June 13, 2011

Anonymous Posts (6.6.11-6.12.11)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks, hate speech, or express or insinuate that one is at risk for hurting themselves or someone else. Please read this for an explanation of this policy and seek help if your or a http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.giffriend find yourself in that position. With those exceptions aside, please feel free to submit your thoughts and questions. :)

My time in Phoenix has been quite swell. I had the immense pleasure of getting coffee with the Duke alumna who serves on the GLSEN National Board (GLSEN=Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network=Sponsor of the Day of Silence and lots of other awesome things).

But alas, all good things must come to an end. Therefore, I left this morning to head off to outdoor adventure camp in Colorado where I'll be a counselor, an excursion trip leader, and a duathlete the resident feminist and LGBTQA community member.

I've gotta say that things around here are going awfully well. After a slow start to the summer, our writers have really picked it up and shared some inspiring stuff for the second straight week. (Good job, bloggers!) To recap: Jacob started thttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifhings off by sharing a conversation that he and his friend, Mehdy, most tragically will never be able to finish. Next up, Jennifer wished us all a happy WOMYN Wednesday. On Thursday we had our first ever Senior Post, which was also our first ever post about poly relationships and casual sex (Hi, 2011ers! We still want you!!!). Then yesterday, I came out of the closet, or something?

Of course, some of the most exciting posts we receive come from you, readers! Check out our anonymous posts below!

I am a (gay) prospective student, and Duke is my top choice. It is nice to see that there is a thriving community at Duke supportive of LGBTQ students. I do not fit most steroetypes of gay men, and I do not like the idea of being identified only by my sexuality. I plan on rushing a fraternity, and will be very upfront with my sexuality from the beginning. This blog and other research about gay life at Duke has made me confident that I will find a fraternity, or atleast a niche at the school, that is right for me.

People use the Bible to attack homosexuality, yet most of the time those same verses can be interpreted in a way that condones being gay. How can we even know if being gay is okay or not when we base it on something as subjective as human interpretation of God's word, which is something we clearly will never fully understand. Is there just a straightforward answer out there? I'm tired of wondering whether or not me liking girls is gonna send me to hell!

This one if for all the girls on here....where the heck do u find a girlfriend at Duke? I think meeting girls in gay clubs is kinda sketch...but is that really the only option??

Please remember that there are a number of resources available on campus and in the local community. These resources are available over summer, too! If you or a friend are experiencing thoughts or urges to harm yourself or somebody else, please reach out to the following resources: In an emergency, please don't hesitate to call CAPS at any time, including "after hours" at (919) 966-3820. Ask to speak to the advice nurse and tell them you are a Duke student. You may also call the Trevor Project, a national hotline specifically for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer and questioning youth (college students included). Their number is 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).


  1. #3. Yo, numba three. I also think picking up women is bars is not for me. Women Loving Women is a great way to meet folks, and each person typically has their own friend group so it opens up a huge opportunity to make new friends.

    Also, I'm totally biased and I don't know what kind of women you like, but Durham queers are where it's at soooo get at me if you want a buddy to introduce you.

  2. To #2, most uses of the Bible to attack homosexuals are wrong. Not simply morally wrong (IMHO), but textually wrong and all the more so when applied to women. The Jewish Bible at no point condemns any sort of female homosexual behavior and the Christian Bible verses attacking homosexuality are almost always taken out of context or mistranslated. So if you're going by the Bible, don't sweat it.

  3. #1: duke is great with accepting lgbtq persons, but there is definitely a Community (note the capital C) that i find to be rather stifling and stereotypically gay at times. just know that as you're going into things.

  4. "Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law."

    -Romans 13:8

  5. #1: Awesome - you will definitely find a place at Duke, and the fact that you plan to be out from Day 1 is absolutely wonderful.

    #2: Your question is one that many people also struggle with. I tend to subscribe to the view that God, as the supremely good Creator, is incapable of creating anything that is not good. Furthermore, a good God is a loving God. Since humans are believed to be created in God's image, does it not follow that we were created both good and capable of love? Thus, loving anyone can't possibly send you to hell. I hope that helps - I'm not any kind of theologian or minister, so if you need to talk to someone who has such training, I would suggest going to Dr. Janie Long.

  6. @11:55: One would imagine that LGBTQ people anywhere are "stereotypically gay at times," yeah. And that is a ? thing to warn someone about? And kind of marginalizing those who can't/won't pass? Sorry if I'm being Captain Sensitive over here, I'm just sick of this point. It's slippery, and even then there's not too far to fall.

  7. #1
    I think you’ll find large chunks of the Duke community to be extremely supportive. The fear that others will define you solely on the grounds of your sexuality is a pretty common sentiment. Some people place their sexuality at the top of their identifier list while others seek to eliminate it completely. I personally fall somewhere in the middle. I realize it is an important aspect of my life yet I would much rather define myself through the sports I play, the movies I like, the people I hang out with…

    Rush a fraternity, look at selected living groups, join random clubs, and discover everything Duke has to offer. In doing so you’ll find that your sexuality is really as much or as little as you make it out to be.

    I don’t really think you need to be “warned” about anything coming to Duke. Obviously there are people from all walks of life living different lifestyles here. Part of the beauty of college is being able to navigate such a fascinating social scene and finding people who will become some of your best friends for life. You already seem confident and comfortable in your own skin. Just plow full steam ahead and make the best of your next four years.

  8. #3- Anywhere you can meet women, you can meet LGBTQ women! =) I figured that after watching friends at Duke in all sorts of different social and academic circles come out. You just never know!

    But Summer is right-you increase your odds of meeting a LGBTQ women by going to LGBTQ-female specific events, such as Women Loving Women. I'm not sure if you've been before, but even if you didn't necessarily find someone to date, you might meet queer women, and eventually meet friends of theirs who are queer, etc.! It never hurts to plug into the female LGBTQ community at Duke.

    Also, just to touch on the "gay bars" thing-I think this may have dominated the LGBTQ scene more in years past, when it was literally the only place to meet other LGBTQ identified individuals. (There are stories of people driving miles to a different town just so that no one would see them at the LGBTQ bar in their own hometown.) But I think that's changing-we have everything from LGBTQ pet associations to LGBTQ bingo/choir/sports clubs, etc.! This wide array of LGBTQ groups is unfortunately not true for all locations in America (or the international community), but here in the Duke/Durham area you have more LGBTQ venues/orgs. than just LGBTQ bars for your four years.

    Most likely, you'll meet people similar to yourself if you go to events that attract you based on the common association/theme of the group. So what I'd say, is, do what interests you, and you'll naturally find people with a similar interest.

    Good luck!

  9. @anon 11:09. when i was first coming out, i felt like the organized, center-based lgbt community at duke very oppressive, exclusionary, and hurtful. i re-identified...basically i switched labels...and the feeling lifted. i became more comfortable with myself. this is just my experience. i would love to hear more about yours. care to share?

  10. @ anon 2:36- after 3 years at duke, i just feel that the "center-based" community, as you called it, is very alienating b/c it forces me to fit into a mold dominated by loving lady gaga, being friends with a specific group of people, and so on.

    @chris- i did not understand the point you were trying to make about marginalizing; could you elaborate?