January 19, 2012

How I Told My Mom

Remember that last post about me trying to figure out how to tell my mom about my girl? Well I did it. =)

Babygirl bought me flowers the day before I went home for winter break (for no particular reason, might I add – she’s just sweet like that). I thought they were beautiful and didn’t want them to die while I was gone, so I packed them up in wine bottles and drove home with them riding shotgun in two console cupholders.

“What are you gonna say when your mom asks you where you got the flowers?” she asked.

“I’m gonna say you gave them to me.”

She was pretty proud of herself for creating the centerpiece for the conversation that was about to go down. She also seemed just as anxious/excited/nervous as I was, and kept telling me to call her “when it happens”.

When I got home, no one was there. I breathed a sigh of relief and began to rehearse “the script” while I arranged my flowers on the desk in my bedroom.

Mom, I’m with a girl. I want you to know because I love you and I want us to be close. Pause. Stop thinking about it. You’ll freak yourself out. Just do it. And then the front door opened.

My mom and I always greet each other like old friends who haven’t seen one another in years. Maybe that’s because I really don’t come home often, even though home is only about an hour away from Duke. Maybe it’s because we’re just dramatic. We hugged and shrieked and she made some comment about how I looked (standard), and then we went our separate ways – she to her bedroom and I to the refrigerator (also standard). It wasn’t long before I was sitting at the table, snack in hand, watching her head toward my own bedroom. I sucked in my breath.

“Hey where’d you get your flowers?!”

Shit. It’s go-time. Ok act like you didn’t hear her. Buy some time.

“Amber! Where’d you get your flowers?! They’re so pretty!” This time, she was back and looking at me expectantly.

"Well,” I said, with my hands in my pockets and an anxious grin teetering across my lips, “Jess gave them to me.”

“Ohhh….wait, is she gay?”

“Um, I don’t know…”

“Well what does that make you…?”

“Um…well, she and I are … seeing each other.” Awkward smile.

Gasp. Cue word vomit: “Oh my God, Amber! You just got home! Soon as you walk in the door?! You couldn’t give me ONE good day?! Oh my God. You know what? I’m gonna clean. I have to clean. This house is gonna be SPOTLESS!”

Laughter. “Oh as if this is a bad thing!”

“Well!....” She grew silent. Her eyes were both incredulous and tired at the same time. She had been mending a broken marriage for the past five years and was finally seeing the fruit of her efforts during this Holiday season. Shame that “this” had to happen when things were finally looking up… But then things took a turn for the hilarious.

“Look, I know that you’re in college and that in our society it’s more acceptable for two girls to do this sort of thing than two guys…” Haha Mama, that’s irrelevant.

“You know, it’s probably just temporary. It’s just a phase…” Nope, I’ve done it before, Mom. As early as middle school. And plenty of times after that.

“I mean I know why you’re doing it, I’ve seen girl on girl videos. I’ve had ‘experiences’, but I won’t tell you about them because you’d look at me differently” … 0___0 . T.M.I., Mom. That’s a little bit more bonding than I’m trying to do right now.

“Well you know what I’m gonna ask…” Laughter. “So you have! You’ve BEEN with her!” Yeah Mom! Want me to tell you about it? Sit down, I’ll tell you everything you want to know! “No, I don’t need details!!!”

And then she laughed. We both did. That’s something that our family is good for – taking an awkward situation and turning it into pure entertainment. The whole scene had been like something on TV. I kept thinking Man, I should really record this. This is GREAT! But when it was all over and we’d had our chance to laugh at each other during what was supposed to be an intense moment, she hugged me.

“I love you.”

“I love you too Mama.”

And we laughed again.

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