September 12, 2011

Anonymous Posts (9.6.11-9.11.11)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks, hate speech, or express or insinuate that one is at risk for hurting themselves or someone else. Please read this for an explanation of this policy and seek help if your or a friend find yourself in that position. With those exceptions aside, please feel free to submit your thoughts and questions. :)

Happy Happy Monday Monday Monday!

There will be a candlelight vigil tonight at 9pm on the Chapel steps to protest the proposed amendment to the North Carolina constitution that would ban same-sex marriage (a state statute already does), as well as prohibit civil unions and nullify domestic partnership benefits. Let's gather to make our voices heard!

Also, SUPER EXCITING!! Both Spectrum (open to gender non-conforming, trans, genderqueer and genderquestioning folks...Tuesday, 6-7pm) and the Our Lives (open to EVERYBODY as a way to have face-to-face conversations about topics that appear here on the blog, as well as other things...Thursday, 6:30-7:30) discussion groups will be meeting this week.

Remember, Friday is the last day to submit to WOMYN, Duke's very own publication by and for queer women and their allies! Send in your poems, cartoons, photos, reflections, etc, to!

Andddd...this may be something to consider if you're one of the crazy-high-percent-here students who are pre-med.

I'm a gay-identified Duke alum in the military. My training right now looks a lot like college: I'm in a class of six who will be studying together for more than a year. On the second or third day of class, an Airman (and the only female in our class) says something at the end of a break, "If I didn't know you I'd swear you were gay."

DADT isn't officially gone until September 20th, but that will be far from the end of the struggle for LGB servicemembers (after that date, our struggle will just look a lot more like most LGBT people's struggles). So far, the biggest (and it is far from insignificant) challenge has honestly been the lack of a community or a place where I can just be open about myself.

Twice I've falsely admitted to being "involved" with women--I feel compelled to deliver an answer to the intended question: to guess whether their gendered references are intended as limiters (have you had sex with a woman?) or merely reflect their (usually heterocentrist) views (how many women have you been with?). I mentally change the genders (or not) appropriately and go from there. But those situations have lately been more vague than usual.

A conversation about a particularly flamboyant hallmate (I have several) while returning from chow led me to find that my battle buddies were tolerant, if perhaps not allies (both claimed at least to have no problem with The Gays). After commenting on this, one said, "you're pretty gay too though, #name," and I was surprised to find he wasn't entirely kidding. I tend to let the conversation act as though I weren't present in these situations, but it wasn't running itself dry, and it ended with something to the effect of "I'll have a question for you in a couple weeks" that came off much more open and curious than expected.

Whether naturally or by choice, sexuality has not proven to be a central aspect of my life and I do not imagine very many people here will come to know that side of me (as I said though, I will be here a very long time). All the same, I suppose I must prepare myself for the unexpected (though likely) questions. Speaking of questions, I am happy to answer any or "investigate, then answer" others, though it's hard to imagine there are very many to speak of. But I can provide one Soldier's/Blue Devil's/person's perspective.


/>Please remember that there are a number of resources available on campus and in the local community. These resources are available over breaks and throughout the school year. If you or a friend are experiencing thoughts or urges to harm yourself or somebody else, please reach out to the following resources: In an emergency, please don't hesitate to call CAPS at any time, including "after hours" at (919) 966-3820. Ask to speak to the advice nurse and tell them you are a Duke student. You may also call the Trevor Project, a national hotline specifically for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer and questioning youth (college students included). Their number is 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).


  1. And what a fantastic NC Pride festival it will be on that Saturday after DADT. Thanks for the post Maher, I hope all goes well for you when your struggles fall in line with the community's

    Here if you need me! <3

  2. What a pleasant surprise! I loved your post and found it interesting. I would love to hear a post September 20th update.