January 16, 2011

As I Sit Here and Freeze...

It's midnight, I'm alone in my tent, and I'm a Floridian. Aside from what I will discuss, can someone explain to me the logic of living in K-Ville? Just saying...

As I sit here and freeze, I have had the chance to reflect on how my life has changed over the past year. Until this past year, I had always pushed my sexuality aside from my life, or as I called it, "focused on my studies." I've known for a long time that I am gay, but I didn't know what to do. I knew the stigma, and especially in high school, my objective was to avoid all antagonizing remarks. I was already a math-and-science loving nerd, so I just wanted to try and remain as normal as normal could be for me.

At the beginning of my senior year in high school, I knew that I had to come to terms with who I was, especially before college. It was already October and I was already feeling sort of lost, I had very little guidance, and I really didn't have anybody to ask for advice, and then I met my best friend. Without Raymond, my life would not be the same.

Now to be honest, if I didn't have a crush on Raymond, I don't know if I would've even approached him, given the randomness of such a conversation and my awkwardness. However, if I never summoned the courage to just say hi and get to know him better, we would not be as close as we are today. But he was able to be the guidance and support that I desired. Raymond knew my concerns; he had already been through the process of coming out, even though he is two years younger than me. He has such strength and courage that he was able to pass on and reveal in me as I began my coming out process. My new year's resolution in 2010 was to be comfortable with myself, and not lie about who I am. I can say that is the only resolution I have ever completed in my eighteen years of living.

As I sit here and freeze, I think about what resolutions I could potentially make that I would be able to fulfill (yes, it's the 16th of January, I can still make resolutions). Actually, this resolution didn't dawn on me until I started writing this post, but I think it's a good one: I want to be somebody's Raymond. I want to be helpful to anyone who needs help. Raymond has been there for me from the beginning, and I can't thank him enough.

Now I want to return the favor.

I have spoken with some of you, the readers, about your concerns with coming out to friends and family. I am more than honored, and there are many wonderful contributors to this fabulous blog who would love to help you out. Please, if I can stress anything about this post, and you ignore the details above, please know this:

You are not alone. You should not come out alone. There is a group of people, not just me, but your friends who want to help.

Just like Raymond is there to help me, we are here to help you.

1 comment:

  1. I love this so much, and I think that it's absolutely wonderful that you want to be there for someone and are offering yourself up as well as planning to live up to that commitment!

    It's things like this ^^ that make me love the community so much =)