February 27, 2012

Anonymous Posts (2.20.12-2.27.12)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks, hate speech, or express or insinuate that one is at risk for hurting themselves or someone else. Please read this for an explanation of this policy and seek help if your or a friend find yourself in that position. With those exceptions aside, please feel free to submit your thoughts and questions. :)


Next up, Duke Together had a great kick off rally on Friday.

Finally, notes from OC.

I am a straight female who has a large number of homosexual friends. One of my friends, a lesbian woman, has been hitting on me for a while and I feel incredibly uncomfortable, and this has pervaded even after I have told her I am not interested. How do I handle this situation?

#pretty cool

My best friend is coming out to visit for his spring break...I promised him I'd take him to a gay club, but I'm having trouble finding one around durham...any suggestions?

Please remember that there are a number of resources available on campus and in the local community. These resources are available over breaks and throughout the school year. If you or a friend are experiencing thoughts or urges to harm yourself or somebody else, please reach out to the following resources: In an emergency, please don't hesitate to call CAPS at any time, including "after hours" at (919) 966-3820. Ask to speak to the advice nurse and tell them you are a Duke student. You may also call the Trevor Project, a national hotline specifically for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer and questioning youth (college students included). Their number is 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).


  1. #1 That's a slightly awkward situation. I mean if you aren't into her, you aren't into her. If she is still coming on even when you've told her you are straight, maybe have a friend work as an intermediary to drive home the point? You don't really want to compromise your friendship but it seems there is a bit of a misunderstanding there as of now.

  2. #3 Legends in Raleigh or The Bar in Durham are two decent options.

  3. Definitely Legends in Raleigh...nowhere else is nearly as fun in my opinion :)

  4. my best friend here at duke is straight and I am gay. I let her know that I was interested in her and her way of turning me down was telling me a couple of days later that she tried girls but didn't like it. It was a very subtle turndown but I got the picture. If your way of turning down your friend was equally subtle maybe ur friend didn't catch on (or is so into you that she didn't want to catch on). So maybe try being more blunt. Don't be afraid of upsetting her, I'm always appreciative of straight girls that openly turn me down rather than lead me on.

  5. legends has the best dragshows and probably the biggest crowd. lots of energy, lots of dancing. the bar durham has the best selection of music. Stir is good, if you're of age. And it's closer than Raleigh.

  6. #1 - if you don't mind me asking, what has she down to repeatedly hit on you? Is this overt hitting on you, or does she have a sort of flirty personality? I wonder if she's purposefully continuing to hit on you or if her actions are just friendliness. it's difficult to know exactly though without knowing what she keeps doing to hit on you. I'm sorry this is happening, awkwardness in any situation is always stressful.

  7. 3.

    1 - Legends. Really fun place, with a way diverse crowd (of men, anyway)
    2 - The Bar in Durham is usually a lesbian scene. When they have college nights it gets to 50-50 but otherwise your friend might be disappointed if he's looking for guys.
    3 - East End in Chapel hill is a kinda cheesy martini bar that has a gay night on Sundays. If you're going to travel, it's worth the extra distance to go to Legends.

  8. Hey #3!

    If you're looking specifically in Durham, then The Bar is your best option. It's downtown and has a great atmosphere. If you can get a group of friends to go with you, that'll make it even better. Legends isn't a favorite of mine because it is so far away and kind of expensive to get to if you don't have a car/someone willing to drive you there. East End is a lot of fun and closer than Raleigh, but like others above said, you have to be 21+ and their gay nights are on Sundays.

    Also, there's The Station which is in Carrboro/ right down the street from Chapel Hill. It's not technically a gay bar/club but it is gay friendly (unless things have changed since I last went). I've gone a few times and it's pretty chill.

    My vote would be for The Bar in Durham especially if you are under 21. It's a lot closer, making transportation a lot easier and cheaper. Unfortunately, the triangle area doesn't have that many options in the way of gay bars/clubs but I believe you can have a great time anywhere you go as long as you have a great group of friends with you.

    And, if all else fails, Shooters! (but actually, I kinda love that place)

  9. Snaps to Anon at 7:49. I completely agree.