[Editor's note: Please welcome our newest writer, Julian, to the blog!]
“Is there anybody out there?” yells Chris Martin at the beginning of Coldplay concerts. I can share in the eccentric and self conscious question, both as a musician and slightly-out-of-place Brit in a now-larger world.
Music critics tend to criticize Coldplay as being too middle-of-the-roadsy. Not as soft as acoustic feel-good artists like Jack Johnson. Not as hard as their edgy South England counterparts Muse. And I think for the same reason, I’ve had trouble figuring out what my identity is, as one of the middle-of-the-roaders – I was born in England to Chinese parents, but spent the majority of my life in the United States. I sound British, look Chinese, and act American, roughly speaking. I can be pretty indecisive (or maybe I’m not), yet I’m completely obsessed with music, Lost and running, among other things. And the reason I’m on this blog - I am bisexual.
The problem with being in the middle of the road is that all of us are guilty of only seeing one road. A certain chum of mine once told me that she is sexually attracted to none, and romantically attracted to any. Being the dense block I am, my knee jerk reaction was, “having her cake and eating it too eh?” But rather, she’s just on different ends of different roads, because it’s illogical to lump your preferences into one linear item. Speaking of myself, I find myself somewhat more attracted to females than I am to males sexually, but equally romantically. But being in the middle of the road is a completely valid identity.
A friend once asked, “Does that create like jealousy issues if you’re dating a girl or what?” I prefer not to toot my own horn (or use clichés [or speak in parentheses]), but I think my response is as good as any, “If I’m dating you, then that means I picked you over twice as many people.”
So what if Coldplay isn’t a soft downy blanket of acoustic guitars or a spear-tipped wall of noise? So what if I haven’t yet figured out what I want or what I believe yet? I am living my life as I believe it is meant to be, and in my case, and I believe many others, there is no compromise or hypocrisy in being who and what I am. Though I do have to apologize for making this post more about Coldplay than me. Expect more of this.
[Pictured above is me and my best friend from back home in the San Francisco Bay Area, Andres. Back in a smaller world, we were part of the Jolly Green Giants.]