September 5, 2011

Anonymous Posts (8.30.11-9.5.11)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks, hate speech, or express or insinuate that one is at risk for hurting themselves or someone else. Please read this for an explanation of this policy and seek help if your or a friend find yourself in that position. With those exceptions aside, please feel free to submit your thoughts and questions. :)

Congratulations on making it all the way through FWOC (first week of classes)! I sincerely hope that everyone is feeling settled and finding your way around campus successfully.

Things are starting to get busy around here, so be sure to stay tuned for announcements and lots of regularly updated content!

The first Blue Devils United (the student group that sponsors this blog!) meeting of the semester is on Wednesday at 5:30 in the LGBT Center (02 West Union/right under the loop).

There will be a BDU BlOG Meeting on Thursday at 9, location TBA. WE'RE LOOKING FOR NEW WRITERS OF ALL YEARS! You need not identify as anything other than a member of the LGBTQ and Ally Community.We'll be brainstorming how to make this blog even better, setting up new accounts for new writers and a posting schedule. So come one, come all--email Risa with questions/concerns/etc.

Women Loving Women and Athletes United also meet for the first time of the year this week.
*WLW: Thursday, 6-8pm, LGBT Center.
*Athletes United (varsity athletes only, please!): Sunday (11th), 6-7pm, LGBT Center.

Be sure to check out the first Fab Friday of the year (on Friday, duh). 4-6pm in the Center.

Now for your anonymous posts!

I saw two guys walking and holding hands on campus today (and not as a joke). Things are looking pretty good this year!

Help out a clueless frosh: where's the LGBT-friendly nightlife on campus? I haven't been able to find anywhere where loud music and irresponsible decisions aren't paired with super-straight hookup culture.

For me, high school was a mess my senior year. Fell in love with my best friend, quasi dated her and as most lesbians can tell ended badly. Freshmen year I stayed closeted and in the summer I decided maybe I'm just not gay. I have an emotional attraction to other girls and my attraction to guys varies from physical to nonexistent. The only things keeping me from pursuing other girls are religion and my parents. Both disapprove of homosexuality. I find myself trying to be straight (and failing a lot) while wanting to be gay.But, at the same time I wonder how I could possibly be gay when I don't really want to have sex with other girls. Whenever I'm really excited/happy about something going great in my life I'm always like "see I don't need to be gay I'm happy right now" but other times I find myself wanting to know why it's not ok for me to live how I want. Hell, I've never had a real girlfriend so I don't even know if I am gay. I guess in a nutshell, I want to try dating other girls because I really think I'm gay, but I don't want the punishment from God or the wrath of my parents that would go along with that. I also don't want to hurt anyone or make them feel like I'm using them just to find out if I'm gay. But really, isn't dating another girl the only way to find out?. Basically, I'm questioning, it sucks, and right now the only people I complain to are complete strangers via a computer screen (no offense :])

/>Please remember that there are a number of resources available on campus and in the local community. These resources are available over breaks and throughout the school year. If you or a friend are experiencing thoughts or urges to harm yourself or somebody else, please reach out to the following resources: In an emergency, please don't hesitate to call CAPS at any time, including "after hours" at (919) 966-3820. Ask to speak to the advice nurse and tell them you are a Duke student. You may also call the Trevor Project, a national hotline specifically for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer and questioning youth (college students included). Their number is 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).


  1. Hey #3,

    It sounds like things are confusing right now. I know when I started to come out on campus, I was certainly confused too-not that that is something you would necessarily even need to do.

    Two things I did-which you might also find helpful, if you are comfortable, is I went to see CAPS (you can make an appointment with the info at the bottom of this Anonymous Posts section) and I met with Janie a few times just to talk.

    Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning women are also welcome to attend "Women Loving Women" Thursday for dinner and discussion, which I found helpful to attend to listen to other women discuss their experiences and attraction to other women.

    I hope this helps! Best of luck!

  2. #2. Parties at Coffeehouse on East Campus. Huge queer contingent, always.

    Otherwise, some super-gregarious/friendly-types create apartment or house-parties that attract lots of queer kids... But these spaces are sort of transient.

    Apart from Coffeehouse, the only other gay-friendly but not-specifically-gay social sphere I can think of that is conducive to partying is Common Ground/Center for Race Relations (CRR).. Probably some of the Selected Living Groups (SLGs) would fit the bill, but I guess that would vary from year to year.

  3. #2- bring your gaydar to shooters
    sadly, there really aren't better options...

  4. #2-- also don't be scared to venture off campus. The Pinhook is super queer--but it varies a lot, some nights happen to have a lot of women, other times men...and sometimes it gets really straight. BUT! I think this is a beautiful thing that it's not only a gay bar. it's also 18+ and has fun dance parties.

    I second the Duke Coffeehouse, that place was my haven.