Agender at Duke

Hello, everybody. I’m the second person who’ll be writing a post for the lead up to Transgender Day of Remembrance. I don’t identify as Transgender, but I do identify as gender nonconforming. Agender, to be specific. The point of this blog post is to try to give a slight peek into how that affects my daily life.

So I’ll start with the bad parts. First things first, the reason I feel that I have to post this anonymously. Gender variance is far less accepted than sexuality, so though I identify as queer also, I feel the need to keep this part of my identity private. Simply put, I do not feel that I have the desire or strength to put up with an endless stream of questions that pry into some of my most personal feelings and attempt to make me justify my identity. It’s something I’ve observed from the outside many times, that though many people feel entitled to ask deeply personal questions of all LGBTQ people, this holds true to a greater extent for those of us who identify as gender noncomforming.

Of course, my decision to keep my identity private has its downsides too. For example, just because I avoid referring to myself with gender specific pronouns doesn’t mean that everyone else does. As much as like to ignore it, one of the first things people assume about a person is their gender. So, as long as I choose to not tell everyone how I identify, I will simply have to cope with the reality that people will type me incorrectly. That said, I don’t want to give off the impression that my life is terrible, as I have a lot of good going for me as well.

On the plus side, I am out to a decent group of my close friends. They have made every effort to acknowledge my identity and have accepted it without feeling the need or entitlement to pry more information from me than I’m willing to give. It’s thanks to these friends that I’m becoming increasingly secure and comfortable in my own skin, and for that I’m very thankful.

"Make it Better" at Duke

Calling all LGBTQ individuals and allies! We will be partnering with Duke Together, the Center for LGBT Life, Duke ACLU, and Freewater Productions to create a video in the spring semester in the spirit of the "It Gets Better" project.

"The It Gets Better project was created to show young LGBT people the levels of happiness, potential, and positivity their lives will reach -- if they can just get through their teen years. The It Gets Better project wants to remind teenagers in the LGBT community that they are not alone -- and it WILL get better." (www.itgetsbetter.org)

We want to make a video that embodies the spirit of this project, but tailor it to the relevant issues of our community -- Duke, Durham, and the state of NC. We are looking for people to tell their stories; their struggles, their triumphs, and their goals.

This coming May, North Carolinians will be faced with a constitutional amendment that would define marriage as a union between a man and a woman. Not only would this enshrine discrimination in the state's constitution, but it would have a real impact on the Duke community -- the students who currently attend, prospective students, and the many employees of the university. We want to show the people of this state that this is not what NC is about. We want to show students who are considering to attend Duke that this is a welcoming place, no matter their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Our goal: to send the message that "it gets better," but only if we stand up together and fight discrimination on our home turf. We are looking for people from all walks of life: gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, positive stories, stories of hardships overcome, and anything else that speaks to your personal experience with this issue. If you are interested in contributing to a video that could potentially garner attention from the Duke community, citizens of NC, and even the entire nation, please come forward! Send an email to christine.ko@duke.edu to get involved in the video!

Integrity

Campus culture.

We're all a part of it. Most of us live here. Those of us who don't live here spend a great amount of our time here. We go to class,
we eat meals, we interact with faculty, and we attend parties. We're involved in countless organizations, we conduct groundbreaking research, and we push athletic limits.

We drink until we vomit. We'll never be as good as our peers. We reject others based on their position (or lack thereof) in the Greek system. We hurt collective groups of others and hide behind what we think is humor. We discriminate.

It might get better. "Duke isn't the real world."

Was Duke not the real world for the student who was assaulted after an on-campus party? Was Duke not the real world for someone who was rejected time after time for a major factor of identity or for just being themselves? Does all of that pain just go away after four years?

Our actions at Duke matter. The world after Duke is not identical to this university setting, but the effects last.

Those of us who went on Common Ground aren't innocent. Those of us who haven't gone aren't always guilty, either. We're all at fault, but we all have the capacity to change, to grow.

We can all use this time in which so much discussion and debate is developing between communities as well as within communities to learn and to express. We can use this time to take a stand for that which we wish social life at Duke could be. It's time to act on what we say we want to do in the comment sections of this blog, the Chronicle, and Develle Dish.

What do you value? What is it that you want? What do you think others want from you?

Whatever that may be:

Dear Duke guys world,

It's time for you to live in integrity.

Trying Out

[Editor's note: Please welcome Cameron T to the blog!]

Author’s note: I am by no means condoning the playing of/listening to Hannah Montana by referencing one of her songs in this post. I want to make that very clear.

Since my arrival at Duke, I feel as though I’ve been trying out. No, dear reader, I don’t mean I’ve been gallivanting around attempting to join every group on campus in a desperate attempt to satiate my need for social stimulation. I mean trying out for acceptance – both within and without the LGBT community. I came to Duke with many unresolved questions in mind – Should I come out immediately? If so, how 'gay' should I be? If not, then when should I come out? Was it possible to have the *ahem* beeeeest of both worlds – being open with my LGBT friends and yet maintaining some privacy with the rest of the world? #ThanksHannah. In retrospect, I see that those questions were downright silly. Since I wasn’t out in high school, I felt as though my transition into college life would be a defining moment for how I would live for the next four years.

Needless to say, I chose to rip off the proverbial Band-Aid and enter college as an openly gay man. My reception and continuing integration into the community has been interesting to say the least.

Community is a curious word. The dictionary defines it as a social, religious, occupational, or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived or perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists. The LGBT community at Duke is (or should be) about more than the mere fact that its members all identify as LGBT. Isn’t it supposed to be about supporting and loving each other?

One of the things I’ve noticed most about our community is a seemingly ever-present sense of comparison of between individuals’ ‘levels of gayness.’ I’ve heard of people being ‘too gay, ‘not even counting [as gay],’ and being ‘not gay enough.’ During a bus ride a few weeks ago, a member of our community glanced at me, turned to his female friend, and unabashedly stated, “If I ever get that gay, shoot me.” Another member of our community once told me that he reads the BDU blog just to laugh at it. When a community which claims to value diversity mocks its own, it has far-reaching implications. I would even go so far as to say that it gives tacit consent to be mocked by those outside of the community.

So why then is there such factionalism within our little community? If being part of the community is all about what makes us alike, then why do we tend to focus so much on what’s different? Yes, I understand that there is a need for everyone to be an individual, but I am unsure why (completely unmerited and ridiculously contrived) varying ‘degrees’ of homosexuality seem to be so heavily emphasized.

I have to reject the notion that gender expression and sexuality are synonymous. Actions (watching football or liking to shop for example) are not gendered, and do not, in and of themselves, say anything about one's sexual preference. The fact that we think of certain actions as being more masculine or feminine than others is a mere reflection of societal constraints on gender. We need to rethink our notions of what it means to be ‘gay’ – in a community that strives to be as inclusive as possible there’s no room for such internal bias and exclusivity.

NC State Vandalism

Around 9:20pm on Monday, October 17th, North Carolina State's GLBT Center was defaced. This marks the second time this semester that the GLBT Center at NCSU has been vandalized. The LGBTQA community at Duke and Blue Devils United stands in solidarity with our friends at NC State as they look for the person(s) responsible for this act and implement policies to protect their community from here on out. If you have any information about this incident, please email glbtca@gmail.com.

Coverage (links updated as we see them):

NC State Technician

Towleroad

WRAL

Equality North Carolina

NBC 17

Love=Love Candelight Vigil Wrapup

[Ed. Note: Last year, we started to recap BDU and Center events with pictures and firsthand accounts. On Monday Night, Duke hosted a candelight vigil (Chronicle coverage here)to protest the anti-LGBT amendment that was recently passed in the N.C. state legislature (at the time of the vigil, the House of Representatives had passed it and the Senate had not yet voted). By clearing the NC General Assembly, the amendment will appear on the ballot in May. Read more about the bill here, and if you've registered to vote in N.C., and join the FB group to figure out what you can do to stop this bill from becoming a N.C. constitutional amendment. A friend of the blog, Sarah, was awesome enough to share her thoughts with us. You can read more about the vigil at Pam's House Blend. I also recommend reading Megan's remarks, watching Dean of Duke Chapel, Sam Wells's speech (see video below, text here), and checking out sophomore student and NC-native Ryan's reflection on what the marriage amendment means to him. Also, special thanks to Chelsea and Ollie for lending us the use of their photos and to Jess Evans and the student volunteers for coordinating the vigil!]

For my first vigil, the experience was subtle, hushed, but lifted me off my feet. It was like a breath of fresh air after being submerged in water for a slight period. There’s something heavy in the exertion as your chest burns with the contractions and expansion of your exhausted lungs. The burn came from my ignited candle, and that heavy something was indescribable in the wake of the moment. Though I had my mind half working on distributing candles and half catching the quiet, poignant, powerful words released into the wind and into the opened hearts of everyone participating, I could tell something shifted in me, around me. We are united; we don’t support this intrusion of one’s choices. Were we not a country opposed to such invasive cruelty? Was this country not incepted because select individuals refused to recognize our rights as human beings? Reverend Dr. Sam Wells put it quite eloquently: “Our nation’s Constitution doesn’t regard these qualities of our national life to be controversial, or even up for debate. It holds them to be self-evident. Self-evident.”


Monday night, we showed Duke University, we showed Durham, and in extension, we showed legislators of the state of North Carolina, that we cannot deny these rights simply because of these notions of marginalization. For many of us, North Carolina has allowed us to be ourselves, perhaps even for the very first time of our lives. And although I submit this in omission for various and personal reasons, know this: This state is my home, you cannot take that away from me. To see people rallying together against a bill that doesn’t take into the consideration of everyone here encourages me every day to be far more courageous than I was three, five, ten years ago. That night I felt overwhelmed, brilliant, like I belonged, like coming home.


Video of Dean Wells's speech begins at 3:00, courtsey of Pam's House Blend.

What the Marriage Amendment Means to Me

[Ed. Note: On Monday Night, Duke hosted a candelight vigil (Chronicle coverage here)to protest the anti-LGBT amendment that was recently passed in the N.C. state legislature (at the time of the vigil, the House of Representatives had passed it and the Senate had not yet voted). By clearing the NC General Assembly, the amendment will appear on the ballot in May. Read more about the bill here, and if you've registered to vote in N.C., and join the FB group to figure out what you can do to stop this bill from becoming a N.C. constitutional amendment. Below are Ryan's reflections on what the marriage amendment means to him. Ryan is a second-year student and a North Carolina native. You can read Sarah's thoughts on the vigil here and more about the vigil at Pam's House Blend. I also recommend reading Megan's remarks and watching Dean of Duke Chapel, Sam Wells's speech (see video in post above, text here).]


Good evening everyone. My name is Ryan and I’m a second year student here at Duke. I’d like to share some thoughts with everyone on this amendment, as a resident of NC, an LGBT identified man, and as a concerned citizen. To me, this so called “Defense of Marriage” bill is more than just a redundant amendment that only recognizes marriages between two people of the opposite sex. Instead, it will marginalize LGBT identified individuals who are already considered second class citizens. As you may well know, this amendment will guarantee that domestic partners will not be eligible for healthcare and insurance benefits. Even more so, it seeks to undermine what little progress which has been made to curve discrimination against LGBT identified individuals in North Carolina. As a resident of North Carolina, I can attest to the volatile political climate relating to LGBT issues.

While Duke and Chapel Hill are incredibly progressive and welcoming of LGBT individuals, my own observations of attending public school in Winston-Salem for 13 years were anything but welcoming. Sexual identity and health as it pertains to same-sex couples was never treated in the classroom. LGBT issues were never discussed as the topics were considered taboo. Friends from my High school wanted to create a Gay-Straight alliance, but were faced by such avid and open opposition by several members of the school’s administration that no teacher was willing to head the club for fear of losing their job. Attending such a school discouraged me from exploring my own identity as a gay man and prevented me from making a connection with what was a nonexistent community.

Coming to Duke, where rainbow flags hang from windows and nobody seems to care about who you love, my eyes have been opened to a potential world where I don’t have to be ashamed of who I am. To me this bill means more than being prevented by a law that is already in place to marry my future partner or even not being able to receive benefits from my partner’s employer. Instead, this bill means that North Carolina, the state in which I’ve been raised in and have called home for the past 17 years, no longer welcomes me. And I just won’t have that.

Anonymous Posts (8.30.11-9.5.11)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks, hate speech, or express or insinuate that one is at risk for hurting themselves or someone else. Please read this for an explanation of this policy and seek help if your or a friend find yourself in that position. With those exceptions aside, please feel free to submit your thoughts and questions. :)

Congratulations on making it all the way through FWOC (first week of classes)! I sincerely hope that everyone is feeling settled and finding your way around campus successfully.

Things are starting to get busy around here, so be sure to stay tuned for announcements and lots of regularly updated content!

The first Blue Devils United (the student group that sponsors this blog!) meeting of the semester is on Wednesday at 5:30 in the LGBT Center (02 West Union/right under the loop).

There will be a BDU BlOG Meeting on Thursday at 9, location TBA. WE'RE LOOKING FOR NEW WRITERS OF ALL YEARS! You need not identify as anything other than a member of the LGBTQ and Ally Community.We'll be brainstorming how to make this blog even better, setting up new accounts for new writers and a posting schedule. So come one, come all--email Risa with questions/concerns/etc.

Women Loving Women and Athletes United also meet for the first time of the year this week.
*WLW: Thursday, 6-8pm, LGBT Center.
*Athletes United (varsity athletes only, please!): Sunday (11th), 6-7pm, LGBT Center.

Be sure to check out the first Fab Friday of the year (on Friday, duh). 4-6pm in the Center.

Now for your anonymous posts!

#1
I saw two guys walking and holding hands on campus today (and not as a joke). Things are looking pretty good this year!

#2
Help out a clueless frosh: where's the LGBT-friendly nightlife on campus? I haven't been able to find anywhere where loud music and irresponsible decisions aren't paired with super-straight hookup culture.

#3
For me, high school was a mess my senior year. Fell in love with my best friend, quasi dated her and as most lesbians can tell you...it ended badly. Freshmen year I stayed closeted and in the summer I decided maybe I'm just not gay. I have an emotional attraction to other girls and my attraction to guys varies from physical to nonexistent. The only things keeping me from pursuing other girls are religion and my parents. Both disapprove of homosexuality. I find myself trying to be straight (and failing a lot) while wanting to be gay.But, at the same time I wonder how I could possibly be gay when I don't really want to have sex with other girls. Whenever I'm really excited/happy about something going great in my life I'm always like "see I don't need to be gay I'm happy right now" but other times I find myself wanting to know why it's not ok for me to live how I want. Hell, I've never had a real girlfriend so I don't even know if I am gay. I guess in a nutshell, I want to try dating other girls because I really think I'm gay, but I don't want the punishment from God or the wrath of my parents that would go along with that. I also don't want to hurt anyone or make them feel like I'm using them just to find out if I'm gay. But really, isn't dating another girl the only way to find out?. Basically, I'm questioning, it sucks, and right now the only people I complain to are complete strangers via a computer screen (no offense :])

/>Please remember that there are a number of resources available on campus and in the local community. These resources are available over breaks and throughout the school year. If you or a friend are experiencing thoughts or urges to harm yourself or somebody else, please reach out to the following resources: In an emergency, please don't hesitate to call CAPS at any time, including "after hours" at (919) 966-3820. Ask to speak to the advice nurse and tell them you are a Duke student. You may also call the Trevor Project, a national hotline specifically for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer and questioning youth (college students included). Their number is 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).

Anonymous Posts (6.6.11-6.12.11)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks, hate speech, or express or insinuate that one is at risk for hurting themselves or someone else. Please read this for an explanation of this policy and seek help if your or a http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.giffriend find yourself in that position. With those exceptions aside, please feel free to submit your thoughts and questions. :)
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
WAZZUP BDU BLOG!?

My time in Phoenix has been quite swell. I had the immense pleasure of getting coffee with the Duke alumna who serves on the GLSEN National Board (GLSEN=Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network=Sponsor of the Day of Silence and lots of other awesome things).

But alas, all good things must come to an end. Therefore, I left this morning to head off to outdoor adventure camp in Colorado where I'll be a counselor, an excursion trip leader, and a duathlete the resident feminist and LGBTQA community member.

I've gotta say that things around here are going awfully well. After a slow start to the summer, our writers have really picked it up and shared some inspiring stuff for the second straight week. (Good job, bloggers!) To recap: Jacob started thttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifhings off by sharing a conversation that he and his friend, Mehdy, most tragically will never be able to finish. Next up, Jennifer wished us all a happy WOMYN Wednesday. On Thursday we had our first ever Senior Post, which was also our first ever post about poly relationships and casual sex (Hi, 2011ers! We still want you!!!). Then yesterday, I came out of the closet, or something?

Of course, some of the most exciting posts we receive come from you, readers! Check out our anonymous posts below!

#1
I am a (gay) prospective student, and Duke is my top choice. It is nice to see that there is a thriving community at Duke supportive of LGBTQ students. I do not fit most steroetypes of gay men, and I do not like the idea of being identified only by my sexuality. I plan on rushing a fraternity, and will be very upfront with my sexuality from the beginning. This blog and other research about gay life at Duke has made me confident that I will find a fraternity, or atleast a niche at the school, that is right for me.

#2
People use the Bible to attack homosexuality, yet most of the time those same verses can be interpreted in a way that condones being gay. How can we even know if being gay is okay or not when we base it on something as subjective as human interpretation of God's word, which is something we clearly will never fully understand. Is there just a straightforward answer out there? I'm tired of wondering whether or not me liking girls is gonna send me to hell!

#3
This one if for all the girls on here....where the heck do u find a girlfriend at Duke? I think meeting girls in gay clubs is kinda sketch...but is that really the only option??

Please remember that there are a number of resources available on campus and in the local community. These resources are available over summer, too! If you or a friend are experiencing thoughts or urges to harm yourself or somebody else, please reach out to the following resources: In an emergency, please don't hesitate to call CAPS at any time, including "after hours" at (919) 966-3820. Ask to speak to the advice nurse and tell them you are a Duke student. You may also call the Trevor Project, a national hotline specifically for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer and questioning youth (college students included). Their number is 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).

"Duke Gay"

I was offered admission to Duke University exactly one year ago today, but at the time I was justifiably concerned about a different kind of acceptance.

At 5:00 pm, I found out of my acceptance and by 5:01 I was wondering about LGBT life at Duke. The first phrase I searched on the internet was the first that came to mind: “Duke gay.” Whether this reflects my poor knowledge of Google’s search algorithms or simply my nervous excitement, I’m not sure.

What was I looking for? I’m not sure. I’ll tell you what I’ve since found, though.

Duke’s Center for LGBT Life is a great resource and the students that frequent it form a great community. Duke has many LGBT students representing all backgrounds. How many students? I won’t lie and say that we’re a Yale or a Smith, but there are enough students for a diverse, strong, and outspoken community. There are alternatives to this community, though—many openly LGBT students don’t have anything to do with the Center and are perfectly happy. The LGBT dating scene is strong, though the LGBT hookup scene is stronger. But that’s just college, right?

Openly gay students rarely rush fraternities and sororities, but it isn’t unheard of. Selective living groups—typically coed and accepting—are popular alternatives to Greek life, providing networking opportunities and social outlets without rigid gender roles or a stressful rush process.

While there is always room for improvement, the Administration has a history of LGBT support. In addition to funding the Center for LGBT life, it maintains a strong anti-discrimination policy inclusive of sexual orientation. That chapel you’ve seen or heard so much about? Yeah, it hosts same-sex ceremonies.

And don’t write Duke off, like I almost did, just because it’s in the South. Duke is in Durham, which has recently been crowned the Lesbian Capital of the South. Not lesbian? That’s okay, too- Durham, along with Raleigh and Chapel Hill form a region known as the Research Triangle, a moderately liberal oasis within the Bible-Belt. In 2009, openly gay Town Councilman Mark Kleinshmidt ran for and won the office of Mayor of Chapel Hill, which I see as a positive indicator of the region’s social progressiveness.

If you’ve recently been accepted to Duke University, I extend my congratulations. I hope this post and this blog are helpful to you and I encourage you to ask any questions you may have in the comment section. I also recommend that you attend Blue Devil Days to get a feel for campus culture, academic, social, and otherwise.

Oh, and did I mention that NC Pride ran right past my dorm last September?

Flamboyance, Visibility

It’s been a long time since I’ve written, and for that I apologize. I’ve been busy working with RENT (which everyone should see, by the way! visit rentatduke.com for details), but that’s not a sufficient excuse.

I write today on the same topic I began writing on in January (and never completed): the dark, strange, and often counterintuitive world of “visibility.”

What exactly do I mean by that? What do we even have to gain from visibility?

Let’s call visibility, for now, “the extent to which an average person who is making no deliberate efforts to encounter nor avoid exposure to unambiguously LGBTQ individuals or information.” Blegh, that's a mouthful.

I’m trying to say that being LGBTQ isn’t like being, say, female. Or east Asian. Or anything else that’s usually, though not always nor exclusively, visibly determined. You can’t look at someone and just know that s/he is gay or queer or a 2 on the Kinsey scale or however else a person might identify. And even the fact that I have to word it that way hints at some of the additional complexities, because there isn’t any definitive test to tell people (or yourself, or your parents) exactly what it is you are (trust me, I wish there were). Plenty of people identify as something either misleading or not entirely straightforward—whether the typically ambiguous queer or the closeted folks who still list themselves as “Interested In” the opposite gender—not to say that most of them don’t have excellent reasons, because they usually do.

But it would be a mistake to pretend that everything is suddenly simple as soon as a person has made the crucial (and bold, and terrifying, and wonderful, and everything else) step of saying, “Hello, world! I’m gay!” Sexuality can change. Situations change. Maybe you’ve just moved to Florida and suddenly realize you can be fired for being gay, which can and does happen all the time, so you decide to go back into the closet until the world suddenly becomes a better, warmer, more loving place (hah, I wish).

This… freedom of self-identification, however, is at least a little bit troubling. Maybe it’s just me, but I think sexuality is a pretty fundamental thing. And knowing that how you fundamentally understand yourself—not only how you tell others whom and what you are but also what exactly you tell you about yourself—can change… that’s terrifying to me.

A while back I went through a phase where I really admired individuals who were, say, flamboyantly gay, who made sure there was no doubt in anyone’s mind just exactly how they identified. To some extents, I still do. While it seems like so many of us do our best to blend in, these people put it all on the line and show the world a side of things it probably doesn’t often get to see, unless we’re talking about NYC or Portland or Seattle or San Francisco or some other gay mecca. One of the big talking points at our last BDU meeting was that people don’t feel like the LGBTQ community at Duke is visible.

Are we? Aren’t we? How do we get there? Do we turn ourselves into monuments of fabulousness? It’s certainly a possibility. Do we alter our hairstyles, our clothing, our speech? Do we put up posters saying, “Hey! The gays are here, even if you can’t see them. Don’t put us down?” All of this just seems unfair. Why should I have to make myself visibly gay? How is this still an issue?

What this boils down to for me is this: I don’t necessarily want to fit in, but I don’t want to have to stand out. This week is our Anti-Hate Speech Campaign here at Duke. Earlier in the week we had given out rainbow ribbons until we ran out of them. The next day, I repinned my ribbon to my shirt and went about my business. First stop of the day, coffee. My barista says, “What’s that for? Is it Pride day or something?” I explained the campaign to him, but being the only one wearing a ribbon that day, I felt like I stuck out terribly. I suppose the purpose of the ribbon is to open dialogue. It just feels… uncomfortable to stand out so boldly.

But what am I afraid of? Am I afraid of being perceived as gay? I mean, not really, because I am. All the same, there’s a huge fear of appearing too flamboyant and I can’t even convey exactly why that is.

I’m not trying to blend in, but I don’t think I should have to stand out to be recognized. For now, I suppose the only way to get where I’d like to get is to stand out. If some people don’t want to view the LGBTQ community as full people, then I guess I’m willing to make sacrifices until they will. But it’s a thin line to tread—it seems like I’m expected to show that that I’m gay, but I’m also “cool” or “normal” or maybe even just “not weird…” whatever it is I need to seem like to win that person over. But I don’t believe in that either!

There can be little doubt that I’m actually quite weird. I’m an eccentric, strange, sometimes difficult-to-tolerate person. I’m also exceptional in a number of ways. But none of that has anything to do with the fact that I’m gay, and it just seems silly to me by now that anyone would think it would.

So… standing out? I’ll do it, I guess. Through rainbow ribbons and involvement and posters if not through clothing. It just doesn’t feel fair. Here I am, little old Matt, winning over the world one person at a time. At least I can say that, here at Duke, I know I’m not doing it alone. But for what it’s worth, I’ll say that I think if you’re not fighting, you’re wasting your time. Do it. Fight. From the protection of your closet if need be. Just do it.

Anti-Hate Speech Campaign Photo Shoot!!

Calling all BDUers or LGBT and Ally Identified Students at Duke!!

You may know that a committee of BDU has been working on an anti-hate speech campaign. Well, we've got it mostly figured out. And now we need your help to make it come to fruition!

We've chosen to use black/gray scale and purple (cause purple is just the best color, is there any question about that?). We'll have three different posters (see below). The campaign tag line is: Hate speech hurts. No homo(phobia).

Poster 1) Some posters will be modeled after GLSEN's "Think B4 You Speak" Campaign. We'll be using the definition theme. We've chosed to create posters for "fag" and "dyke." GLSEN's definition posters are pictured below:

Poster 2) Some posters will feature two people with talking bubbles. Person A's talking bubble says "oh dude nice shoes...no homo" and Person B's talking bubble says "yeah, that ignorance really brings out your eyes."

Poster 3) Some posters will feature students like YOU. They will be formatted like GLSEN's (see picture below), but the text will say: "I'm gay. Your homework isn't." or "I'm gay. Your test isn't."

THE PHOTO SHOOT FOR THE ABOVE POSTER IS TODAY. AFTER THE BDU MEETING. AT THE CENTER FOR LGBT LIFE (02 WEST UNION).

PLEASE WEAR A PURPLE SHIRT AND JEANS. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A PURPLE SHIRT PLEASE WEAR A BLACK ONE.

THANK YOU,

Brandy, Cody, Matt, Aliza, Risa, and Alyssa

A Lunchtime Conversation with Activist and Openly Bisexual Legislator Kyrsten Sinema

Interested in politics? Learning about the ONLY campaign which defeated an anti-same sex marriage initiative? Talking with an openly bisexual public official? Learning about how to build coalitions to advance an LGBT-friendly agenda? Want to talk about growing up in a conservative, religious family?

Then join Blue Devils United and the Center for LGBT Life for a lunchtime conversation with bisexual state legislator and activist Kyrsten Sinema!
NEXT MONDAY, FEBRUARY 22 @ 11:30 AM in the LGBT Center (02 West Union)
Lunch is generously being sponsored by the Center for LGBT Life and Blue Devil’s United (please RSVP to Risa Isard at rfi@duke.edu)

Raised in a conservative Mormon home, Kyrsten Sinema is openly bisexual and serves as a member of the Arizona Legislature. In her third term as a member of the House of Representatives she has declared her intent to run for the state Senate in the forthcoming election.

One of her most notable accomplishments was chairing the 2006 campaign called Arizona Together—the first and only successful effort in the country to defeat an anti-same-sex marriage ballot initiative. Currently, she serves on Obama’s national healthcare reform group. Kyrsten is the Board President of Community Outreach and Advocacy for Refugees and also serves on the board for the YWCA of Maricopa County. She is the recipient of awards for her political leadership, including the NAACP Civil Rights Award, AZ Hispanic Community Forum Friend of the Year, Planned Parenthood Legislative CHOICE Award, Sierra Club’s Most Valuable Player, and the AZ Public Health Association Legislator of the Year

Kyrsten holds both a law degree and a Master’s degree in Social Work from Arizona State University, and is currently pursuing her Ph.D. in the School of Justice and Social Inquiry at ASU. She is an adjunct professor in the School of Social Work at ASU and practices law when not in session. Kyrsten also serves as faculty for the Center for Progressive Leadership, teaching tomorrow’s community leaders about the political process.

Kyrsten’s first book, Unite and Conquer: How to Build Coalitions that Win and Last, was released in July 2009 by Berrett-Koehler Publishers.

Lunch is generously being provided by the LGBT Center and Blue Devils United.

Her visit is made possible by Blue Devils United, Duke Democrats and Duke NOW.

Anonymous Posts(11.16.09–11.22.09)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

#1:

Hello everyone! It's Class ACES Registration time again, I'm looking for a sexuality course that is fun and deals with LGBT issues. I'm thinking of signing up for SXL 135, with Janie Long, called "Clinical Issues in LGBTQ". Has anyone here taken this class? Is it worth taking, or fairly interesting? Is it hard or straightfoward?

Thanks! Looking forward to taking my first gay-themed class, if it's good!

-Undergrad lesbian

#2:

Gay marriage in New York! How awesome would this be? Go Gov. Patterson!!!!!

#3

The Colbert video reminded me of a speech Keith Olbermann made last November, speaking out against Prop 8. This video is incredibly meaningful and is just as relevant today as it was a year ago. Forgetting politics and putting religion in perspective, he stresses the importance of love and happiness and the significance of spreading that love and happiness in a world that is so filled with hate. This is a video that everyone should see: both people in support of the LGBT community and non-supporters alike. It can definitely spark discussions on religion, love, and the symbolic nature of marriage and what it truly stands for. I urge you to take a 7 minute break from whatever you are working on and listen to this speech.

Enjoy!

Every Duke Gay Should Know #2: The Gothic Queers

For this week's post, I decided to post a Chronicle article from 1997. The undergraduate LGBTQA organization at the time was called the Gothic Queers...and they too had a little bridge incident. It is important to know where we have been...to know where we are going!

Gothic Queers charge censorship
By Devin Gordon
October 10, 1997

Blotted out by intermittent scads of white paint, colorful slogans on the East Campus bridge celebrating homosexuality and National Coming Out Week have been systematically removed from the view of passersby during the past two days. An unnamed official at the University's Department of Facilities Management, which ordered the whitewashing, considered the messages offensive. The gay community-outraged and upset-has called it censorship.

"We were all shocked to discover that there's a speech code at Duke," said John Howard, director of the Center for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Life. "We were appalled to learn that it's administered by Facilities Management." As part of the National Coming Out Week festivities, dozens of members of the University's homosexual community gathered earlier this week to paint the East Campus Bridge pink and decorate it with slogans of queer pride.

But during a scheduled street-cleaning project Wednesday afternoon, a crew of facilities management workers obscured a considerable number of the messages with white paint.

In a statement to The Chronicle Thursday evening on behalf of the senior administration, Executive Vice President Tallman Trask said the whitewashing was performed, in part, to delete offensive words and phrases that had been painted on or near the work by the gay community. Facilities management officials, he explained, ordered the deletions in accordance with its long-standing policy against "vulgar or obscene graffiti... placed on Duke campus."

"Some of these [deletions] were obscene and, consistent with the past policy, should have been painted over by facilities staff," Trask said in the statement. "Most, however, were statements which reflected the world view of gays and lesbians and were consistent with their right to free expression. The removal of these statements was an error in judgment that cannot be condoned. The facilities department has been instructed to be more circumspect in future decisions to paint over language at the underpass."

Sgt. Sara-Jane Raines, the Duke University Police Department's minority liaison, said she investigated a complaint that LGBT Center officials filed about the repainting. Prior to the actions of facilities management, she asserted, the bridge contained little or no anti-gay graffiti and no patently offensive language that would have justified the whitewashing.

PDgAy? Fine with Me

Oh look! They're holding hands; let's stare at them.

A typical high school hallway of giddy, giggling girls? Not quite. This is what many couples face every day of their lives, long after they've emptied their lockers. And before this semester, a level of conspicuousness to which I had yet been exposed…

“Do you wanna dance?”

A simple enough question, but for one of few out students on campus, one packed with consequences. It was nine o’clock on a Friday night in early September, and a large crowd had gathered outside the Chapel for Salsa on the Steps. Gorged with dinner from Bali Hai, I was ready to dance my butt off. Or so I thought. But to be perfectly honest, I was quite terrified. Outside the safety of Vespa or Thrive (if you keep an eye on your drink), I wasn’t sure how ready I was display my sexuality for everyone to see, both friend and stranger alike.

But I took his hand. And we started dancing. And… nothing happened. No thunder from the sky, no gasps of abhorred shock. Someone from the event started taking pictures, but despite the initial racing of my heart, I didn’t mind it that much. As I left the event my mind kept drifting back to that moment, a moment that I recognized as a step forward in my coming out process. And as the week wore on, I grew more and more daring in expressing and affirming myself: holding hands, cuddling on the quad, kissing. Yes, kissing.

This is the part where I could either write a gumdrop fairy tale of how surprisingly accepting the campus can be of LGBT couples, or tear down an uplifting story with harsh realities of glares, scoffs, and feelings of scrutiny under a microscope that is Duke social life. The truth is, both scenarios exist. We’re only as open as we show ourselves to be, and we all come from different walks of life (ulgh, literary clichés). For some, that means finding a welcoming environment; for others, a bitter de-masking of false pretenses. As far as I’m concerned, the responsibility lies in the individual. You ultimately decide what world you want to live in, and your inaction can speak just as loudly as what you do decide to instigate. For me, that meant taking a risk, hoping I wouldn’t become a pariah by shoving my “homo agenda” in everyone’s face. And don’t I have that right? Don’t we all reserve the right to express our love freely without judgment from others—or, in a more practical state of mind, without too much vocal judgment from others? I believe so, and I hope you do to.

So don’t be afraid. Take the next step. Then another. And another. Soon, you’ll find we’re all marching in support with you.

Every Duke Gay Should Know #1: 2007 Addition of "Gender Identity" to Duke's Non-Discrimination Policy

In 2005, Duke University's LGBT Task Force formed a committee to research and advocate for the extension of the university's nondiscrimination policy to transgender individuals. The committee examined policies favored by other states, corporation, and peer institutions, such as Yale, Harvard, Stanford, and Princeton. After ten months of research, it issued a report, recommending that the university protect transgender members of the university community from discrimination based on "gender identity or expression." In February 2007, the board of trustees approved an update to Duke's statement of equal opportunity that included the words "gender identity." It also voted to change the wording of the section covering LGBT individuals to refer to "sexual orientation" rather than "sexual orientation or preference," to reflect the evolution in the ways that sexual orientation is understood.

Sounds great on paper, right? Fast forward to August 30, 2007, when a parent's complaints resulted in the eventual relocation of a transgender student from a West Campus dorm to an off campus apartment.

So I ask myself, how far is our university willing to go to protect a transgender student? Is it really just an advocate until the threat of a lawsuit arises? What does the fact that it took three years for the inclusion of "gender identity" to be voted on by trustees say about our university's willingness to pioneer the way for LGBT student rights? What does our administation's response to the transgender student's housing situation only months after the nondiscrimination policy was officially changed say about the weight of this commitment to equal rights?

Two years later, as we look ahead to the construction of a new dorm wing on West Campus, with no administrative mention of active measures being taken to ensure that the new housing options will accomodate transgender students...how much has really changed?