November 8, 2010

Anonymous Posts (11.1.10-11.7.10)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

Steel continues to plague me as a thing that exists and not merely a character in the longest nightmare ever. I've got a test tomorrow, y'all, and it's kind of a big deal. It's 10:24 PM, which means I should be studying for it instead of thoughttyping like I do every week for the zeros upon zeros of people that actually read these intros. That would be the responsible, 21 year-old thing to do.


So this weekend was the LGBTQ and Ally Retreat with friends from Duke, UNC, State, Elon and Meredith. (Hi, friends from UNC, State, Elon and Meredith if you're reading!) It was The Funnest Thing Ever a little bit? It was The Funnest Thing Ever a little bit. And also productive! There are so many projects in the works right now, Readers. One involves the word "flash" a lot and another calls for making out. If you're not excited about that, then, well.

Also, this was there, which was consistently my favorite part of every workshop (read: moment).

These posts are already hella (bringing that back, FYI) late so I'm just going to superquick hit all of the other necessary things. "WOMYN" (?) is now on stands as of tonight. On Thursday, Eric Alva is coming to speak at Duke and you're going to that because duh, when the first servicemember injured in Iraq is gay and gays are not allowed in the military, you go to hear that person's perspective and the very much so compelling dimension they add to the DADT debate. The Drag Show is later on that night (you knew that). I can confirm that at least Spencer Paez, Jacob Tobia and Oli Wilson will be performing. That is not something one misses. And then on Friday night We're all going to GLBTSA's Fall Ball (lol, ball) because I'm DJing and everyone loves Destiny's Child's entire discography, played track-by-track. One could say that the party is going to be "Jumpin Jumpin" so much that it will difficult to "Survivor" it ("what!"*).

Ok. I think that's it. Anonymous posts, Everyone.

Happy birthday, BDU Blog! I love you.

I went to Women Loving Women last month for the first time. Knowing that the conversation was about sexual fluidity, I went hoping to gain some clarity. Though that didn't happen for me, walking in to a room of 20 others and silently declaring that I was LGBTQ wasn't the end of the world I might have anticipated it to be. This, in itself, was reassuring.

This Makes Me So Happy

On home-game Saturdays during football season, I’m on a mission. My targets are cute little kids, sweet-looking grandparents, and confused-looking visiting fans. My goal? Meet them. Talk to them. Show these people that Duke students care about more than beer and costumes at 10am on Saturday mornings.

My Saturday missions aren’t crusades against drinking or running around campus in tutus and gorilla costumes. Alcohol can be enjoyable, and as for tutus and gorillas—hell, wear whatever you like. I just wish students would consider the people around them when they choose to drink, swear, and be merry in potentially offensive ways.

On this rainy pre-game morning, I headed toward the field feeling discouraged after one student’s “Fuck you, you spilled beer on me!” in front of a toddler outside the Loop seemed like enough to outdo an hour’s worth of mission work.

As I passed through the Clocktower quad, though, I heard a conversation that changed my outlook:

Woman 1: “Hey look, over there!”
Woman 2: “This makes me so happy!”
Woman 1: “Now look over here!”

No birds, plans, or Superheroes were present. (Well, except that half-dressed Batman staggering toward the plaza…) The objects that caught these women’s attention were BDU’s rainbow flags. Cheerfully swaying from dorm windows, the flags are an eye-catching splash of color—particularly on an awfully dreary day like today. More important than their aesthetic quality, the flags radiate acceptance, affirmation, and pride.

When it becomes commonplace to overhear conversations about ‘negative Duke’ (i.e. Karen Owen, fratmail) we risk tuning out ‘positive Duke’. On my Saturday missions, I intentionally target individuals who I am afraid hold a negative view of the campus surrounding them. I forget to consider that some people might see more than the beer-stained costumes--they might love to tell me about

To the women whose discovery of the rainbow flags made them so happy to be on campus, thank you for your enthusiasm. Those flags represent an incredibly strong community—one of the most active and admirable this campus has to offer. I am glad the flags made you happy. They make me happy, too.

Emily McGinty, 2013

I just saw a link on facebook that said that you can only attend the WOMYN release party if 1) you helped with the magazine or 2) you are a LBTIQ woman. Is this fair to male allies?
You can't really do things like that and then complain that queer women at duke are being excluded or overlooked...

"you guys"
Is it really that offensive?
A lot of members of the community think so, but I just don't see it. Wouldn't our time/energy be better spent fighting real injustices like, I don't know, homophobiaintolerancebullyingdiscriminationtransphobiahatespeech?

I feel like trans issues often get left out in discussions of campus culture related to LGBT students. Duke recently addressed this with their gender-neutral housing proposal (whoo, go us!) and this CNN article sheds light on how it's becoming a more prominent focus at universities around the country, specifically same sex institutions. Hooray for messing with the gender binary system! (link)

*I was six years old, but the overall syntax and self-incredulity at the implausibility of my ramblings hasn't really changed much, has it. Also, if anyone can tell me what the first word of the second sentence is, that'd really help.


  1. #4, I didn't know that about the Womyn release party. I went even though I'm neither a contributor nor LGBTIQ. I'm sorry if I crashed the party :( Thanks to everyone who was there for sharing the food and good will with me anyway!

  2. #4: It wasn't just the Facebook even! The posts here on the blog and even the emails sent out to those on the BDU List serve also had the same text. I'm sure it was a copy-paste kind of ordeal for all of the moments of publicity, but I definitely found that weird when I read it and I thought the same thing about the exclusion. But, I'll assume it wasn't meant that way. At least, I hope not.

    #3: That made me smile. It's easy to overlook "good Duke" because of "bad Duke". I'm glad those women didn't though.

  3. I'm assuming that there are more performers at the Drag Show than the three that were mentioned. Were the rest not invited to the clique?

  4. #4 - I think the idea was to create a space for queer women just like at WLW meetings -- it's easy for us to get overlooked/outnumbered (or just intimidated by the feeling that we'll be the only woman there) so the woman-centric nature of the event has to be emphasized in order to actually be inclusive of women.

    It's kind of like how Pride isn't unfair to straight folk, because the Straight Pride Parade is on every other street.

  5. Pride also isn't exclusive. Straight men and women are more than welcome to come. There is a difference between maintaining a target audience and excluding everyone but that target audience. Whether or not womyn wants to admit it, the fact is that the party -was- discriminatory. I'm not saying that's a big deal, nor am I downplaying the need for a space for queer women on campus, but we might as well call a spade a spade. In the future, I think a policy that emphasizes the event's goals and target audience may be more appropriate than a policy of exclusion.

  6. @anon:
    Word. I'm actually excited when I see actual lesbians at gay bars. If you've ever been to one, you get the point.

    @ CHRIS. So much license in this post. What!

  7. "I'm assuming that there are more performers at the Drag Show than the three that were mentioned. Were the rest not invited to the clique?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i love you. <3

  8. You know what's SO FUNNY? The same anonymous poster pretending to be another, replying to themselves.

  9. Hey, #5. I agree that there are many issues that need to be addressed by both the LGBTQ community and by people in general. However, the thing that grates on me most about "you guys" is the automatic erasure of my gender identity. I'm a cisgendered woman, but by calling me a "guy" or a "dude" people seem to be trying to tell me who I am (or should be). Of course, that is just my personal experience - for an expert's take you should check out this article:

  10. #5. I agree with you 100%. I think that, as a community, there are more important things to focus on. I exchange ya'll for you guys and utterances of the like quite frequently. I certainly never use a greeting like, "you guys" to impose a gender or societal norm on someone. But I do understand that some people may be offended by aformentioned greeting. Regardless of how we feel about the issue, if someone is offended by these greetings, we should respect them and avoid using "you guys" in their presence. After all, this community is all about equality and respect.

  11. I hate to say it, but "importance" is subjective. What might seem lesser in importance to some might be the most important issue to others. We do need to respect peoples' opinions. I, for one, don't care at all about greetings like "you guys" (and as a southerner, I say "y'all" anyways) but every little issue is important. Without paying attention to minor issues, the goals obtained lack inclusion of the entire population, thus prolonging the time consumed trying to reach these goals. Every little part matters, regardless of if you think it's important or not. I say continue with bringing up the issue of gender-exclusive greetings WHILE focusing on "more important things".

  12. #2-Glad you felt reassured. Hope to see you at the next one!

  13. With #5's post, I agree compeltely as well. Let's be concerned about the big picture, which is legal equality, gay marriage recognition, acceptance of homosexuality before fine tuning the minor things, such as the issue with "freshman" or "you guys." But I do agree with Dan's point that language used around people sensitive to this idea should be modified out of respect. I honestly think that focusing on the minor things while trying to advocate for major rights will honestly turn off people rather than having any progress.

  14. Thanks for sharing this post really nice.. keep it up.

  15. @anon 848, this is anon 726. I happen to know anon 228 and can assure you that' we are not one in the same. That said, I think its SO FUNNY that you can't imagine more than one disillusioned member of this cliquity clique clique community.