be nervous about how it could go. I have no doubts that she will be as adorable and charming as ever, but since when are nerves logical?

Life can also be great!

Hello, everyone! I hope that the last few days of the semester are going well for you. As you know, I had decided to come out to my parents right after Thanksgiving Break. My reasons for doing so are many, but two of the biggest are the fact that I’m a terrible liar (so it was getting harder and harder to hide things from them), and my desire to tell them about my wonderful girlfriend. Well, I wrote them a letter and left it on my bed, with instructions to open it no earlier than 12PM, the morning that they took me back to the airport. I knew my flight would land at RDU around 10AM, so I wanted to have a bit of a time buffer before the call came – because, if you know my parents, they ALWAYS call when they want to talk to you, and they keep calling if you don’t answer. In case you’re curious, here’s the letter:

Dear Mom and Dad,

Maybe you’ll think that it’s strange for me to have written you a letter so soon after seeing you over my Thanksgiving Break. You would be right – it is strange. But it’s also necessary for me to write it instead of trying to say what I’m about to say out loud to you. Please know that I’m not trying to hurt you.

I’m queer: I like women and men and transpeople and people who don’t identify as anything at all. I don’t know how aware you have been of the fact that I’m not straight, but I wanted to tell you myself. I’m actually really scared of your reactions to this news, because I love you and I don’t want you to stop loving me. You’ve said some things in the past about gay people that have made me think that you hate us, that we’re dirty or criminals or subnormal. It hurts me when you say stuff like that, or agree with others who do.

In case you’re wondering, I’ve known for a long time. It was hard in middle and high school, because I felt as though I couldn’t talk to anyone about it without being hated or derided, and I didn’t even have the words to explain it anyway. I even hated myself for awhile. It took until I came to college to realize that I wasn’t alone, and that there were people in the world who wouldn’t judge me based on who I love. I am finally my whole self, and I am so much happier now than I ever was before. My one fear is that the real Jennifer will disappoint you, and that you will be angry or hurt.

I hope that you will take some time to consider what I’ve told you, and I want you to know that I’m no different from the person I was before. I just got tired of hiding the whole of that person from you. If you want to talk about it, we can. If you don’t, that’s okay too.

In closing, I want to say again that I love you. I hope you still love me and are proud of me.

Jennifer

So, my flight landed right on time, and Mandy (my girlfriend) picked me up from the airport. I knew I wanted her to be with me when the call came, so that I could have someone with whom I could either celebrate or cry. We hung out for several hours while I kept glancing fearfully at my cellphone. At around 3:30 in the afternoon, my phone rang; it was my parents. I answered it tentatively. Both of my parents were there, probably standing in the kitchen with the speakerphone on. My dad did most of the talking, but the gist of what they both said was that they love me, they’re so proud of me, they’re glad I told them, and they want to be part of my life. I was so happy that I couldn’t do much but smile and say “Thank you,” and Mandy (who was sitting nearby) was crying with joy for me. My parents and I talked for a little while longer about things (I didn’t tell them about Mandy that day, although I did so last week and they said they want to meet her, so yay!), such as who else in the family I could tell (my dad’s older brother). The whole call felt surreal in a wonderful way – I never expected such a response from my parents. There was no yelling or crying or sadness, and I’m so, so happy about it.

Coming out to parents isn’t an option for everyone. I had a back-up plan just in case things went horribly wrong, but that isn’t always a possibility. Furthermore, I was emotionally ready to tell them, which is something that nobody can decide for you. I wish all of you who are still waiting to tell your families the best of luck when (if) you finally decide to come out to them. Please feel free to talk to me about this if you like – jenn.morgan23@gmail.com.

Life Can Be Scary

Greetings, everyone!

A lot has happened in my life since my last post, but I won’t bore you with most of it. You’re welcome to ask me about it, though. I will say that the most important event was getting my first girlfriend (Yes, I’m such a baby queer. It’s fine.). She’s great and wonderful and makes me very happy, so naturally I want to share that news with the whole world. The people I really want to tell are my parents, but as you may remember from my first post, my parents don’t even know I’m queer. (Or, if they do, they’re really good at denial.) My sister does, finally – I called her on Duke’s Coming Out Day to tell her, which went really well. My original plan for coming out to my parents went something like this:

1. Graduate on May 13, 2012. Celebrate with my parents, sister, and extended family before and after getting my degree.


2. Wait for the extended family to leave on Monday, the 14th.


3. Pack my things, including a small, easy-to-carry getaway bag of essentials, and have a friend with a car on standby.


4. Tell my parents I'm queer before getting into the car to drive back to Atlanta.


5. Brace for impact.

Now, however, I’m tired of hiding and lying, and it’s getting harder for me to do it efficiently. Maybe it’s stupid (considering how much financial control my parents have over me), but I’d really love to let them know what their elder daughter is really like before Winter Break. And, considering how out I am on the internet now, it would be better for them to find out directly from me, instead of from someone else, or because they randomly stumbled across this blog or hacked my Facebook account. So, with that in mind, I’ve decided to write a letter that will be delivered to them after I get back to Duke this Sunday.

I honestly don’t know how they will react. I’m sure there will be at least some yelling and crying and awkward, painful questions. But I don’t know if it will last for 2 hours, 3 days, or 10 years. Nor do I know if they’ll do something like stop paying tuition, or refuse to let me come home for Christmas (or return to Duke in the Spring). I hope that none of my fears will be realized, and that my parents love me enough to reconsider some of their narrow-minded beliefs. However, the outcome is uncertain, and I’m pretty scared, so please keep me in your thoughts in the weeks to come.

WOMYN Wednesday

Hey, everyone!

I promised to keep you in the loop about WOMYN, so here's the rundown: Our Senior Layout Editor, Robert Kollenberg, has begun putting the magazine together. We're also working with an artist to create a unique cover design for the magazine, as well as a layout redesign. Finally, just as a reminder, if you're on the Review Board, please return your comments on new submissions ASAP - y'all are the ones who have the power to accept or reject submissions!

I don't know if y'all are interested in my eensy saga of grad school applications, but I'll keep telling you anyway. So, I decided to leave my LGBTQ-related activities on my C.V. without offering any kind of explanation. In most ways, it has been a non-issue, but there is one particular incident that was a little unsettling.

Some of you know that, in addition to applying to graduate school, I'm in the midst of the scholarship competitions for the Rhodes and the Marshall. In order to be an official candidate from Duke, I had to have an institutional endorsement interview, which works kind of like a mock scholarship interview and a constructive criticism session all rolled into one. As you might imagine, it was pretty stressful, and I was very nervous. The interview was more of a rapid-fire grilling session than anything else - I was asked about a range of things pertaining to my thesis and my personal statement. Some of the questions I couldn't answer (I don't yet know everything about the sixteenth century in France, unfortunately), which didn't really help. The last question, though, sent me over the edge. I was asked what the climate was like for LGBTQ people on campus, and whether that environment had anything to do with my involvement with WOMYN.

I was not in any way expecting such a question, and my experience as part of the LGBTQ community is not something that I enjoy explaining to a roomful of complete strangers. Nor is it a story that I should have to tell, especially since my interviewers are human, with their own notions and prejudices that could affect whether I continue in the competitions.

I got something coherent out before I started crying uncontrollably (mortifying). Now, let's be clear: there are certain questions that should never be asked, and the one I responded to probably falls under that category as well. My situation is a little different - because it was not a job interview, I don't think that there is any kind of legal issue at stake. However, I think that every interview should follow the same basic, ethical principles. One of those is that no one has the right to force you to come out (or to out you) in any setting. We still have to negotiate a world full of prejudices and injustices, and in many states (and other nations) we have no protection against discrimination for being LGBTQ. So, know your rights, people, and assert them if you have any doubt about a situation.

My story has a happy ending, or perhaps a new, happy beginning: I am continuing on in both scholarship competitions, which is very exciting. I don't know how much farther I'll get, but even being at this point is amazing.

WOMYN Wednesday

First, I want to send a huge thank you to everyone who has submitted to WOMYN! Our next issue is going to be wonderful! We would still love to have some ideas for cover art, so if you want to help with that please talk to Robert Kollenberg, our Senior Layout Editor, or email womynatduke@gmail.com as soon as possible. Finally, if you want to submit something but missed the deadline, please talk to me (Jennifer).

Okay, so that's pretty much it for WOMYN news, although we will keep you in the loop in the weeks to come! I would now like to offer a (tangentially related) personal musing. Read on if you wish.

Applications for graduate programs in my field opened on September 1. So, I've been working hard to whip my C.V. into shape, find professors willing to write references, and write a compelling personal statement. One thing I had to think about a lot was whether to disclose my involvement with the BDU blog and WOMYN - not because they're not important to me (because they really are!), but because it would mean coming out to more people, specifically the professors who are writing reference letters for me. Oh, of course it's not a blatant kind of coming out. Rather, it's the ambiguous kind that leaves room for so many awkward questions and assumptions.

I wouldn't consider myself super closeted at Duke, but there are some situations in which I don't think coming out is a useful or relevant act. My professors don't need to know I'm queer in order to write me a letter of reference, and graduate programs don't need to know in order to decide whether I'm a good candidate. Thus, coming out seems like an overshare. However, I've been fighting (with myself, with peer pressure, etc.) for years to be fully myself, and expunging all LGBTQ-related activities from my C.V. and things would feel like lying or going back in the closet. It's a weird situation for me. I've basically decided to leave that information in, but to offer no explanation. I would rather show my involvement with activities that are important to me and open myself up to questions and assumptions than erase them from the story I tell to recommenders and graduate schools.

WOMYN Wednesday!

Hello, all you marvelous readers!

I do not have a poll for you today. Instead, I wish to remind you of something much more exciting and momentous:

WOMYN is hosting a submission-writing party TOMORROW from 8-10PM in the Center. The deadline for submitting your ever-fabulous perspectives on being a queer woman at Duke is this Friday, September 16. But, writing those submissions can be very difficult, which is why WOMYN has decided to help create an atmosphere that makes writing fun and communal. Because, really, we are all part of such as strong and dynamic community, and WOMYN is a tangible symbol of that community. Therefore, it makes sense that we all share in the writing process - to cheer each other on, make suggestions, and otherwise provide a supportive environment. But wait! There's more! If you come to the party, you will also receive food, FREE with your attendance!

In the meantime, I urge you to keep spreading the word about WOMYN. When it comes down to it, WOMYN is both a record of our community and a conversation among community members. We need as many voices as possible to be included in that conversation. So, please take a WOMYN bookmark to give to a friend, send an email, share a copy of the first issue - we will all benefit by encouraging others to submit. Additionally, for the artistically-inclined, WOMYN is looking for an awesome new cover design. We want this issue to be as slick as the first! You can send your submissions (art and otherwise) to womynatduke@gmail.com. We look forward to seeing the wonderful things you have to offer!

WOMYN Wednesday!

Well, first things first: I hope that everyone had a fabulous summer! To those who are returning readers of the blog: welcome back! To our new readers (I'm looking at you in particular, Class of '15): welcome to Duke and to the BDU Blog!

A few days ago, Megan wrote up a wonderful post about the many resources and activities for LGBTQ students at Duke. One of those resources is WOMYN, Duke's student publication by and for queer women on campus. I mention WOMYN specifically because I am Jennifer, the current Editor. WOMYN is currently looking for submissions for the next issue, so please send your work to womynatduke@gmail.com. We want everything from comic strips to poetry, as long as it has a queer women's focus, and if you are part of the Duke community, you can submit. The deadline is September 16, which will be here sooner than we realize!

Part of WOMYN's content is also generated by WOMYN Wednesday Polls. Because summer is always (surprisingly) busy for everyone, I thought I'd do a quick round-up of the polls posted in the past few months. Never fear, there aren't too many, so you can fill them out during your lunch break, or between bouts of packing/unpacking/orientation activities. Additionally, it's a fact that participating in these super-short surveys will raise your IQ by a minimum of 5 points. So go hither, thither, and yon to register your responses, which could appear in WOMYN's next issue!

I'll be back on campus this Friday, about which I'm super-excited, and I'd love to talk to you in person about WOMYN if you like!

WOMYN Wednesday!

Hey, everyone! So, you might have noticed that there was no WOMYN Wednesday post last week. The reason is that I was at home, in Atlanta. I took the GRE last Tuesday, because I am a super-nerd and want to go to grad school as soon as I finish college. And then I fled Durham on Wednesday at 5:00 AM to make the 6ish-hour drive home. Once there, I had to curtail all activities involving rainbows, glitter, unicorns, and civil rights activism (in no particular order). Now, however, I’m back in Durham, and I have another survey for you!

What do you want to do after college? (Click on the question to take the survey.)

The questions in the survey have been on my mind quite a bit lately, since this year I’m a senior. Soon, I will be leaving the wonderful world of Duke, although I will probably end up in a place that also requires spending inordinate amounts of time in the library. (That’s actually my ideal situation, by the way: I was born to embrace the nerdy side of life.) So, I already know what I want to do with my life, and I think it would be really interesting to hear from y’all. The real world – which I plan to stay out of, for the most part – is a much different place, and there are many of us who will live and struggle in it once we leave Duke. A lot of us are fairly involved with the LGBTQ community here, but Duke, for all of its faults when it comes to providing a safe environment for us, is a very closed, rarified, even, dare I say, liberal community compared to many parts of the US and the world. Suddenly, being LGBTQ or an Ally may become more difficult or dangerous for some of us. So, please take this survey – it’s not all serious, but I hope it at least makes you think a bit!

P.S. Once you’ve finished taking the survey, please send your submissions to womynatduke@gmail.com! The inbox is so empty that when I shout at my computer screen, there’s an echo. You can submit artwork, comics, essays, poems, photographs – anything, as long as it’s your work and it has a queer women’s focus. If you want to submit something but are struggling with ideas, feel free to ask any of the editors, and be sure to check out WOMYN’s first issue. WOMYN is super-important, y’all – by its very existence it changes campus, but it can’t do that without a community effort. So please, submit – you have until September 16!

The Exceedingly Enthralling Adventures of Jennifer: Part the First

This post is going to be a little bit different from previous Wednesday posts. I said in my very first post that I would be sharing some of my story with you in addition to putting up the WOMYN Wednesday polls. (You should totally take them and share them with your friends, by the way!)

I thought I would tell you one of my coming-out stories. As I’m sure you know, coming out can be a huge and drawn-out process, as well as an uncomfortable or frightening experience. This particular coming-out experience happened at the beginning of last Fall.

I live in the Wellness Community, in Crowell G. For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, we’re a substance-free community that focuses on mindful, healthy living. It’s a great mix of people of all faith traditions, backgrounds, majors, personality types, etc. As part of an effort to build a stronger sense of community, our RC, Laura Kirkland, had decided that we would all go on a mandatory, day-long retreat to Camp New Hope. I was very nervous about it for many reasons: I’m pretty shy, so large groups of people make me nervous, and I generally dislike team-building exercises; I was overloading in a big way that semester, so I already had a ton of work to do; and I had just begun coming to terms with my sexuality, but I wasn’t really out to many people.

Despite my fears, the retreat began well. Laura had some ice-breakers that were new to me, and very fun, and there was food, which is never a bad thing. The more time I spent with the other members of Wellness, the more I realized that we had a lot in common. Of course, it helped that everyone was very nice. The difficult part was soon to come, though.

One of the Wellness requirements is that you have a SMART Goal - that is, a Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely goal. For a lot of people, the SMART Goal had to do with one of the more obvious/traditional parts of “living well” – sleep, nutrition, or exercise. But mine was different – I wanted to be more out and visible on campus by the end of the year. Here’s the rub: we had to write our goals down and give them to Laura, and then we had to discuss them with the other Wellness members. “Oh, what a perfect opportunity to start achieving your goal, Jennifer!” you might exclaim. Well, yes and no. It definitely would have given me a jump start. But, you see, I wasn’t ready yet – I had only just met some of these people, and I didn’t know their views about LGBTQ people/issues. Furthermore, I didn’t really want to be “that queer girl” – I am so much more than my sexuality. So, I compromised – I wrote down my real goal, but I made up a fake one to tell the other Wellness members. However, at that moment I decided that I had to tell my roommate as soon as possible.

When we returned from the retreat, I asked my RA for a Roommate Agreement Form – the one that you can use to inform your roommate about your sleep and study habits, as well as to make some of the other compromises that come with sharing a room (such a cunning plan for setting the stage, I know). My roommate, K, and I went over that form together – we had pretty similar habits, so that wouldn’t be a source of conflict. We came to the last question, which was a prompt for either of us to voice any concerns or information not covered in the questionnaire. At that point, I came out to her and then said something like, “I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable, but if it does, there’s still time to make a roommate change.” I was so nervous, y’all; K was really nice and seemed like she would be a great roommate, but we didn’t really know each other. You know what her response was when I told her that I was queer? “Oh, I kind of figured.” And that was it! Well, not really – throughout the year, I realized that she was a) such a good Ally, and b) totally willing to discuss LGBTQ/feminist/civil rights issues with me. Awesome, right? I couldn’t ask for a better roommate, or a better friend! Her fabulous response and support encouraged me to work towards achieving my SMART Goal, and that coming-out experience was the first of many. They haven't really gotten easier, but I now know that there are so many people, from so many different groups on campus, who are supportive and wonderful.

(P.S. It would be awesome if you wanted to share some of your stories, either in the comments or as submissions to WOMYN. The womynatduke@gmail.com Inbox is achingly empty - last year's submissions are desperate for some young, hip company! You know, WOMYN is kind of like Google+ : magazines need submissions like social networks need people. Otherwise, neither of them is very fun.)

WOMYN Wednesday!

Happy Wednesday, everyone! So, WOMYN Wednesday was on a slightly unexpected hiatus last week, but it's back with an extremely serious question for you:

What is your favorite queer hangout in Durham?

As you should know by now, Durham is pretty queer, and it’s awesome. It took me a long time to realize just how awesome, because I am super-nerdy and am usually in the library or in my room, studying. I’m also not good at bars or clubs, because I don’t drink much, and I cannot dance to save my life (ask anyone). Fortunately for me, there are other options when I want to be surrounded by queer people. (Note: I’m using "queer" as a kind of catch-all term, because I don't want to leave anyone in the LGBTQA community out of this discussion.)

So, WOMYN wants to know just where you like to spend your weekends/weekdays/spare time/life. Filling out this very short survey is practically a public service, y’all – just think about those of us who are still in the dark about Durham. You can dispel that darkness, right here, right now!

And, after you’ve taken the survey, please send your submissions to WOMYN at womynatduke@gmail.com! Your perspectives are both welcome and necessary, because without you as part of the WOMYN team, this magazine would not be the amazing publication that it is and can continue to be!

WOMYN Wednesday - Sort of

Hello, everyone. So, it’s WOMYN Wednesday, but things have been totally crazy this week, so I don’t have a super-awesome new poll for you. Next week, though, I promise! In the meantime, I hope you’re writing your fantabulous submissions for WOMYN! Your voices are crucial to the success of this magazine, and we really want to help you spread the word about your ideas and experiences. Please send your amazing work to womynatduke@gmail.com!

In lieu of a poll, perhaps you would be interested in some pictures of some absolutely fabulous queer women, courtesy of autostraddle.com? If you’ve already seen them, well, it can’t hurt to look again, right?

WOMYN Wednesday

Happy Wednesday, y’all! Just to remind you, submissions to WOMYN’s second issue are due September 16, 2011! We’re super-excited about this issue – it’s going to be so awesome, because all of you are awesome, and so are your submissions (without your voices, WOMYN’s awesomeness quotient is going to suffer, though. Just sayin’.) So please send your poetry, prose, cartoons, photographs, etc. to womynatduke@gmail.com!!! And now, it’s time for the first WOMYN Wednesday Poll of the summer:

Do you feel comfortable coming to the LGBT Center?

(Click here to take survey)

Although this question isn’t directed specifically or exclusively to queer women, it’s an important question to ask, because it applies to everyone, queer or not.

There’s been a lot of discussion this past year, both on and off the BDU Blog, about the LGBT Center at Duke. In fact, at times this discussion has approached argument status, mostly due to the apparently polarizing nature of this space on campus. (Disclaimer: the following is based on what the writer, Jennifer, has seen/heard, and should not be taken as a reflection of anyone else’s experience or opinion.)

The Duke LGBT community is made up of many different kinds of people – some are very active, out, and open, while others are not. Many of the most out and open members are often the most vocal and visible LGBT people to the rest of the Duke community. (And let’s not forget the awesome allies who stand beside us – they’re one of the As in LGBTQQIAA, and their support and advocacy makes a positive impact every day.) A significant number of these members of the LGBT community tend to hang out in the Center on a regular basis, whether it’s for Fab Friday, for one of the several discussion groups hosted by the Center, or just to do homework, surf the web, and chat with friends. These people are sometimes referred to as “The Community” or “The Center Gays,” usually in a negative context.

There are other LGBT people here at Duke who do not regularly come to the Center. That’s fine – that’s awesome, in fact. Coming to the Center is not a requirement, and far be it from anyone to force others to go anywhere against their will. Sometimes the Center seems downright scary, especially for those who are questioning, closeted, or new to Duke. Some might see the Center as superfluous or confining.

The fact that there is such a division (these two groups are broad generalizations) within Duke’s LGBT community is not bad, nor is it unexpected. But sometimes we seem a mere hop, skip, and jump away from a really hurtful conflict, which is bad. A blog post addressing this issue happened earlier this year, as did some discussions in comments on the blog. There was even a meeting about it. However, after some comments on the Anonymous Posts this week, it appears that we haven’t yet resolved the discussion. So, please take the survey – your responses will be a helpful addition to the discussion. (Do avoid any obviously inflammatory language in your comments, both on this post and within the survey – the survey is not meant to start an argument. On the contrary, we want a constructive conversation, so that there will be no need to discuss this issue further. )

On Teamwork

[Editor's Note: Welcome to our newest blogger, Jennifer! Jennifer is the current editor of WOMYN, Duke's Magazine by and for queer women and their allies. The magazine launched during the fall of this past school year. Be sure to stop by the LGBT Center to check out a copy of it if you weren't fortunate enough to grab one hot off the press. And be sure to submit your own reflections and experiences by emailing womynatduke@gmail.com. In addition to writing about things from her own life, Jennifer will be bringing sexy WOMYN Wednesdays back!!]

Hey, everyone! I’m Jennifer, and I’ve finally been convinced to write for this amazing blog, so I’ll try to introduce myself in this post. It took a little while for me to agree to write for the BDU Blog, but my hesitation was (at the time) for some legitimate reasons. Like many LGBTQA people, I have been fearful of the reactions I might get for coming out or being outed. A great deal of that fear has been directed towards my family, because the messages I received about gay people when I was growing up were extraordinarily negative, and those messages haven’t stopped. So, I’m not out to any of my family, not even to my little sister, which keeps me safe but also makes me very sad. However, I’ve been lucky enough to find another family here at Duke and in Durham. My new family is full of wonderful, beautiful people – people who are as different from or as similar to me as I can imagine, and everything in between.

In my opinion, a family is like a team – we work together for some common goals, like making the family more welcoming and positive, and the love we have for each other makes cooperation easier. This blog is one example of the amazing things that happen with love, dedication, and teamwork, and I feel honored to write for it. I’m also the member of another team: WOMYN Magazine. Katherinne Silva, Robert Kollenberg, and I make up the Editorial Team, and together with you and your voices (because you’re part of the WOMYN team as well!) we want to make the LGBTQA Community a more visible part of Duke.

Megan Weinand, Jack Grote, and Summer Puente, the original Editorial Team (with the help of the ever-fantastic Dr. Janie Long), did something groundbreaking by starting WOMYN, and the current editors need your help to publish the next issue, because without you, there isn’t a magazine. In fact, as part of my contribution to the blog, I want to restart WOMYN Wednesday – WOMYN really needs your submissions and your input, and hopefully WOMYN Wednesday will give you even more ways to contribute. A quick word about submissions: the deadline for submitting to the next issue is September 16, 2011, and if you’re affiliated with Duke – a student, staff member, faculty member, or alum – you’re eligible to submit! We accept anonymous submissions, and we adhere to a strict code of confidentiality. You can submit anything: a photo, a comic strip, a poem, a prose piece – if you can email it (or a representation of it) to womynatduke@gmail.com, we’ll submit it to our Review Board. The only thing that we ask is that it has a focus on queer women and/or queer women’s issues. Additionally, we would love to have ideas for an awesome cover design for this issue. You are the ones who make this magazine, and if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact us at the WOMYN email address listed above.

However, Wednesdays won’t always just be about WOMYN; both this blog and WOMYN are forums where we can tell our stories, analyze movies, poems, YouTube videos, and political power-plays, share our secrets, and help each other ask and answer difficult questions. So, I hope that I can share more of my story on this blog, and that you will feel comfortable sharing your voices with the Community by submitting to WOMYN.