WOMYN Wednesday!

Hello, all you marvelous readers!

I do not have a poll for you today. Instead, I wish to remind you of something much more exciting and momentous:

WOMYN is hosting a submission-writing party TOMORROW from 8-10PM in the Center. The deadline for submitting your ever-fabulous perspectives on being a queer woman at Duke is this Friday, September 16. But, writing those submissions can be very difficult, which is why WOMYN has decided to help create an atmosphere that makes writing fun and communal. Because, really, we are all part of such as strong and dynamic community, and WOMYN is a tangible symbol of that community. Therefore, it makes sense that we all share in the writing process - to cheer each other on, make suggestions, and otherwise provide a supportive environment. But wait! There's more! If you come to the party, you will also receive food, FREE with your attendance!

In the meantime, I urge you to keep spreading the word about WOMYN. When it comes down to it, WOMYN is both a record of our community and a conversation among community members. We need as many voices as possible to be included in that conversation. So, please take a WOMYN bookmark to give to a friend, send an email, share a copy of the first issue - we will all benefit by encouraging others to submit. Additionally, for the artistically-inclined, WOMYN is looking for an awesome new cover design. We want this issue to be as slick as the first! You can send your submissions (art and otherwise) to womynatduke@gmail.com. We look forward to seeing the wonderful things you have to offer!

WOMYN Wednesday - Sort of

Hello, everyone. So, it’s WOMYN Wednesday, but things have been totally crazy this week, so I don’t have a super-awesome new poll for you. Next week, though, I promise! In the meantime, I hope you’re writing your fantabulous submissions for WOMYN! Your voices are crucial to the success of this magazine, and we really want to help you spread the word about your ideas and experiences. Please send your amazing work to womynatduke@gmail.com!

In lieu of a poll, perhaps you would be interested in some pictures of some absolutely fabulous queer women, courtesy of autostraddle.com? If you’ve already seen them, well, it can’t hurt to look again, right?

When You Give Your Gal Some Advil

I have a new gal in my life. Fun facts: She’s a senior Exercise Science major at UNC and plays on the club lacrosse team. She lives with a couple roommates in a Carrboro house and has her own car. We have the same taste in music. (If you're a romantic playlist voyeur, check out my Project Playlist profile.) We talk about anything and everything, especially our shared interest in food politics. Our distance is bridged by exciting text messages during Global Health class and Friday afternoon dinners at Chapel Hill Mexican restaurants. I have a willing companion if Childish Gambino ever decides to come to North Carolina and a dance partner when "My Chick Bad" comes on at Vespa. (As much as I like Lady Gaga and Katy Perry, I can’t give anyone a proper lap dance to their music.) Each Monday when I swipe dental damns from the Know Your Status table; I know they aren’t going to be used as bookmarks.

Unfortunately, this unfurling relationship is marred by one thing: a terrible toothache. (White girl problems? I think not.) Pain radiates through the left side of my mouth at all times. I wince when I smile at cute children. My painkiller of choice, chocolate, is double-edged. I must use real drugs, like Ibuprofen (eeek!) and Advil (yikes!) Eating regular meals is also difficult. I’ve been feeling lightheaded and weak, which is derailing my exercise routine. I just completed two hell weeks, and am gearing up for a possible third. The gulf between what I need to do to get A’s and what I can do is growing wider each day.

A Facebook status about bringing soup and meds to your baby seems like the perfect way to herald the "In a Relationship" life. (This new life requires a revamped Facebook strategy, starting with a new profile picture.) Cuteness is totally Facebook worthy. It is sure to generate a torrent of comments and likes, almost as much as the status about your awesome summer internship or DukeEngage acceptance. But posting cute statuses just isn't my style. I want my Facebook output to inform, educate and entertain, not make people gag. The 43 word synopsis: After scoping out my mouth (my student health appointment isn’t until next Friday) my gal decided Orajel was not a good idea. She hooked me up with Ibuprofen and fast-acting Advil Liqui-Gels. Both of us avoid painkillers, but this is an exception.

Caring for short term, minor health issues is like riding a bicycle with training wheels. When the training wheels come off my new gal could be an incompetent asshole. But all I can expect right now, in this amorphous situation-cum-proto-relationship is what I have received. Namely, an inspection and some pills. And as much as I think I can easily take care of myself, the times in high school when when I screamed and writhed on the carpet from cramps until my mom came home indicate otherwise. Now is the time to delegate, to say no, to give myself some time for mental rehabilitation so I can finish the semester strong. That my new gal supports me in this endeavor bodes well for the future of our relationship. The first hurdle has been cleared. On to the next one.

Let's Talk About Sex...Lesbian Sex

I’ve had this idea for awhile now. I’m currently trying to formulate it in the best way and see what other people think.

Almost everyone who has been through some form of sex education knows how to put a condom on a dildo. Hardly anyone knows how to use a dental dam. I can understand why dental dam demonstrations might not happen in sex education. Putting a condom on a dildo can be fun. Putting a dental dam on a plastic vagina seems much more intimate. And weird. Here’s the deal: for men who have sex with men, they’ve been taught (albeit in a heteronormative way) how to protect themselves. For women who have sex with women, the waters are murkier.

LGBT students often don’t get inclusive sexual health education in highs school or from parents. In college you’re on your own. Fortunately, people of our generation can use the internet to find sexual health information. I use the internet to find the information I need- whether it’s a Youtube video demonstrating how to use a dental dam or charts that show the risk levels of various sexual activities. I expose myself to a menagerie of information partly out of curiosity and partly because I need to answer questions when I’m counseling. I don’t see the problem as lack of access to information.

I know what it’s like to be a queer women struggling with if and how to have safe sex. I know what it’s like to feel nervous asking a partner to use protection with me, and the frustration felt when a partner wasn’t as enthusiastic as I was. Dental dams aren’t weird and awkward, and haven’t impeded my ability to get someone off. (Maybe I’m just that good.) While LGBT women and men have many reasons to collaborate, we might be more different than similar when it comes to sexual health. I’m not qualified to tackle sexual health from an LGBT men’s perspective. I know which acts or more high risk than others, but people are already aware of that. I’ve yet to encounter an LGBT man at Duke who didn’t find safe sex perfectly obvious (in theory at least.)

How do women have safe sex with other women? By using a dental dam during oral sex or rimming. You could also use finger condoms or latex gloves. Valencia by Michelle Tea, a novel I read in high school, described women wearing latex gloves when they had sex, so it’s on my radar. Barring specific medical conditions, I don’t see any need for finger condoms or latex gloves. To be honest, the idea of having unsafe sex freaks me out, especially when I have my public health nerd glasses on. (Those glasses do sometimes come off in the heat of the moment. But yall already know I’m not a sexual health saint.) I have never talked to a queer woman who knew about dental dams or wanted to use them. I have never shared sex toys with a woman. If I did, I would at least know to clean them. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but women can transmit STDs to each other. Otherwise this discussion would be moot.

I want to hear from yall. What (if anything) do you use for protection? What are your reasons for using or not using protection? Do you feel uninformed or inexperienced? Do you consider lesbian sex safe, or safe enough? Do you find dental dams awkward/gross/pointless/potentially lethal?

WOMYN Magazine Release!

Hello WOMYN! This is an exciting time!

We are very happy to announce that WOMYN magazine will be arriving to campus Undergraduate Publication Board (UPB) newsstands next Tuesday morning, November 9th! Be sure to grab your copy early that morning!

Secondly, we are having a celebratory WOMYN Release Party the night before the magazine hits campus, on Monday, November 8th, from 5:30-7pm in the LGBT Center. All LGBTQ women, members of the WOMYN review board, and those who submitted pieces to WOMYN magazine are welcome to attend.

Lastly, if for some reason you are unable to pick up your own physical copy of WOMYN before they run out, we will reserve permanant copies of the magazine in the Center for LGBT Life so that you can see it anytime you are on campus.

Thank you to everyone-get excited!!!!!
- Megan, Jack and Summer

A Rarity in Women's Basketball; Duke Leads the Way

I have a serious academic interest in sport and in this column I’ll be highlighting current events, sharing resources, reflecting on complex issues and sharing athlete’s stories among other things. For more about me, you can read my first post, here. Please feel free to email me with thoughts or if you come across something you’d like me to include on the blog.

Basketball season starts this week. Friday, to be exact. That's tomorrow, for those of you thrown off by fall break starting our week on a Wednesday. For most Duke students, that probably means attending Countdown to Craziness, painting our faces in blue and white, losing our voices and engaging in traditional cheers all for the first time this year (or if you’re a first year, your first time ever). If you’re a manager for one of the basketball teams, it means working a three hour practice (which means working for at least four hours, mind you), filling up more water cups, chasing down and rebounding more balls, wiping up more sweat, and resetting the shot clock more times than you have during the previous four weeks of preseason work outs. And if you happen to play basketball for Duke, it means surrenduring your soul social life for the remainder of the school year (and you thought the school year just started!).

So, what’s that have to do with anything? Well, every so often Duke Women’s Basketball releases a question and answer style update on the life of a former player. Most (though not all) of these “Catching Up” pieces ask a question about the alumna’s spouse and kids. It’s a pretty heteronormative question and I always wondered if they only asked it of straight athletes (I sort of figured that they only asked it if they knew that person was in fact married, though I don’t know this for a fact). But what about a player who was in a committed same-sex partnership? Would Duke Women’s Basketball ask former players they knew to have a partner about this aspect of their lives, the same as they ask their straight counterparts? Or would it be a matter of reporting on the relationships of the straight athletes while simply not reporting on the “love lives” of any LGB-identified former players, thereby ignoring any same-sex relationships?

My skepticism isn’t unfounded. Women’s basketball—both the professional and collegiate ranks—along with other women’s sports—has a sort of complicated relationship with the LGBTQ community. The WNBA, for instance, is notorious for highlighting on their website and during telecasts the weddings, kids and spouses of straight players while never mentioning the commitment ceremonies and partners of LGB-identified players. This is a different issue than the internal culture of teams—though they’re not necessarily totally unrelated to one another. But as advertising/fan outreach goes—it’s rare to see coverage of an LGB-identified athlete which acknowledges their sexuality. I want to recognize that it’s possible that this lack of coverage is at the request of the athlete, but I have a hard time believing that every athlete falls into this category [especially considering that it occasionally comes up in other, non league/team related publications, but then is never highlighted on that league’s/team’s website, the way that other news releases and articles are indexed]. This isn't unique unto the WNBA. It's the story across the board.

Well, I’m here to applaud Duke Women’s Basketball, GoDuke.com and Nicole Erickson! This June, Duke Sports Information posted a question and answer feature called “Catching up with Former Hoops Player Nicole Erickson.” In her interview, Erickson mentions her partner of nine years multiple times!

When GoDuke asked her “Do you have a spouse and children?” She answered that “I have been in a nine-year relationship and we have two weimeraner dog kids :) Gracie and Guinness…” Earlier in the interview she mentioned that she and her partner are partial owners of two restaurants. Check out the full interview here.

Erickson played for Duke during the 1997-1998 and 1998-1999 seasons after transferring from Purdue (along with fellow former Boilermaker Michele VanGorp [also openly gay]) following the 1995-1996 season (she sat out during the 1996-1997 season per NCAA rules). She helped lead the team to its first Final Four and championship game appearances in 1999 (to get there, Duke defeated three-time-defending Champion Tennessee) and was named to the Final Four All-Tournament Team. [Side note: Duke played Purdue, Erickson and VanGorp's former school, in the championship game.] She was also named to the all-regional (NCAA tournament) teams during 1998 and 1999. During the 1998-1999 season, Erickson was tabbed ACC player of the week on at least two occasions and was an All-ACC selection each of the two years that she played in a Duke jersey. At the time she graduated, she held the school record for number of three pointers in one game (7) and the number of three pointers in a season (62) [ten years later, she is tied for record for number of three point field goals in one game and is fourth in number of three point field goals made in a season]. During her Duke career she shot 88.0% from the free throw line, which is still the best in ACC history and her 32 consecutive FTs (in 1999) is still the longest FT streak in Duke history.

I've detailed some of the complexities between women's sports and the LGBTQ community in other posts (Elena Kagan comes to mind) and could probably write a lot more about it than what I'll say here. Despite all of the complexities between women's sports and the LGBTQ community, though, there are promising signs of a time when women's sports won't feel like it can't talk about LGBTQ individuals in sport. I'm proud that Duke is already moving in that direction.

The season starts Friday and Duke Women's Basketball has more to be proud of than the fact that the team's five first years make up the top-ranked freshman class in the country, Jasmine Thomas continues to rack up the honors (named a preseason first team All-American and to the watch lists for the Wade Trophy and Wooden Award) and national publications rank the Blue Devils as high as sixth (and as low as eighth) in the country (though, those are pretty awesome accomplishments, too).

[Author's note: In the interest of transparency, I spent my freshman year as a manager for the women’s basketball team and have since resumed my responsibilities after not holding the job last year. Also, thank you to Duke Sports Information for providing me with accurate up-to-date statistics on Erickson's career.]

WOMYN Wednesday!

[WOMYN magazine is excited to announce that we are featuring polls from our community in the magazine! We want to hear what you have to say about LGBTQ issues, queer women and Duke. The general goal of WOMYN magazine is to increase the visibility of queer women on this campus.]

This week we would like to annouce that we have WOMYN bookmarks! Let's make WOMYN one of the first things the incoming students see! Click here to download them directly, (or click here to access them on the WOMYN website). If you're a RA, work at a location on campus, or you're just plan awesome, print out some WOMYN bookmarks (be sure to print them double sided with SHORT edge binding in Microsoft Word), and leave them in locations around campus or hand them out to help let others know that LGBTQ individuals are welcome here.

(Need a little motivation? Do it for the Class of 2014! Think about how different your first year would have been if one of the first things you saw during orientation was a bookmark for a LGBTQ women's magazine. It would have been amazing.)

This week's WOMYN poll is:

"Who is your favorite character on the L-Word?"

Click here to vote!

(You can view the results of the poll in WOMYN magazine when it hits campus late fall semester!)

(Note: This piece contains a small *spoiler* of the 6th season of the show.)

"Everybody's straight until they're not." - The L-Word

The L-Word was originally produced by Ilene Chaiken, an openly lesbian screenwriter, and the show ran on Showtime for 6 seasons from 2004-2009. (Fun fact: Ilene Chaiken also coordinated The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air before her work with the L-Word.) The television series takes place in Los Angeles (although it was filmed in Vancouver, Canada) and focuses on the lives of a rotating group of lesbian, bisexual and transgender characters who live in West Hollywood.

Whether you love it or you hate it, the L-word was one of the first primetime television shows that focused almost solely on queer women. In this way, the L-word was a major success, but in many other aspects it failed to live up to some of the expectations viewers had about the program. The show lacked an accurate portrayal of diversity in almost every way possible. Ethnic/racial diversity, socioeconomic status (they live in West Hollywood), gender expression and bisexual and transgender characters all seemed to be missing in the primarily white, lesbian and affluent cast of the show. In addition, some viewers thought that the show's final season, which ends with the murder of one of the main characters, fufills the stereotypical older LGBT literature plotline of the tragic lesbian ending.

But despite its flaws, it was arguably one of the most successful and popular LGBTQ-women's series to date. Due to its wide popularity, this week we wanted to focus on the show that placed queer women in a much more visible section of the media. Who's your favorite character? And what did you love/hate about the show? Let us know in the comments field your opinions and ideas about the L-Word. (If you're comfortable with your quote appearing in the magazine, feel free to add your name and your Duke affiliation.)

* * * *

Want to submit to WOMYN magazine? Don't wait until all of the schoolwork hits this semester-get your submission in now! (Remember how difficult Physics 53 and History 190C were during the school year?) The submission deadline is September 15th.

Check out our website for more information, and feel free to email us with any questions you might have: womynatduke@gmail.com. All are highly encouraged to submit - LGBTQ and straight-allied. Anyone with a Duke affiliation is eligible to write for WOMYN, including alumni, staff, faculty, undergraduate and graduate students alike.

Womyn Wednesday!

[WOMYN magazine is excited to announce that we will be featuring polls from our community in the magazine! We want to hear what you have to say about LGBTQ issues, queer women and Duke! The general goal of WOMYN magazine is to increase the visibility of queer women on this campus.]

Thank you to everyone who participated in last week's poll. The responses were great, and if you haven't voted yet you still can.

We would also like to announce that we are now accepting submissions from alumni in the magazine! After talking with some past queer female alumni from Duke, we think that including alumni voices would bring a really great perspective to the magazine, and it would also serve as a great resource for current Duke students. We're really excited about connecting with our greater LGBTQ Duke community, so be sure to let your graduated friends know they can submit!

(Thanks to Tina Siadak, Summer Puente and Chantel Liggett for collectively coming up with the ideas in this poll. Go team!)

This week's WOMYN poll is:

"Which of these images comes to mind when you hear the term 'queer woman'?"

Click here to vote in this week's WOMYN poll.

Note: the responses are images for this week-you may select more than one option. Also, please note that by including a photo here, we are in no way making a statement about the photographed individual's sexuality.

Image 1, 2 (right) and 3 (bottom)

This week we want to hear your ideas on the stereotypes of queer women and how LGBTQ-identified women are perceived. This poll is meant to spark discussion. Can anybody ever "look queer"? Can the girl making out with a boy identify as queer? Could a softball player be queer? Is the woman with short hair wearing the sweater vest queer? Maybe the woman wearing a sari is queer? Or could it be the girl in the Hollister ad with a man? What does being queer mean?

Image 4, 5 (right) and 6 (bottom)

Why is it that we might associate one image with queer, but not another? Is this a misunderstanding of what it means to be LGBTQ? Let us know what you think by voting, and feel free to respond in the comments section as well if you are comfortable being quoted in the magazine. (Please provide your name and Duke affiliation as well, ex. "Jane Doe, Trinity '11).

Image 7, 8 (right) and 9 (bottom)

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Want to see the results of this week's poll? Pick up a copy of the WOMYN magazine in late Fall when it hits the newsstands!

Have an idea for next week's poll? Let us know, or email us to guest write it!

Want to submit to WOMYN magazine? Click here to look at some ideas of what to submit. (The submission deadline is September 15th.) Check out our website for more information on how to submit, and feel free to email us with any questions you might have: womynatduke@gmail.com.

Anonymous Posts (7.19.10-7.25.10)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

So one of the coolest things that we did last year was the rainbow flag campaign. Especially for visiting high school students, this conveys that there is a community on campus. Alumni commented to Janie how warming it was to see the progress we've made.

And nothing's more testament to that than this old Chronicle article from September 2005 I found. Some snippets:

A flag hanging outside a window on Duke's East Campus prompted heated discussion Monday night after some students in Giles Dormitory expressed concern over the banner and requested its removal.
...

"I recognize the room is kind of central [over the Giles entrance], so what goes on... outside the window might be construed as representing the dorm," Thian said. "I am against homosexuality, however this is a free country and they have the right to say what they want to say."

For the record, the flag stayed. But anyhow. Worth a read (as are these old op-eds: My right to not support gay and lesbian groups (2002), Gay? Not fine by me (2003)).

We've actually got a handful of anonymous posts today, which is freaking awesome. The summer! This is over the summer. That we are getting so many posts. So cool.

P.S. Regarding #4 this week... I wasn't expecting this haha. Public compliments make me uncomfortable and this is super embarrassing, buuut I guess if it was anybody else (like ALIZA or SUMMER or JUSTIN or OLI or ARI or #4 THEMSELF who are all infinitely more so The Best) I'd put it up.

#1
I don't know if I'm a lesbian. I'm just so confused. And I don't want to go to hell.

#2
I'm a UNC student who would love to meet more of the LGBT community at Duke. Is "Fab Friday" the best way to go about this or is there a better way?

#3
I couldn't think of a better way to communicate with ya'all, so this is a rather silly use of an anonymous post, but I think that this is amazing (link).

#4

I've known Chris Perry since he moved to Patchogue. We lost contact...had the same classes in HS (of course speaking AP courses). It does not surprise me that he would be living in Washington D.C. (assuming so?) and raising such awareness and stories for an amazing cause. It's inspiring to see his intelligence used as a...power...or yet a force. Highschool I went down the road of immaturity and made choices that could've put me in jail (while still keeping straight A's). But in the seat next to me he'd come to AP english and would just focus on knowledge and always trying to participate in whatever he could to make a stamp in something. Not even for himself....but to form something to create a greater good. I always craved to learn but wish I would've followed his example as many of his colleagues did during that time. To see him and this blog makes me know that these are the roads that must be focused on. Always collecting knowledge and using it for a greater good. I hope you are happy Chris. Best of wishes.

#5
Why me? Why am I subjugated to this life? More importantly, why am I forced to feel this way? I just want to be straight. To be able to have a girlfriend, with whom I hold hands and kiss in public without glaring eyes. I want to bring a girl to meet my parents. I don't want to have my father who looks upon homosexuality with repugnance. I can't stand lying to myself any longer. But I do not see how I will be able to stand my parents, knowing they will never look at me the same. Who knows if they would even fund my education. I just want a normal life. Get married and have children. While these possibilities are now beginning to become open to gays, it is still not the same. I am frightened by how the human brain can be formed to think such disdain toward homosexuality. How can an idea be so powerful? I seem to have everything going for me: I'm young and healthy, about to begin studying at one of the world's most prestigious universities, I'm attractive and likable. But to me, it is nothing more than façade. The thing I hate is also the thing I identify most to. My homosexuality has shaped who I am. I can't stand to hide from it any longer. Only three other people know, two of whom I hooked up with. I want to be open about who I am, I don't want to only hoop up with guys in clandestine locations hidden from society by the darkness of night. But in the end, I just want to be straight, and then I can live my happy life. Fuck you society. I'm sorry, I just have no other way to say it. Why must I live like this, why must I think like this? Realistically, I just want to be happy at Duke. I want to be who I am. But I will not succumb to the flawed beliefs of this society. I will be happy...but why must I fight for it. I'm not so naive to think that being straight would automatically yield happiness, but it seems it is so much more feasible. I want to get with guys; which, sure its superficial, but what 19 year old doesn't want sex? And then I ask, why do I feel that I am the only one who understands and accepts my sexual orientation?. Sure I loath it at times, but I know who I am. The last guy I hooked up with, for example, says he is actually straight and doesn't want to do this any more, which I'm fine with, but I feel it is bullshit. If you hook up with a guy, enjoy it and get an erection from it, how can you say you're not attracted to men? I was the first guy he hooked up with, so maybe he has been lying to himself for so long? I first hooked up with a guy my summer before 9th grade, so I guess I have had more time to experiment? But even then I understood I like guys. Throughout high school I had this "hook up buddy". However, it was an on and off thing. I understood if he didn't want to hook up with me, but so many times he would say he isn't in to this kind of stuff any more. This is what the last 5ish years have been like. Have I just found "bad" guys? Okay, my post has been kind of all over the place, but the idea I think I have been developing and venting is that this society is so fucked up (sorry for the language again). I know this idea isn't new, and that all of you can understand it, but seriously, why? Why are we, intelligent and supposedly rational beings, able, or perhaps forced, to believe these ideas. I really don't know where I'm going with this, I suppose as means of venting since I have no one to discuss this with when it concerns me personally. Quiero aprovechar el dia, pero ¿como puedo? Estoy ocultando del mundo con un velo de mentiras. Me pregunto, ¿quien eres? Y ya lo sé. Sin embargo, no puedo sentirlo. Ojala que un dia pueda ser contento con mi sexualidad y, sobre todo, mi vida. Sorry, I like to think/write in Spanish sometimes, haha even though I'm not a native speaker. So its near 3 am and I've run out of steam. I understand that I am gay, I just hope I can make the best of it for the next four years at Duke, and for the duration of my life.

#6
I can't stand that by coming out I broke my parents' hearts

Womyn Wednesday!

[WOMYN magazine is excited to announce that we will be featuring polls from our community in the magazine! We want to hear what you have to say about LGBT issues, queer women and Duke! The general goal of WOMYN magazine is to increase the visiblity of queer women on this campus. A special thank-you to Chris Perry, the editor of the BDU blog!]

Thank you to everyone who participated in last week's poll. The responses were really great, and if you haven't voted yet you still can. We would also like to announce that the deadine for submissions to WOMYN magazine is September 15th. Click here to look at some ideas of what to submit. (Remember that submissions are rolling, so the sooner you submit, the better!)

This week's WOMYN poll is: "Does Duke seem like a safe place for someone to come out of the closet? Have you come out of the closet at Duke? Why or why not?"

Click here to take this week's WOMYN poll. Or answer in the comments section below!

The now nationwide slogan, "Gay? Fine by Me." originated at Duke back in 2003. Do we, as Duke students, still feel this way today? The goal of WOMYN is to increase the visibility of queer women on this campus, and it is intrisically linked to this question. The presence of out, visible LGBTQ students on Duke's campus changes everything. This week's question is complex, because even after telling that first friend on the quad or finally outing yourself in the middle of a class, the process is continual and much larger than a single yes or no. Therefore, this week we decided to leave an open blank in the poll so that you can tell us your comments, ideas and personal experiences of coming out at Duke in addition to your vote. Surveymonkey.com is completely anonymous, but if you would like to include your name (and a brief note of your affiliation to Duke) in your response to have your quote appear in the magazine, we would definitely love that as well.

Want to view the results? Check out the UPB newstands when WOMYN is realesed on campus in late October!

Upper Image: National Coming Out Day logo created and donated by Keith Haring to the Human Rights Campaign.
Middle: Matt Lyons, Trinity '10 (pimc2cm@gmail.com)
Contact WOMYN by email (womynatduke@gmail.com) or by visiting our website.

Anonymous Posts (7.12.10-7.18.10)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

FDOC (appropriately a four-letter word that begins with F) is around the corner, y'all. This is, uh, extremely scary as a rising senior, and I have no idea where the time went. It seems like yesterday that I remember thinking this Aliza girl in Giles with the anti-Bush dry-erase board doodles was The Coolest Person. And to think now we procrastinate for hours on end together, scheming and talking about how big of a mistake our majors are.

#diarytalk

Also! My best bud Aaron sent this to me. This American Life is his favorite because duh, and this episode is all about the APA and the DSM description of homosexuality. Summer is all about having the time to listen to things like this!

#1

I wish I could tell her.

#2

I am a closeted lesbian woman at Duke. Now that wasn’t so hard, was it? It’s taken me months, years even, to be able to say that to myself. Coming out to myself was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do—well, until recently. Now that I’ve begun to accept myself for who I am, I’ve realized how much further I still have to go. Being in the closet is so much harder than I thought (‘duh’ right?). I should start by saying that I don’t “look” gay—see Risa’s recent post for an excellent explanation as to why that is an absurd idea :). But my point is that no one would meet me and have any reason to think I was anything but straight. That sucks. After working so hard to accept myself, it hurts so much to have to endure the comments people make unwittingly. Of course hateful words and derogatory remarks towards lesbians hurt, but worse, occasionally, is the assumption of heterosexuality. No, I do not want to talk about my dream wedding to my dream man (playing along with that game is especially difficult). No, I do not care to comment on whether I want a summer wedding or a winter wedding—I don’t have the same rights that you do. Of course Leonardo DiCaprio is a fox in Inception, but did you see Ellen Page?? Beautiful. I feel like every conversation I have, I have twice. Once out-loud, playing along with the hetero-assumptions my oblivious companion is making. And a second time in my head, where I get to come up with all kinds of witty retorts to assert my identity. Unfortunately, I’ve faced this particular challenge many times at my workplace this summer. Once, my [female] manager made an off-hand remark that, taken out of context, sounded like she was hitting on me. She immediately started laughing and falling all over herself explaining that she wasn’t hitting on me, and that she in fact ‘liked boys.’ I just wish I had the balls to say what I was thinking in my head, “don’t worry, you’re not my type anyways.” Another time, several of my coworkers were discussing previous bosses that they had who had a tendency to over share personal information. One of them, another one of my managers, brought up a lesbian couple who ran the restaurant she was working at. They had apparently offered to explain how two women were intimate with each other (no doubt a conversation that was brought up by inquiring minds). My manager told us the story with a disgusted tone of voice and a horrified look on her face—clearly expressing her discomfort with lesbian sexuality. I just sat there in silence, feeling my face getting hotter by the minute and probably turning bright red. I hate that I have to sit in silence when I am feeling so deeply offended. I hate that people don’t and can’t understand how hard I’ve worked to accept myself. Living in the closet has laid this almost unbearable weight on my shoulders that I worry will never go away. The prospect of coming out to my friends or family is just as terrifying. The scariest part is not that I think they won’t accept my homosexuality, but rather that they’ll feel like I’ve been lying to them. Which, I guess I have been.

Womyn Wednesday!

WOMYN magazine is excited to announce that we will be featuring polls from our community in the magazine! We want to hear what you have to say about LGBT issues, queer women, Duke, and a combination of the three! To this end, we're going to post a weekly poll here on the blog so that we hear everyone's voice in the magazine. The general goal of WOMYN magazine is to increase the visiblity of queer women on this campus, and we can't think of a better way to reach our community and beyond than the BDU blog. A special thank-you to Chris Perry, the editor of the BDU blog, who is letting us post a weekly poll!

Our first WOMYN poll is:

Who is your favorite out, queer, woman-identified celebrity role-model?

Click here to take the first WOMYN poll.

Want to view the results? Check out the UPB newstands when WOMYN is realesed on campus in late October!

Why are there so many options to choose from? The honest truth is that, we (Jack, Jess McD., Summer, Brandy, and Michelle) had difficulty providing just the 11 names (well, its technically 12, unless you want to count Tegan and Sarah as a unit). At one point we had a list of 15-16 women. It was actually a pretty powerful exercise to work on and realize the countless LGBTQ-identified women who have so profoundly impacted our culture. We picked 11 names but there are so many others that we're missing, so we also added a "submit your own" field if you have a different favorite.

And don't forget - submissions are now being accepted for the magazine! Click here to look at some ideas of what to submit. (Remember, submissions are rolling, which means that you have a better chance of getting your piece published if you send it in earlier, and it's less work for us!) Contact WOMYN by emailing us (womynatduke@gmail.com) or by visiting our website.

Anonymous Posts (6.28.10-7.4.10)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

I am not one for bragging, but this weekend I saw John, Aliza, LC and J-Block while I was briefly home. This was an awesome time, and is the sort of thing that makes me superexcited to get back on campus.

Don't forget Womyn is now taking submissions, y'all.

Also know this. And read this.

And comment on our anonymous post! (And send one in yourself :) )

#1

I just wish other women on this campus would stay open to the idea of being with another woman.